[ rin thought he'd had rei figured out from the first moment he saw him — just another kid, just another of haru and makoto's ilk. using friendship and good will to pave the road forward rather than talent or hard work.
but then he'd surprised rin, and he'd continued to surprise rin up until the very end. up until now, where rin now stands with a clenched hand and a clenched heart, both singular, both terrible in their singularity, and finds no words. he takes a step back, hand to his forehead, and tries to pick words from the maelstrom, from the pain, from the lingering smell of charred meat. nothing comes but plumes of smoke.
rin takes another step backwards --
-- and nearly trips over a lolling form, too soft to be a protruding root. he glances behind himself, startled, only to catch sight of a river of blood --
but even that's melodrama, because it's only his sister's hair, spread in a bright banner across the ground. he forgets about the argument with rei all at once, dropping to his knees and nearly biting through his lip when the ensuing ripple of motion sends pain shooting outwards from its epicenter.
his palm flat to the ground, breath after breath drawn in and forced outwards.
he can't do anything. can't even reach up to check her pulse, his own thundering through his temples. first zack, then --
god, not his sister. not her. he's been a poor friend and a worse brother, but this is too much, beyond all boundaries of rationality or fairness. she's only a kid. she still looks at him the same way as she had when they were children, when he'd been a brother to her rather than a distant figure on the horizon. ]
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but then he'd surprised rin, and he'd continued to surprise rin up until the very end. up until now, where rin now stands with a clenched hand and a clenched heart, both singular, both terrible in their singularity, and finds no words. he takes a step back, hand to his forehead, and tries to pick words from the maelstrom, from the pain, from the lingering smell of charred meat. nothing comes but plumes of smoke.
rin takes another step backwards --
-- and nearly trips over a lolling form, too soft to be a protruding root. he glances behind himself, startled, only to catch sight of a river of blood --
but even that's melodrama, because it's only his sister's hair, spread in a bright banner across the ground. he forgets about the argument with rei all at once, dropping to his knees and nearly biting through his lip when the ensuing ripple of motion sends pain shooting outwards from its epicenter.
his palm flat to the ground, breath after breath drawn in and forced outwards.
he can't do anything. can't even reach up to check her pulse, his own thundering through his temples. first zack, then --
god, not his sister. not her. he's been a poor friend and a worse brother, but this is too much, beyond all boundaries of rationality or fairness. she's only a kid. she still looks at him the same way as she had when they were children, when he'd been a brother to her rather than a distant figure on the horizon. ]
Rei. [ it's a whisper. its repetition a roar. ]