estoria | [Closed] I'm not dead, I'm just floating

Entry tags:

[Closed] I'm not dead, I'm just floating

Who: Jack Frost and ~~his hypocrisy~~ his traumatized cr (Hiccup, Hiro, Korra, Rei, Athena)
When: IC 3/17 (aka backdated to three days after the raid)
Where: Their apartments, the shrines
What: After coming back from the death, Jack wants to check on his friends
Rating/Warning: Lots of angst, talk about death, mentions of gory details

[For three hundred years, Jack didn't know who he was or where he came from... but death had always definitely been an option. He had many other theories too, of course, but being dead fit the pattern - spirits had to come from somewhere, right? So when he finally found out the truth, it wasn't shocking. He was delighted to get his story, and even if being dead became a touchy subject later, it was because of its nature more than how it affected Jack.

This time, things aren't as easy.

Death shouldn't be a fear for him. Something to think about when it comes to his past, sure. Worry about belief and disappearing, that too. But facing physical pain with such horror? That shouldn't be a thing for Jack - he may've been hit multiple of times and it hurt, but it's only magic that can truly damage him. So facing that fan and being caught in its blades... there are no words to describe how horrible it was.

That's what he's thinking about when he wakes up in the park. Is this death? Is it Ceres messing with him? Has worldhopping changed his nature? Jack lays there on the grass, frustrated, angry, feeling powerless, and most importantly... scared.

The way to fight fear is fun, and what makes Jack snap out of it is the sound of bright laughter coming from the children running toward him. They're so happy to see him! They missed him, they have been so worried! Jack is buried under hugs and tears and, underwhelming as it is, he'll take this over angsty thoughts everyday.

He can think about his death later. Here he has people to worry about. As long as he is still an eternal spirit, he can go on, coping with pain as it comes. He coped for three centuries after all.

The kids aren't told the truth, but Jack stays with them until his body is less sore and his powers are fully back (what's with that anyway?). Then he sends them home with promises of more fun tomorrow - he has things to do.

A Guardian cares about children, sure, but he also cares about his friends.]

((ooc: I'll add top levels for each character! As I said in plurk, please don't feel pressured to tag right now. I'm just setting up things for organization, you can tag when your own threads are done.))

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[ the glance jack offers toothless is met with a bit of shame on the dragon's part--ear fins, lowered, a result of his failures and jack's unfortunate fate.

not you too. that's confirmation enough, isn't it? and while jack's outrage is mirrored in hiccup now, he knows going back anywhere is a mistake right now. one of the last things he wanted to happen happened (jack getting hurt. killed? however that... works. the specifics really aren't his concern, the outcome is), and he wasn't about to let it happen again for some kind of revenge. ]

Jack, no. No, you can't. [ is what he says, careful to keep his own anger out of his voice, his own discomfort. he has to be-- rational about this, they both do, because this is more confirmation than ever that ceres is dangerous.

at least the cooling temperature helps. and... doesn't, at the same time. his hand outstretches and settles, tentatively, on a cold shoulder. ] I want them to answer for what they did to everyone--to you too, trust me, but we can't. Charging in again like that...

[ the implied "will just get you killed again... again" goes unsaid, his head shaking to get that out of his thoughts. ]

I'm fine. [ this is more certain, after a small breath. honestly: ] But if you get hurt again-- I won't be.

[ um!!! it's getting colder, gosh... she starts rubbing her forearms with her palms, not letting it look like she's bothered by it so much for jack's sake. ]

We kidnapped an employee and interrogated him... we didn't even get much out of him.

[What Jack's greeted with is actually Baymax first. Hiro had still been staying at Tadashi's place and when the robot sees Jack he gives a cheerful wave before immediately analyzing Jack.]

Hello, Jack. You appear to be distressed. What seems to be the trouble?

[Baymax's patient is currently tucked somewhere else in the apartment and apparently sent his squishy robot out to see what the noise was about.]

[Toothless will get an apology later, poor thing. It wasn't Jack's intention to accuse him of anything, but right now he needs answers, he needs reassurance, he needs...

To go back in time and stop everything before it happens, that's what he fucking needs.

