[By the time they make it to the shore, Leon's more aware of himself; by the time they're that far away from the water, he's aware of himself enough to feel embarrassed by what he sees as an overreaction. It's not, of course. He died in that same way, so it's only natural to react like that. But to Leon Magnus, it's a weakness, and an overreaction, and he feels sheepish for it, like he's somehow become the weakling he never wanted to be.
Stahn helps him sit down, and speaks like that, and Leon bristles. It's weaker than usual, admittedly, but even so it's prickly, and sharp, and harsh. All of the feelings of inadequacy, all of his uncertainty... it all goes into his words.]
Don't coddle me!
[That's one thing he cannot stand. Stahn's care, in this filter, turns to pity. Stahn's worry becomes condescension. And Leon can't take it, because to him, that's the one thing he's been shown to be throughout that entire nightmare. Weak, weak, weak.
He brushes wet hair from his face in a frustrated, jerky movement and finally meets Stahn's eyes, glare fierce--
But there's only pure worry there, and it's Stahn, and he has to look away a moment later, because he knows Stahn would never be condescending towards him. He's projecting. And he's already messed this up, because he still never wanted this meeting to happen, and yet...what can he do now about it? How is he supposed to face Stahn, when his own treachery had caused them so much heartache and suffering?
He can't. And he's still shaking slightly despite himself, and he's so incredibly weak after all, isn't he?]
no subject
Stahn helps him sit down, and speaks like that, and Leon bristles. It's weaker than usual, admittedly, but even so it's prickly, and sharp, and harsh. All of the feelings of inadequacy, all of his uncertainty... it all goes into his words.]
Don't coddle me!
[That's one thing he cannot stand. Stahn's care, in this filter, turns to pity. Stahn's worry becomes condescension. And Leon can't take it, because to him, that's the one thing he's been shown to be throughout that entire nightmare. Weak, weak, weak.
He brushes wet hair from his face in a frustrated, jerky movement and finally meets Stahn's eyes, glare fierce--
But there's only pure worry there, and it's Stahn, and he has to look away a moment later, because he knows Stahn would never be condescending towards him. He's projecting. And he's already messed this up, because he still never wanted this meeting to happen, and yet...what can he do now about it? How is he supposed to face Stahn, when his own treachery had caused them so much heartache and suffering?
He can't. And he's still shaking slightly despite himself, and he's so incredibly weak after all, isn't he?]