[ What comes with the embrace is shocking to him, arms that wrap around his person and him trying not to flinch from contact. But, that is not what happens, he stays still and with this affection he does for a moment find himself leaning in. It's hard to reject this, with words and such he's able to deter himself from conversations but for touch — it's something a sword yearns, also by someone who he'd wish to have this affection from.
From what he can tell, Souji is warm and it's something he hopes that will stay with him as time goes on. A body that loses all warmth means nothing but pain and suffering from what he could tell. Yamato has yet to move his own hands up to wrap around the other's because he doesn't feel like he can. Nor does he want to harm him but he understands that, if he wishes to return this embrace — he'd have to feel the same.
As much as he wants to, he can't do things without asking for it to see if he can. Though, the words that follow after such a reassuring action causes him to rethink his feelings on the matter. He bites down on his bottom lip as he takes in each and every word, it sounds kind and nothing seems forced. As much as he wants it to be, everything he's hearing now is related to what he's always wanted. It's all too surreal, this shouldn't be something he gets to hear so early on in this new life of his.
He does wonder when Souji will take back what he's said. He waits and he waits. But he doesn't. He keeps speaking as if Yamato is valuable ad wants him by his side. It's funny, Yamato can't hold it against him at all, no matter how unfair when the time came and Yamato wanted to stay by his master — he couldn't because his master had died.
And here is his master, asking for him to stay. Asking so much from such a simple spirit and shouldn't Yamato be angry? He should be. But he's not. He can't think of anything like that because Souji's words. They hurt him. There's a frown that follows on Yamato's features as he tries to hold his feelings in but.. ]
I don't care about a warrior loving his swords, I don't care about that.. I just want.. [ His hands find their way at Souji's sides, not to hug him but like a child who wants to hold onto the side of their parent's clothes. He does that because he wants to hold him in a way so that he doesn't have to let go. ] ..Okita-kun to love me. When you say these things to me, I wish I could have been better — I wish I could have saved you. I wouldn't have had to wait so long just to hear these things when I don't feel like I deserve them. It's unfair. [ Though life is unfair and he shouldn't complain, he shouldn't. ] But.. I'm really happy to hear them.. I am.. I wonder if that makes me selfish.. [ Shifting just a bit so that he can rest his forehead against Souji's own, Yamato's eyes do wander and can't see him eye to eye until he speaks again. ] What does that make me.. is it okay to accept this. I just want to be with you Okita-kun, I don't want to lose you again .. so it's scary if I accept this.. will you and Kiyomitsu leave me again? [ Because when one goes, it seems like the other does follow. ]
UGH LISTEN I CAN HELP WITH THAT Turns down ac its time to become chill
From what he can tell, Souji is warm and it's something he hopes that will stay with him as time goes on. A body that loses all warmth means nothing but pain and suffering from what he could tell. Yamato has yet to move his own hands up to wrap around the other's because he doesn't feel like he can. Nor does he want to harm him but he understands that, if he wishes to return this embrace — he'd have to feel the same.
As much as he wants to, he can't do things without asking for it to see if he can. Though, the words that follow after such a reassuring action causes him to rethink his feelings on the matter. He bites down on his bottom lip as he takes in each and every word, it sounds kind and nothing seems forced. As much as he wants it to be, everything he's hearing now is related to what he's always wanted. It's all too surreal, this shouldn't be something he gets to hear so early on in this new life of his.
He does wonder when Souji will take back what he's said.
He waits and he waits. But he doesn't. He keeps speaking as if Yamato is valuable ad wants him by his side. It's funny, Yamato can't hold it against him at all, no matter how unfair when the time came and Yamato wanted to stay by his master — he couldn't because his master had died.
And here is his master, asking for him to stay. Asking so much from such a simple spirit and shouldn't Yamato be angry? He should be. But he's not. He can't think of anything like that because Souji's words. They hurt him. There's a frown that follows on Yamato's features as he tries to hold his feelings in but.. ]
I don't care about a warrior loving his swords, I don't care about that.. I just want.. [ His hands find their way at Souji's sides, not to hug him but like a child who wants to hold onto the side of their parent's clothes. He does that because he wants to hold him in a way so that he doesn't have to let go. ] ..Okita-kun to love me. When you say these things to me, I wish I could have been better — I wish I could have saved you. I wouldn't have had to wait so long just to hear these things when I don't feel like I deserve them. It's unfair. [ Though life is unfair and he shouldn't complain, he shouldn't. ] But.. I'm really happy to hear them.. I am.. I wonder if that makes me selfish.. [ Shifting just a bit so that he can rest his forehead against Souji's own, Yamato's eyes do wander and can't see him eye to eye until he speaks again. ] What does that make me.. is it okay to accept this. I just want to be with you Okita-kun, I don't want to lose you again .. so it's scary if I accept this.. will you and Kiyomitsu leave me again? [ Because when one goes, it seems like the other does follow. ]