That hand-- usually it would mean so much, getting that comfort, having someone not afraid to touch his body. But he has to go, freeze that building to the ground, make them answer for what they did, for ruining a life like that-- it's not right. Pale fingers close around Hiccup's wrist, intending to get it off his shoulder...

It's the words that make him stop.

And he just stays like that at first, holding his friend's wrist (humans are always so warm), blue eyes wide as doll-North's. When he finally speaks, his smile is hesitant, flattered but at the same time worried. He doesn't want to be the reason for Hiccup (or anyone) not being ok - he also sounds his real age, that mix of elderly, tired and "had seen too much shit already".]

...don't do that. I'm just an old spirit, but you-- you have a LIFE and a FAMILY waiting for you back home, you shouldn't-- this isn't right, you shouldn't know-- [--what death feels like, goes unsaid. Hiccup's wrist is squeezed and yep, there we go, snowing in the room right now. Light, chilly and sad.] ...I'm sorry. I-- I should've protected you. Heck, I shouldn't have let you come.

Edited (tears make me typo) 2015-09-20 22:53 (UTC)

[The robot can have such a soothing effect, it's kinda amazing (not telling Tadashi that though). It doesn't completely calm down Jack -the frown is still there- but at least he isn't slamming things anymore. Neurotransmitter levels: gotta destroy Ceres point nine.]

Baymax. [Such a serious tone.] Where is Hiro?

[Jack will most definitely find Rei in that shrine. It's the nearest one to home, and the only one she can manage to walk to without help. Something about her final encounter in the Headquarters had really, really taken a toll on her, and it's only three days later that she's able to even walk more than fifteen feet.

The shrine though, is quiet. It's peaceful, and the sounds of city life are all gone inside, and it's a place she can focus...a place she can finally get her thoughts in order.

At least, until she feels Jack's approach. More than anything, she can tell he's approaching just by the sense of his aura now, the muted sadness coming through loud and clear.]

It's quiet here. [He'll see her bundled up on the floor, sitting upright under a heavy blanket with a cup of something that looks like it used to be warm. And laid out in front of her is a small red wand, topped with a crystal and a stylized arrow and heart. She doesn't even bother to hide it, leaving the powerful artifact thrumming with heat on the
floor.]

It's...well...I'm glad these places are here now. [She swallows hard and winces.] I'm sorry. I've not been honest with you.

You gotta be kidding me! They mess with us every other week but the minute you get in their way you get tortured?

[Sorry, Athena, he's a bit distracted at the moment. He'll take care of that weather when he's done ranting. Sorry about the frost on the couch, too.

He runs his fingers through his hair, mumbling under his breath, wanting to go back to Ceres but remembering what Hiccup said stops him. He looks up at Athena, frowns and... pokes her with the tip of his staff.]

Don't try that again! They're dangerous and won't stop until you-- [Get killed. Someone is sounding pretty old right now.]

[Wow, that sure is something. He wants to come closer, but he hesitates. It seems she's seeking warmth, which he can't provide (in fact he'd make it worse) and the wand's heat isn't of his liking either. So he hovers around, nodding along her words.]

Yeah, I like it too. They're like having a piece of-- wait, there's more than one? [He hasn't been able to check with all that happened. Ah, but that's not enough, more information incoming! He tilts his head, suddenly confused.] What do you mean...?

[It's why Baymax was designed, really, and Hiro's proud of Tadashi for figuring out every piece of Baymax's coding to make the robot as user-friendly as possible. For now though, Baymax is puzzled trying to figure out a real diagnosis for Jack beyond "irritation" but Jack's asked an important question.]

Hiro is also distressed. [Baymax turns his head, looking back toward the bedroom belonging to Tadashi before focusing on Jack again.] He is resting. Would you like to visit him? [And then,without pause:] The support of friends and loved ones has been proven to be helpful in times of stress.

We needed answers!

[ as much as she wanted to exclaim that, her voice wavers around due to the cold. not to mention that she's started to speak slower than normal. ]

I'm— I'm going to do what I can to help as many people here, and that includes getting answers for them.

