estoria | ( OPEN )

[It is entirely likely.]

War wasn't on the sea when I was active.

[He reaches for a new piece of beef jerky, sticking it in his mouth, as he goes back to cleaning. The movie's chaotic conclusion tumbles onward, side characters getting shot and falling as they continue the charge up the hill. The one bright ray of hope is that the enemy is also dwindling.]

[Goodbye...characters...]

I see, that does make sense. Swords on seas isn't the kind of warfare we were really involved in either. [That being Asia.

There seems to be an epic sunrise happening too, whoa.]

[The two main characters are the only ones left and they crest the hill just as the sunrise hits. They run into the last of the enemy and overwhelm them, but one of them takes a mortal wound for their buddy before the battle ends.]

What kind of warfare happened in your area? The ones I fought were mainly two or three armies, swords on flat battlefields, and the Battle of Hakata Bay. Sounds like water, but I was mainly used on land.

[Oh no she's about to tear up again as the music stops swelling, being eerily silent as death happens.]

A-ah...we had that a long time ago too. [When she was living with China.] In modern day, it became less about the front lines and more about ambushes and skirmishes. Stealth became more key.

[He's just chewing the beef jerky, watching as the main hero holds his friend as he dies. They're exchanging final words now, talking about how they accomplished their mission.]

I suck at stealth. Glad I was kept on the old-fashioned battlefield.

[Ah, this is too sad. She's just staring at her food too now. How did that ice cream keep, seriously.

At least the scene is peaceful.]

Yes, I think now you would be assigned to much more aggressive tasks. Teamwork and specialties are still important.

[magic ice cream

He watches for a bit longer, then the music starts up again as the film ends.]

Open fields and smashing into the enemy. Not really anything special except that I'm harder to break than the others.

[With the credits rolling, he goes back to cleaning his sword.]

[Donut how did you find this.

She's doing that very discreet while the credits started to roll...]

Some of that still works, but it depends on how. It's not as straightforward anymore. That being said, with your body, I think they would be able to let you do whatever you want more often.

[She can now actually finish eating?!] Do you want to watch something else?

[also magic....?

he pats the powdered ball against the blade.]

With my body? You mean the fact that I can't die as easily?

[This is amazing, need to take him shopping everywhere.

She's finishing the ice cream though because she's not taking anymore chances.]

Yes, you're much more sturdier than humans. Also you're very strong. That's a trained body.

[but his powers only work for food

He keeps chewing away at his jerky, but man, now he wants ice cream, too. He's going to gain 5000 pounds.]

Not really training. I just woke up this way.

[That's good enough, food is important.

They can definitely go for seconds after she's done...what a fat.]

But it works like a body that a human trains for a long time for, no? That and it's harder to injure you.

[what a pair of happy fatties]

Yeah, guess that's true. I can get hurt, but I heal faster, that's all.

[They're going to need so much exercise BUT WORTH IT.]

Mmm, a lot of us fight directly too because we can withstand injuries and heal up faster! [Though her appearance doesn't make anyone confident in her skills, unlike Doutanuki.]

So the countries go into war themselves, too? Isn't that dangerous?

[She...actually never thought about it like this. This might be the first time anyone asked her this?!]

Well, we can't really die, so it shouldn't be...but yes, we have been captured before as prisoners. [She heard stories about England's cooking being used as torture (okay not that bad but France was probably the one telling it after he heard from the Italian brothers.)]

...Isn't that really bad? You're a country. You're more important than any shogun or master, and yet you put yourselves on the front lines?

[She really doesn't understand why they keep putting her on a higher pedestal!]

A-ah, I am not more important than any master, o-or shogun. [Shogun?] World leaders are our bosses! I am just a vassal.

[That...doesn't seem right.]

You're a country. Even if you can't "die" in a conventional sense, your distress is your country's distress, isn't it? Wouldn't it be a bad thing to put such an important person in the line of fire?

[Now she's beginning to make sense why they, like Doutanuki, keeps making sure she's never in battle. It took a while to convince Haru that she's nothing more than a vassal.]

Well, it sort of is, but it isn't? How to explain...I can feel the distress, but as long as I am there, life continues. And I am always still there. So I try to do what I can by going into battle, since I can help. I'm not that important, even though the country is.

[He tries. HE IS REALLY TRYING to understand, so he stares at her for a good, say, thirty seconds.]

...Yeah, I don't get that.

[COMPREHENSION: FAILED.

So he'll just stick to his idea that even if she can't die, she's a VIP. That makes sense to him.]

Point is, here you gotta be more careful, right?

[She's going to stare back, she's going to let him think.

SHE FAILED.]

You will be pleased to know that I do have to as now I am mortal here. [With powers, sure. But still a fleshy bag.] I believe if I am careless, you will scold me.

Yeah, good bet.

[He leans back again and closes his eyes. Because even if he'll scold her, he won't listen to the same scolding if it's directed at him.

Hypocrisy! /jazzhands]

[SHE WOULD JUST SHAKE HER HEAD AT HIM.]

Well, I will listen to you...if you also try to keep safe as well.

[Though this is harder since he keeps thinking she's important?! DAMMIT.]

[He shrugs, then goes back to cleaning the sword, wiping the powder off with a dry cloth before sliding it back into the saya.]

Don't have to worry about that. Haven't been to any good battles here that mattered recently. A damn shame, too.

ALL OF IT IS

SHAKES HARD

DIES

NO COME BACK

/REFUSES

REVIVES!!!!

REFUSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

2LATE

DEAD 5EVER

gives steak

well shit

#winning

#sadface

oh no...more food

/steals everything, moves to non-extradition country

WHOA??? WHAT IS THIS???

just as keikaku

kidnaps back!!

whoa whoa time to call in the fbi and put out abduction alert

missing: one donut

dunkin donuts and krispy kreme come calling

but it's the wrong donut!!! /eats them nyway

oic so any donut will do!!!

WASTE NO DONUT

but what if he wants to get wasted