estoria | ( OPEN )

[ predictably, haru was so focused on what he was doing that he shrieks, jumping about a foot and practically flinging the broom away. if he'd been a cat, he probably would've climbed the walls by now, but as it is, he barely manages to keep both hands on the broom, instead clutching it to his chest as he whirls around, pale eyes wide and heart clearly about to thump right out of his chest. ]

S-Souji-san! [ and then his ears and face start going red. ] I-- I didn't think anyone else was home. [ ugh why is he always doing embarrassing stuff around souji..

and then hard on the heels of embarrassment, his lips twitch down in an almost-imperceptible frown. ]

Ah, Souji-san, you need to be resting! [ he gently sweeps at the older man's feet with the end of the broom. ] Go sit down, at least.

[Souji laughs unabashedly at Haru's reaction, childishly and brightly, and manages to somehow restrain the inevitable coughing that follows to a rather decent minimum. He completely ignores the younger man's fussing at first, wiping his lips just in case before grinning.]

See? Your footwork allowed you to turn around really fast - but you've completely dropped your position otherwise. [With a lightning-fast movement, he apparently decides to demonstrate his point by giving Haru's shoulder a pretty hard whack with the side of his hand.

Then he lowers his hand, sighs, and finally acknowledges the saniwa's worries.]

Honestly, I can walk about a bit. I haven't even been outside today at all, and I've rested a lot this morning. [Pouting like a child at you, sir.]

I-- [ haru clutches the broom close again, ears going even redder. ] I'm not very good yet. I just-- I've been missing practice lately, so.. [ so he gets his practice in when and where he can.

still, he clears his throat--his own cough is finally mostly gone--trying to look stern while still blushing. ]

Even if you've rested a lot this morning, you still need to rest more. We need to get your strength back as soon as possible. [ he hesitates, expression softening faintly. ] I know you hate it and it's boring, but we care about you and we want you feeling better. [ a beat. ] Maybe it'd be less boring on the couch? The TV's there-- [ now that he's replaced it. ] --and some of the others should be getting home soon..

You already have what it takes, though. You're brave, and you're prepared to sacrifice for those you want to protect. The rest is a matter of time.

[That is easy to say if you have been a natural sword fighting genius since you were honestly to god three years old. Still, from the way he's smiling he really means what he says - Haru might never be a sword fighting virtuoso, but to Souji, the most important part really is what you're willing to give up. Everything else is just a matter of luck, really.

Souji then lets out a small sigh and finally resigns to Haru's care, because he really does understand that he only means well. Obediently sitting down on the sofa, he opens his arms so that Saizou can join him, smiling up at Haru.]

It's just that I've been so very isolated back home for a while... and I feel a lot better here. It's hard not to get impatient. [A small, teasing quirk to his smile.] And you know, I was also hungry and heading for the kitchen.

[ ugh stop complimenting him.. he can't handle it. (as evidenced by how red his whole face is, and how stiff his skinny shoulders are.)

he's glad for the change of subject, setting the broom aside as souji sits down and rocking up on his toes, then back on his heels. ] Ah, well, you'll never be isolated in this household. [ not if haru has anything to say about it. ] If you're hungry, though, I can make something. How about soup?

[ he's already crossing the short distance to the kitchen, anyway, gently kicking his small step-stool out so he can get dishes and a pot out. he puts water on for tea a moment later. ] I think it's almost time for your medicine, too, right? So I can get that after you eat.

[That blush is adorable. Haru is adorable. Souji giggles quietly and happily, snuggling his perma-skeptical piglet and beaming at Haru.]

I know! [He sounds so incredibly happy about being in the middle of this madhouse full of Really Intense personalities all around.] It's wonderful. It feels just like home. [That is, just like home before he was first moved to Kondou's private residence, and then to Osaka Castle. Sigh.

He shakes his head in silent amusement as Haru heads off immediately to the kitchen, but he's honestly still grateful. Better or not, even little things like making food still takes an unreasonable amount of energy.]

Soup would be really nice, thanks. Ah, and-! [He picks three small bottles out of the pocket of his robe.] I took it with me. [A beat.] It's a very nice new TV. [Uhm, sorry about Yamato blowing it up? Souji feels vaguely responsible still.]