[She's seeking solace, not warmth. Rei's head lifts up to meet his eyes, and she nods stiffly.] Earth, Fire, Water, Air. There are four.

[But...let's not quibble on that. Long fingers reach out for the wand, wrapping around it, and she smiles wanly.]

I told you before I was just a miko. I'm not. I...before the groups were separated a few days ago, do you remember a girl with long black hair and high heeled shoes?

[ ... well, that's a thing. not that hiccup even flinches--he's more than used to jack's abilities, knows what to expect when emotions get a little out of control. he doesn't need that to know how much this is affecting jack but it's an additional reminder.

not even a hint of a shiver.

in his own way, hiccup's exhausted too--not in the way jack is and probably not to the extent jack is, but seeing people around him get hurt, being unable to do anything... is tiring. even more, having jack blame himself when things happen to him, when his own well-being is his own responsibility and he was the reckless one is--

--that's hypocritical, he knows. he knows what the apology means, why it's being said, but he doesn't need it. ]

You aren't just some-- old spirit that can get hurt for all of us. [ ugh. why does jack always insist on that? not that hiccup doesn't know the answer. he does. ] You knowing what it's like once is more than enough reason that you shouldn't have to go through that again.

[ ah. hiccup reins himself in, his own desperation showing through. he's been careful to just... shove a lot of things away, finding that he couldn't deal with them at the moment with more important things in focus. if he just lets everything go, it won't help. it won't help jack, which is the important thing right now.

like he told jack, he's fine. ]

Just. Look, Jack. There's nothing you need to be sorry about. I thought that was what I-- needed to do. [ a little more subdued, disappointed: ] ... And it's not like I protected you either.

[ what had his father said? a chief protects his own. and yet hiccup couldn't even do that.

as they discuss toothless approaches the two of them, uncertain... but in the end sits down a little bit away, waiting. ]

[Not a shiver indeed. Hiccup always mentions the hard winters of Berk, and Jack has to wonder exactly how hard Old Man Winter was on them. It's nice, having someone not minding the cold, but with everything going right now, well-- for once in his very long life, he wishes that old bastard would give them a break some day.

The viking gets another squeeze on his wrist - no, Jack hasn't let go yet. Being comfortable with touch isn't easy for him but right now? He is, and he needs it, so those hands are staying where they are, thank you. His expression softens, too, smile a bit less hesitant. Everything sucks, sure, but Hiccup is showering with affection, as screwed up as context makes it, and that's something this loner appreciates a lot.]

...you are the best-est of friends, did you know that?

[Someone cares about him so hard that makes having died again worth it. See him, touch him, please don't let him be alone ever again. How can Ceres do him so good and so bad at the same time? Jack doesn't want to be thankful to them, dammit.]

I've been around for a long, long time. And I-- have been through a lot already. Seen a lot. [Caused a lot too.] And it'll keep coming to me, that's how my kind goes. ...it's not often I have company though. [He tries to sound joking but he isn't very successful.] I'm still learning how to be a friend, but I do know I'm a Guardian. Even if you're a little older than my usual line of work... [Look, a chuckle! Dry and short, but it's something.] ...please don't tell me not to protect you, Hic.

[Because I'll always get hurt for my friends.

There's probably more to say, but Toothless interrupts the moment - when someone this big sits down, it doesn't go unnoticed. Jack looks at him and offers a sad smile, touched by Toothless' patience and offer of space.]

Hey, big guy. Next time your nerd tries to do something stupid, you let me know so I can keep him inside, alright? [It seems "hypocritical" is the word of the day.]

[Of course he wants to visit him, what else, Jack almost snaps. But then Baymax adds the bit about friends and loved ones and it's hard to be mad at him for long.

He sighs, obviously tired - well, maybe not so obvious for Baymax when his scanners won't find heartbeat or breathing to judge, but hey, the mood is there.]

Yeah, that's-- that's what I'm here for. Come on. [He doesn't wait for the robot, knowing how slow he can be. He just goes ahead and knocks on the bedroom's door, peeking inside regardless of the answer.] ...Hiro?

Answers aren't worth your life!

