[She blinks, a little startled by the question, since it wasn't one of the few she'd been running over in her head and preparing herself for.
As such, it actually gives her pause to consider. Perhaps a normal person would have said, 'yes!' outright, because the idea that one had to stop and think about it would imply, in and of itself, that she wasn't.
It's not that she isn't, but it's more complicated than that and she wants to make sure she's giving an honest answer.]
It is... difficult, to see them in tanks. [Not a good start, she supposes, but it's the honest one she's always promised to give. She steps away from Adolf then, moving closer to place her hands flat against the glass surface of Sparky's home. Her face is kept carefully neutral, eyes staring into the water.]
I was kept in one for a long, long time. I do not know if it is better or worse to have known freedom for so long beforehand, or to have never known anything but this. You cannot miss what you never had-- I have heard that said before. But I have also heard, 'it is better to have loved and lost, than to never love at all.' When I think of such things, it makes my heart hurt.
The scientists wanted to breed me. [She says it quick, blunt-- she never brought it up before with, well, anyone because how does one come back from that?] I do not know what they would have done when I refused. [because of course she would have] Not that they would have found a merman. They are not so careless and too protected to have gotten caught. I was stupid. [A self-deprecating smile and she shakes her head a little.]
Perhaps they would only catch another mermaid. Perhaps they would have no use for me. Being here makes me think, 'could I have ended up somewhere like this?' Would I be nearly as content as these creatures? Would I settle for 'this is enough'?
[That word again. 'Enough.' It's both a word of comfort and fear; of settling, of growing too content and not bothering to save herself anymore. Her fingers curl lightly against the glass.
Sparky lets out another zap, sending a text up on the screen that just reads 'BAM!' But it catches Oona's attention and she steps back to look at the screen, smiling despite herself.
Gosh, all of that sounds like such a downer, huh?]
I am not as upset as I thought I would be. I thought I would hate this, but... I do not. It brings up bad thoughts at times, and bad memories. I am afraid someone will somehow... notice, that I will be put behind glass again.
[Oona turns to face him then, holding her hands behind her back in a surprisingly confident stance despite her admission of all her insecurities here] But I am not alone. You are here, so I feel safe. If I was alone, I do not think I could do this. But you ask me questions about the fish. You listen. You care, and I know that. [She tilts her head slightly with an expression that seems to say 'don't even try to deny it right now.']
You being here turned an experience that would have been much, much worse to something better.
So yes, I am having fun. I have not laughed so hard I have cried in-- many years. [A pause in her speech, because 'many years' is such an understatement, jesus christ.
Her expression softens as does her tone.] Thank you. [As if, somehow, he's the reason for all of it. Another smile and she repeats herself with more finality:] I am having fun and I am even looking forward to seeing more.
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As such, it actually gives her pause to consider. Perhaps a normal person would have said, 'yes!' outright, because the idea that one had to stop and think about it would imply, in and of itself, that she wasn't.
It's not that she isn't, but it's more complicated than that and she wants to make sure she's giving an honest answer.]
It is... difficult, to see them in tanks. [Not a good start, she supposes, but it's the honest one she's always promised to give. She steps away from Adolf then, moving closer to place her hands flat against the glass surface of Sparky's home. Her face is kept carefully neutral, eyes staring into the water.]
I was kept in one for a long, long time. I do not know if it is better or worse to have known freedom for so long beforehand, or to have never known anything but this. You cannot miss what you never had-- I have heard that said before. But I have also heard, 'it is better to have loved and lost, than to never love at all.' When I think of such things, it makes my heart hurt.
The scientists wanted to breed me. [She says it quick, blunt-- she never brought it up before with, well, anyone because how does one come back from that?] I do not know what they would have done when I refused. [because of course she would have] Not that they would have found a merman. They are not so careless and too protected to have gotten caught. I was stupid. [A self-deprecating smile and she shakes her head a little.]
Perhaps they would only catch another mermaid. Perhaps they would have no use for me. Being here makes me think, 'could I have ended up somewhere like this?' Would I be nearly as content as these creatures? Would I settle for 'this is enough'?
[That word again. 'Enough.' It's both a word of comfort and fear; of settling, of growing too content and not bothering to save herself anymore. Her fingers curl lightly against the glass.
Sparky lets out another zap, sending a text up on the screen that just reads 'BAM!' But it catches Oona's attention and she steps back to look at the screen, smiling despite herself.
Gosh, all of that sounds like such a downer, huh?]
I am not as upset as I thought I would be. I thought I would hate this, but... I do not. It brings up bad thoughts at times, and bad memories. I am afraid someone will somehow... notice, that I will be put behind glass again.
[Oona turns to face him then, holding her hands behind her back in a surprisingly confident stance despite her admission of all her insecurities here] But I am not alone. You are here, so I feel safe. If I was alone, I do not think I could do this. But you ask me questions about the fish. You listen. You care, and I know that. [She tilts her head slightly with an expression that seems to say 'don't even try to deny it right now.']
You being here turned an experience that would have been much, much worse to something better.
So yes, I am having fun. I have not laughed so hard I have cried in-- many years. [A pause in her speech, because 'many years' is such an understatement, jesus christ.
Her expression softens as does her tone.] Thank you. [As if, somehow, he's the reason for all of it. Another smile and she repeats herself with more finality:] I am having fun and I am even looking forward to seeing more.