It is a lot like being back at the citadel, especially now that more of my spirits have shown up. [ haru ties his apron on and tucks a few loose strands of hair behind his ear, getting a chopping board and vegetables out for the soup. ] I guess.. really, that place and this.. it's more 'home' to me than home was. The only thing I'm missing is my siblings.

[ and he misses them so much, and he wants so badly for ceres to bring them here-- but he can't keep thinking about it. he has obligations here, responsibilities.

he glances back up as he scoops the chopped vegetables in the pot, peering at the bottles in souji's hands, then glancing to the tv. ]

--Ah. [ well. ] It's not really how I wanted to get a new one, but.. Yamato-kun is.. [ he trails off for a moment, then sighs a little, wiping his hands on his apron. ] He's sweet and well-intentioned and I love him a lot, but he's a little intense sometimes.

I always thought of wherever certain people I care about are, that's the kind of place I can call "home". Even with some of them missing... it's more like waiting around with the rest of your family for them to come home, right?

[And he really understands the unspoken longing behind Haru's words too, because he aches for his own motley, makeshift family to join him in this place where he's not dying as well.

He hums in amusement at Haru's description of Yamato, arranging the pillows in the sofa a bit more comfortably around himself.]

You know, I'm pretty sure more than one person have talked about me the same way, so I think I understand. Though it's a bit of a strange feeling, in a way. [Although their Okita Souji was a bit different, it still feels as if Kashuu got that intense neediness and fear of loneliness and failure directly from him, and like Yamato... well, like Yamato got a big helping of all the other issues, to be honest.] I think he still doesn't know what to do with himself with me around, but hopefully it'll get easier with time.

Mn.. Yeah, I guess you're right. [ he just has to keep hoping, and in the meantime, make this a safe place for the people he loves.

he's quiet for a few moments as he stirs the pot, mouth twitching down faintly in thought. at last, though, he plants his free hand on his hip, glancing back at souji in the living room. ]

Yamato-kun is a lot like you. The big difference, I think, is that he hasn't been human long enough to learn a little more control. Given a few more years, though, I think he'll learn that. [ he glances back to the pot, tapping the spoon off and setting it aside, then putting the lid on it. ] .. It's just.. hard for him, I think. Having you here, knowing that we're not really supposed to interfere with history, seeing you ill. But.. once he has a little time to adjust, it'll be okay. He loves you more than anything in the world.

[A small twitch of an expression passes his face, halfway between laughter and something unusually cynical for someone like Souji.]

Ah, well, I know what that's like too. I mean, I've never been good at being human the way most people see it, and when I was younger there were s lot of things I hadn't learned yet. [He shrugs a pair of bony shoulders, his smile rueful.] No wonder he reminds me of myself when I was a kid, huh?

[It's a bit worrying to Souji too, because he knows how easy it had been for him to start orbiting around Hijikata back then, and it's clear how important he is to Yamato in every way. And, well, he doesn't think he has the right qualities to be thought of so highly.]

I wish my presence didn't hurt him, but... I will try to make it easier and get him to forget about all those sad and difficult things. [He sighs.] I just don't think I'm the right person to think of so highly. That ViViD program got it right - when I first got out, I had "Not Your Role Model" stuck over my head for a couple of hours.

[ he's quiet again as he gets cups down for the tea, setting them with a tiny click against the countertop. after a while, he makes a musing noise. ]

I think.. we're all a little weird here. Weird and.. maybe a little bit damaged somehow. Like chipped cups. [ he picks one of the cups up, turning it in his hands. ] But it's okay. A chipped cup can still hold water, and damaged people can still hold a lot of good things inside them.

[ he sets the cup back down, then pours water to make the tea. when he's finished, he brings a cup over to souji and offers it out. ]

And there are a lot of good things about Souji-san to admire. [ pale eyes warm fondly. ] It's okay if there are some bad traits, too. Just help Yamato-kun focus on the things you want him to know, and be honest with him.

[Souji gratefully reaches out his hands and takes the cup, leaning over it a bit so he can breathe in the fumes - that always eases his breathing a little bit, and the slight, constant scraping noise lessens somewhat. He resists saying that some are more cracked than chipped, and then it depends a bit on how far the crack goes. Haru still has a good point, and there's a time and a place to argue semantics.]

Honestly, I've always thought that both people and things only get more interesting once they've gotten a bit chipped and stained with time - but then, I don't have to tell someone like you that, huh?