[Unlike her, he has no problem snapping, a sudden and strong wind slamming the window shut. That's what makes Jack realize his little mood-weather problem and so he puts the staff down, also lowering his eyes as he concentrates on calming down and returning the room temperature to normal.]

...you have to help yourself, too. [The word of the day is: hypocrisy.]

Hey, look at me.

[ all athena can offer is a smile, despite how scared she is right now. ]

I'm fine.

[The only indicator that Jack is being followed is the sound of vinyl squeaking with each step Baymax takes. By the time Jack gets to the door of the bedroom and looks in he'll be greeted with mostly darkness. The lights are off and the blinds are closed, Hiro curled on his side with the hood of his sweater pulled up over his head and face half-smushed into the pillow trying to actually take a nap. Upon hearing Jack's voice though, he turns to look at him. It's obvious that he's surprised to see the winter spirit and he pushes himself to sit up a bit, squinting through the dark.]

Jack? [After everything that happened during the raid, he had figured out that Jack had been one of the ones who hadn't made it out of the tower. He and Korra had seen the frozen door and after the distinct lack of Jack around, he'd grown worried. And now he's here and so Hiro's sitting up entirely and slightly drowning in his sweater.] You're back! [And up he goes, skinny legs tangling in the blanket on Tadashi's bed and almost tripping in his haste to get to the door. He stops just short of where Jack is in the door, standing still and trying to rein in his emotions.]

…you're back. [Because repeating himself makes it a little more real, and also lets the guy know that yes, Hiro sure did notice he was gone.]

Edited 2015-09-24 23:56 (UTC)

I'm okay. [It's a reflexive answer. She's not, really, when some of the things from their trip into the CERES building still sticks stubbornly to her memory, no matter how much she wants to forget.

Pushing those thoughts aside, Korra examines him just like he did with her a moment ago.]

What about you? We all got separated in there.

[ haah. the low hum that toothless lets out in response is a mix of light and regretful--an attempt to weigh in without making things heavier, but there's no hiding the fact that the topic is a little difficult. even if they'd already gone through it.

hiccup's also making some attempt to return that smile, though it's admittedly not that simple. it's... not the most comfortable one he's given jack, for obvious reasons. he's trying. best of friends, huh... to think he'd get so close with jokul frosti.

( at least he doesn't pull away at all, but he wouldn't. ) ]

A little?

[ his own dry, short chuckle. a difference of some 10 years is just a little older? then again, he supposes that is just a small difference to jack. ]

I get it. I'm not going to tell you not to, and I know you wouldn't listen anyway-- [ it's true, he wouldn't, because he's jack. not that that isn't hiccup's habit too. ] --But it goes both ways. I can't sit back and do... nothing. I did enough of that, way back... [ okay, five years is just five years, and not at all way back to mister old gramps. ] ... Before.

[ before when he was fifteen and had very little to keep safe, no way to do so. but, now? he has more than enough things to protect. the means. he's going to make the effort. even if he'd died... he won't hesitate.

earnestly: ]

Don't tell me not to either.

...of course there are.

[How didn't he notice that? He'll have to visit them later. This one is probably earth, considering the plants... ah, but there's something more important to pay attention to now.

Jack pauses to remember the people in the raid again - that makes him pull a face. Ugh, it should've been just him, dammit.] Long hair... dressed in red? That girl?

[Rei nods.]

That's the one.

[Her eyes search his, serious, focused. There's no joke in her words now, and she wants him to understand just how important this is.]

She is me. It's...a form I can take. A part of my power.

[He does look up, and he can't help a little smile of his own, even if he kinda disapproves of her getting those ideas again. So he reaches out and pinches her nose. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...]

No more danger for you.

[ IT WAS NIPPING, NOT PINCHING? gosh... ]

K- Kind of hard for that in this place!

[ cold... ]

[TOMATO, TOMATOE... He knows she's right about that, but still - gotta be stubborn and defend his point!]

You're safely helping here, Doctor Athena. Healing the broken?

I don't have a license to be a real doctor, so I'm just a therapist.

[ she gestures to the comfy couches, as if presenting them. ]

Ta-dah!

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[Closed] I'm not dead, I'm just floating

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/wanders in late.

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ugh manpain

caught in a bad bromance

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