[There's a nagging guilt that hits him when he realizes he doesn't care. His temperament was never one meant for disasters; terror is an easy-coming ebb and flow, where his emotions are mutable and everchanging, and so easy to incite. Panic comes with it, then worry.
Shock, seemingly, does not. But he knows it when he sees it, and trying to choke back the shaky cry that comes after, he inhales sharply and steels his expression.
It doesn't help much. He just has to try harder. He's not the one covered the afterbirth of an explosion, in lethal acidity and a foreign obscuring mask of smoke. He's not the one who has lost, here. He can feign strength, if nothing else.]
And you don't?!
[Maybe not the strongest of comebacks. It leaves too much to question, like Rin's state of undoing is up for debate. But if that's the case, well then, damn it, Ryugazaki, you are not allowed to lose.
That's when his breath catches in his throat again. It's too much, it's too much, and if this is what the real world is like, he doesn't want it. Real life isn't supposed to be fraught with so many tragedies rolled into one, as if they'd had a perpetual black cloud hanging over their heads, only shed by the coming of a hurricane.
But if he leaves Rin now, prioritizes strangers over one of his closest--projecting perhaps, too hopeful, but he considers it true--friends, what kind of friend does that make him?]
You're not in a state of mind to argue.
[It's a close to a discussion as he's entertaining on the subject. He doesn't need to theorize that. He knows.]
no subject
Shock, seemingly, does not. But he knows it when he sees it, and trying to choke back the shaky cry that comes after, he inhales sharply and steels his expression.
It doesn't help much. He just has to try harder. He's not the one covered the afterbirth of an explosion, in lethal acidity and a foreign obscuring mask of smoke. He's not the one who has lost, here. He can feign strength, if nothing else.]
And you don't?!
[Maybe not the strongest of comebacks. It leaves too much to question, like Rin's state of undoing is up for debate. But if that's the case, well then, damn it, Ryugazaki, you are not allowed to lose.
That's when his breath catches in his throat again. It's too much, it's too much, and if this is what the real world is like, he doesn't want it. Real life isn't supposed to be fraught with so many tragedies rolled into one, as if they'd had a perpetual black cloud hanging over their heads, only shed by the coming of a hurricane.
But if he leaves Rin now, prioritizes strangers over one of his closest--projecting perhaps, too hopeful, but he considers it true--friends, what kind of friend does that make him?]
You're not in a state of mind to argue.
[It's a close to a discussion as he's entertaining on the subject. He doesn't need to theorize that. He knows.]