[A saniwa sage in charge of a big number of sword spirits would know all about how the marks of time bring more life to things as well as people.

He makes a soft little noise, lapping experimentally on his tea, but it's still too warm.] I'll do my best, of course. He's very sweet, and very brave and loyal. I'd like to get to know him better, and ease his mind. [He shoots Haru a warm glance.] It's strange, how different they are, and yet... at the same time, not completely different at all. And since I know I care so much about one, it is quite impossible not to already love the other.

[ he fidgets a moment or two, then glances away, ears going red again. awkwardly, he shuffles back to the kitchen to check on the soup. ]

Um. Well.. you know. I was raised by spirits, mostly. [ he's never really talked about that. he doesn't intend to now. it's just.. ] I didn't even know it wasn't.. normal for a long time. But they always seemed more real than.. humans. When I was younger. [ in a lot of ways, he's still more comfortable around spirits and demons and monsters than he is around human beings. spirits he gets. humans are complicated. ] And then.. you know, there's.. the tsukumogami, and they're--

[ he trails off, then pours tea for himself to give him something to do with his hands. ]

.. I'm really, really glad that you love them, too. I'm really glad that Kashuu-kun and Yamato-kun have you here. I'm glad.. that.. you're staying here.

[Souji tilts his head curiously in response, because really, who wouldn't be s bit fascinated? His own childhood was hardly what anyone would call entirely ordinary, but that's not quite the same thing.] Raised by spirits, huh? I have a friend with spiritual powers, and those kind of things seem perfectly ordinary and real to him, but I suppose it's just a bit hard to imagine if you're not that kind of person.

[His curious expression warms into a smile after a couple of moments.] Then again, they clearly did a very good job, so maybe it's not that much stranger than any other way.

[He lowers his head for a moment, making another attempt at the tea, and this time managing to take a couple of tiny sips.]

I'm really grateful to be here, you know. Back home... mm, you can see I don't have much time left, right? And Osaka castle is pretty far away from where most of the Shinsemgumi are. I'm honestly feeling less lonely here than there - that's pretty sad. [His tone lightens somewhat.] And I'm grateful as well as honored to have a chance to get to know them - and the other swords too! And you, Ha~ru~ji! [Yep, the nickname is everywhere.]

[ he shakes his head a little as he sets the kettle back down and lifts the spoon to stir the soup. ] I just-- my parents were.. busy. [ 'busy' is one way of putting it. ] And our house was old. And.. because I have.. these powers, spirits and the like could sense me. So we had a lot of them around, and they taught me how to do things. [ which.. isn't the point. ah-- ] I mean, the point is that-- You know, they're really important to me, and I'm really overprotective of all of them sometimes, and-- I was really prepared not to like you, but I-- I do. So I'm really glad. And you always have a home here with us, and so do the others if they show up.

[ in all this time, he hasn't turned around to look at souji, too embarrassed by his own admission, ears red beneath the fall of his hair.

it only gets worse as souji says that. he whirls in embarrassed shock, pale eyes going wide. ] Souji-san, that-- [ HE'S NOT YOUR MASTER??? OKAY??? ugh, he brandishes the spoon at him, whole face a little red. ] I know I boss you around some, but calling me that..

[Souji listens in silence at first, taking in the silent implications of subtle abandonment, and duties shouldered at a rather young age - no wonder Haru reminds him of Tatsu sometimes. He looks away as Haru tells him that he's been prepared to hate him, a subdued gesture, weighted by the complexity of his feelings.]

Of course. I understand.

[He can only try to put as much gratitude and goodwill in his voice, trying to communicate that he really does see what Haru means. Kashu, who was so strong and bold and beautiful... and brittle underneath all that, as if one unkind word might raze him to the ground. Souji had given him that. And Yamato too, in a different way. Somehow in the last stages of Souji's tragedy, he'd imprinted too much of himself into the sword, left him aching for everything he could not have, trying to hold it alive within himself even though it twisted him up inside at times.

But then he shakes those melancholy thoughts away, shaking with barely controlled laughter as Haru appears to threaten him with a kitchen implement, and at the bright blush underneath.] Ah, really? I don't get to use it? [A theatrical sight.] What a shame. And I thought it was so cute too. It makes everyone sound so much like a true family. [He's so cheating.]

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