[for a moment, roxas gives mary little more than a puzzled look. it's hard to know if what he said helps her at all when she's not looking his way, not to mention the fact that he really has no idea what he's doing.
saying what he would want to hear in that situation... would that be enough? he can't tell. it's one of the many things that makes it hard for him to deal with people that have hearts. even if they feel similar to the members of the organization in some respects, living with falsified emotions based on memories of having a heart and actually having a heart are two different things. and roxas knows... well, he knows that his actual knowledge of hearts and what they mean in miniscule in comparison to what a heart can feel. and what's the difference between what they feel and what he feels? because he knows he's felt fear and pain, despair and concern, genuine laughter and elation too.
and that's exactly why everything that follows leaves him to have no idea what to do. he's confused as she clasps his hands (and it feels further strange when his hands are bare as they are right now). but when she says those words—"Roxas... you're you"—, his breath hitches in his throat a bit. his eyes widen with total surprise.
nobody has ever said those words to him before.
he's said them himself, he's tried to convince himself and others around him that he was nobody but himself, but it's an argument that falls flat as a memory-less nobody who was someone else, once. it brings a certain sort of overwhelming tightness to his chest... what is this feeling? roxas isn't sure, but he remains in a stunned silence for a moment.
even though he's not sure if he can agree outright, or take her word for what it is when she doesn't actually know anything about what kind of being he is, hearing those words... they make him happy. maybe not the happiest he could be, but this has been his greatest struggle over these last few months he's existed, and she's validating it as something.
would it change if she knew the truth? it's possible, but roxas isn't ready to find out yet. the barest smile reaches his lips, but there's still something bittersweet and melancholic in his expression as she says that.]
Thanks, Mary. [he pauses, trying to gather his thoughts and say something that shows his appreciation. but his mind is still blank from how unexpected this was.] I know... it complicated. Being different, being "special." But... maybe sometimes, it's not so bad. It's okay right now, I think.
[surprise, he's still terrible at conveying his thoughts into words. he needs to think about them for a while—if they ever get back to the colony, maybe he'll be able to write it out in his diary and try to piece something together that actually makes sense.]
no subject
saying what he would want to hear in that situation... would that be enough? he can't tell. it's one of the many things that makes it hard for him to deal with people that have hearts. even if they feel similar to the members of the organization in some respects, living with falsified emotions based on memories of having a heart and actually having a heart are two different things. and roxas knows... well, he knows that his actual knowledge of hearts and what they mean in miniscule in comparison to what a heart can feel. and what's the difference between what they feel and what he feels? because he knows he's felt fear and pain, despair and concern, genuine laughter and elation too.
and that's exactly why everything that follows leaves him to have no idea what to do. he's confused as she clasps his hands (and it feels further strange when his hands are bare as they are right now). but when she says those words—"Roxas... you're you"—, his breath hitches in his throat a bit. his eyes widen with total surprise.
nobody has ever said those words to him before.
he's said them himself, he's tried to convince himself and others around him that he was nobody but himself, but it's an argument that falls flat as a memory-less nobody who was someone else, once. it brings a certain sort of overwhelming tightness to his chest... what is this feeling? roxas isn't sure, but he remains in a stunned silence for a moment.
even though he's not sure if he can agree outright, or take her word for what it is when she doesn't actually know anything about what kind of being he is, hearing those words... they make him happy. maybe not the happiest he could be, but this has been his greatest struggle over these last few months he's existed, and she's validating it as something.
would it change if she knew the truth? it's possible, but roxas isn't ready to find out yet. the barest smile reaches his lips, but there's still something bittersweet and melancholic in his expression as she says that.]
Thanks, Mary. [he pauses, trying to gather his thoughts and say something that shows his appreciation. but his mind is still blank from how unexpected this was.] I know... it complicated. Being different, being "special." But... maybe sometimes, it's not so bad. It's okay right now, I think.
[surprise, he's still terrible at conveying his thoughts into words. he needs to think about them for a while—if they ever get back to the colony, maybe he'll be able to write it out in his diary and try to piece something together that actually makes sense.]