estoria | [closed]

Who: Abe no "bad at kids" Sousei

deontology & Elle "the sassmaster" Mel Marta

foodcritic
When: IC: 12/06 | OOC: 3/17
Where: Around the park
What: There is a damsel in distress in this log (spoilers: it's sousei)
Rating/Warning: None!

[He just wanted to go home from work.

He takes a different path home from work every day, though, in an attempt to familiarize himself with every single aspect of this place. So he's dressed as casually as he gets here (slacks and a long-sleeved shirt) though his sword is at his side as ever.

One would think that that and his general unimpressed expression would be enough to save him, and yet.

He's right along the fringes of said park when he's stopped by one of the natives and their robot companion, trying to push this brand new pi...llow... onto him. Obviously, he declines, prepared to carry on with his merry way and try to not be horrified by pillows shaped like legs--

Except they're not satisfied with a polite "no". And all of a sudden he's being crowded by salesman and robot alike and this is not a situation he's used to, honestly, usually his expression and a "no" are enough.

It's probably a weird sight for anyone at the park, an overly energetic, pushy salesman almost shoving a pillow shaped like legs into Sousei's arms, or trying to, and Sousei stepping back, scowling.]

I said no. Enough of this.

[Usually that'd be enough but it doesn't seem to be working this time.... wow Sousei, what a new all-time low you've hit.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[it's been a little while since elle came into the park for her near-daily ritual of hanging out on the swings and waiting for ludger to get back. she's been pretty laid-back, mostly just watching said native try to sell some weird looking thing to people passing by.

most just walked by or ignored it, but the salesman looks particularly pushy with this guy. maybe it's the sword? or maybe it's because he looks so serious that a nap could make him smile. who even knows, it's a mystery to the kid who just happens to be watching. but she's kind of curious—partially about what's being forced on sousei and partially why a guy like that is even being so patient about it.]

Is there a point to having a sword if you won't use it against your enemies? [listen, even if the salesman is nonviolent, he's still an annoying solicitor, trying to force things onto people and being really rude and pushy about it. that's totally worthy of at least pointing it at the guy, right? maybe sometimes elle is a little bit too much a product of the circumstances she's endured to say something like that... despite it coming out so curious and innocent from just a few feet away.]

[His...enemies...

He glances over at her as soon as he hears that. She sounds young, and--yep, there she is, she sure looks young too. Granted, at 7 or 8 he was talking about being pawns and dying for the sake of his family, so kids can understand an awful lot.

Even so. It's an honest question, and he'll answer it honestly.]

He is not my enemy, or perhaps I would. A minor irritation isn't worth drawing my sword over.

[The native, at least, seems a little nervous by this conversation, backing away complete with pillow. Sousei may or may not notice; it's hard to say when his attention is entirely on Elle.]

I carry a sword to protect, first. [to harm the rest of the time, but who's keeping count!!!]

I dunno, a guy trying to force you to stuff after you say no seems like an enemy to me. Isn't that kind of what bad guys do?

[listen, okay. she kind of gets the "sword to protect first" thing but. well, drawing the sword would be way cooler. maybe that's the product of constantly dealing with terrorists and vindictive spirits and monsters. there isn't usually a lot peaceful conflict resolution where she's from, after all, and victor was always the type to fight with his swords... guns... hammers... first and ask questions later.

(granted, it was to protect her always, but that's not really the point here)]

He seems like a troublemaker to me. [elle, no.]

[You know, he's finding it really hard to argue that. He considers it carefully, and then nods. Yeah. That's pretty much what bad guys do, you're right.]

You're not wrong. However, he is not a threat to me personally at his current level.

[Why is this conversation so serious...]

If he were more dangerous, perhaps I would have to use my sword. [The salesman has decided that discretion is the better part of valor and has already vacated the premises.]

Well, I guess it doesn't matter now.

[she looks decidedly unamused at him, because seriously, bro!] It looks like he got away, so even if you wanted to something about it, you can't. It's a good thing you weren't hunting, or you'd be starving tonight.

[elle, no?]

[.... elle...???

Sousei arches an eyebrow at that, nodding at her frank analysis. Despite how wrong it all is, she's...not entirely wrong though!!]

Thankfully, the end goal was not to hunt, but rather to get him to leave. To that end, we were successful.

[Okay so maybe he knew all along that this conversation was freaking the guy out and this was the plan.]

Your assistance is appreciated.

Yeah, I guess you're right about that. I don't think you'd want to eat him anyway.

[...she hopes. please don't be that way, stern-looking-guy-with-a-sword. but hey, he's acknowledging her totally usefulness, so she'll put her hands on her hips and puff her chest out proudly.]

I'm a pretty good help when it comes to stuff like this.

No, I'm not interested in cannibalism.

[What a frank conversation they're having.... but at least it's relatively civil all things considered. Besides, she was legitimately helpful, even if now he's wondering even more about her life.]

... You often assist people in chasing pushy salesmen away?

[is he...interpreting this right...]

Is that what it's called?

[obviously, she's never heard the term, and she'll probably call it something entirely different should it ever come up. though why would it? why would she be talking about cannibalism at any point? who knows.]

Not often, but I'm good at helping with the little things!

The eating of other human beings? Yes, that is called cannibalism.

[congratulations on your new vocab word, elle... don't tell milla it was him.]

I see. Often, the little things are the most important things, in the end. That is an important role to take on. [the devil's in the details, after all.]

[immediately tells milla tbh...

okay probably not. maybe they should get off this topic? it's not like elle is really going to remember the word right anyway.]

Yep, you get it! That's totally what I'm best at. [and being super cute, but that goes without saying, right? right? she'll say it if she has to.]

[Yes, moving on to safer topics.

Aka how much Sousei fails to realize that 'being super cute' is implied in that statement. Because. It doesn't even cross his mind... forgive him, Elle.]

Who are the people you are assisting, then? Are they here as well? [you're not alone, are you, tiny child...]

[wow, sousei. you really have a lot to learn here.]

Some of them are! Like... Ludger and Milla.... Jude and Leia too! [look at her team, they're all super cool and strong and stuff.]

[he really, really does... but there's a flash of recognition at that, and he blinks.]

Ah. You must be Elle.

[The Elle that Milla was cooking soup for and wanted the opinion of "8 year old abe no sousei", who has not existed for nearly 20 years now.]

I am familiar with most of those names.

[it's not really that much of a stretch that he'd know at least one of them, so elle's not totally shocked or scandalized by this, but...]

You got it in one! You're pretty good, mister. [of course, who else is as cute as her and also friends with all those people? it probably wouldn't be that hard to figure out when there's not really anyone else here her age. which is fine with her, she doesn't really know how to interact with people her age anyway.]

You are a rather distinctive person. I imagine it would be difficult to mistake you for someone else.

[It would be hard for him to mistake an 8 year old, he thinks, especially when he hasn't seen any other 8 year olds around here. Still...he feels as if he's seen her picture somewhere before as well--

Ah.

She must have arrived at the same time as him; her picture had been up there as a criminal, just as his had been. With that in mind, there's a bit of concern despite himself; she's a little girl, after all.]

Have you been well, here?

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