[ question number one, of course, had been "what the fuck is Valentine's Day?"—maybe not in so many words, considering it was a little girl who'd dumped this on him, and he may be a dick but he's not that much of a dick. (he tries not to drop f-bombs until they're at least 13.) question number two was something like, no, he definitely did not sign up for this, are you sure you have the right apartment number? but she had the right name and everything.
creepy.
so, obviously, the plan was to just not show up. true, getting stood up is probably a real bummer, but not as much of a bummer as having him as your date. totally justified, right? except then it occurred to him just how much of the stupid shit that's happened to him here so far has ended up being at least a little dangerous. he'd experienced baptism by fire in the form of a camera that sucked out his goddamned soul, had a close call with a rogue hot dog, and seriously pissed off a giant pudding monster. who's to say that little girl with the basket didn't work for the government and would come back to his door the day after he blew off his "date" with a revolver? better safe than sorry, man. you just never know what kids will do these days. new plan: he'd just show up, immediately make sure the other party knew he wasn't interested, and then sit around in the vicinity until an acceptable amount of time had passed. then he could return to his cave and pretend it never even happened. yep, solid game plan.
fast-forward to the present day: the name tag is cute and all, but it's going in his pocket. name tags encourage people to talk to you, which is not the impression he wants to give off. plus, it allows him to be a little more stealthy—he can stalk around the theater mostly unnoticed, looking for the prey he doesn't even want to be hunting in the first place. so, who's the lucky lady?
oh. it's a dude. okay, then.
whatever, proceeding as planned. the downside to not wearing the name tag is that it puts the burden of making the first move (so to speak) on him. but the sooner he does it, the sooner this is all over, so he's just going to approach the snack bar and his unfairly tall "date" from behind, and then hang tight for a moment before breaking the ice. time to turn on the charm. ]
I wouldn't, if I were you. Those prices are complete bullshit.
no subject
creepy.
so, obviously, the plan was to just not show up. true, getting stood up is probably a real bummer, but not as much of a bummer as having him as your date. totally justified, right? except then it occurred to him just how much of the stupid shit that's happened to him here so far has ended up being at least a little dangerous. he'd experienced baptism by fire in the form of a camera that sucked out his goddamned soul, had a close call with a rogue hot dog, and seriously pissed off a giant pudding monster. who's to say that little girl with the basket didn't work for the government and would come back to his door the day after he blew off his "date" with a revolver? better safe than sorry, man. you just never know what kids will do these days. new plan: he'd just show up, immediately make sure the other party knew he wasn't interested, and then sit around in the vicinity until an acceptable amount of time had passed. then he could return to his cave and pretend it never even happened. yep, solid game plan.
fast-forward to the present day: the name tag is cute and all, but it's going in his pocket. name tags encourage people to talk to you, which is not the impression he wants to give off. plus, it allows him to be a little more stealthy—he can stalk around the theater mostly unnoticed, looking for the prey he doesn't even want to be hunting in the first place. so, who's the lucky lady?
oh. it's a dude. okay, then.
whatever, proceeding as planned. the downside to not wearing the name tag is that it puts the burden of making the first move (so to speak) on him. but the sooner he does it, the sooner this is all over, so he's just going to approach the snack bar and his unfairly tall "date" from behind, and then hang tight for a moment before breaking the ice. time to turn on the charm. ]
I wouldn't, if I were you. Those prices are complete bullshit.
[ nailed it. ]