[It's agonizing, really. Stahn is full of so much conviction, but Leon doesn't understand it. Why would this be such an important thing to Stahn? Sure, he supposes they were able to reach some sort of... friendship understanding during their trip together, but even so, that's not enough he thinks for something like this. A reaction like this... it's too much, and Leon feels incredibly uncomfortable. He feels... like he's at fault here, and his shoulders hunch defensively, even as he bites back.]
"Nobody wants that"? I understand that you are so stupidly soft-hearted as to think anyone dying is sad [and it's the first time he's said that word out loud, "dying", and for a moment his breath catches. He'd thought he was resigned. Where is this all coming from?] but you don't have to make such ridiculous claims.
[Nobody wanted him dead? That's bullshit, and Leon knows it. He did so many terrible things to bring them to that point. He ruined his career, he murdered his...yes, his friend, the captain he'd gotten promoted was his friend, and he'd set into motion the end of the world.
It didn't matter that he had his reasons.
These were still things he did, and he doesn't deserve anything less than death for it. In a way, death had been atonement, and now that's been stripped away from him, and he's left realizing that he has to deal with the consequences of his actions, and it's terrifying.]
I don't...I don't have any reason to trust you! [Besides their entire journey, and Stahn on watch, making sure they were all safe. Besides Stahn shoving him out of the way of a monster, making sure he was safe. Besides Stahn never doing anything for an ulterior reason, but simply because he was Stahn and that was what he did.
He has every reason to trust Stahn, but he tries to push him away anyway. This is for Stahn's own good anyway in the end.]
Don't act as though it was a--a mistake-- [Because it was. It was a mistake, to not trust in Stahn and the others, and to try to save Marian on his own. But he hadn't thought he'd had any other option. He'd been so desperate, and he'd failed so badly, but even so...
Even so, don't make him think that the events leading up to his death were a mistake. Don't make him think that the choices he made, not all of them, were a mistake. His throat closes up, and he can't get any more words out, but he doesn't have any more anyway.
At least one of those mistakes had to be right, and Leon knows which one he thinks it is. It was when he pulled that lever, and he can't stand the thought of treating that as a mistake on top of every single other mistake he made.]
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friendshipunderstanding during their trip together, but even so, that's not enough he thinks for something like this. A reaction like this... it's too much, and Leon feels incredibly uncomfortable. He feels... like he's at fault here, and his shoulders hunch defensively, even as he bites back.]"Nobody wants that"? I understand that you are so stupidly soft-hearted as to think anyone dying is sad [and it's the first time he's said that word out loud, "dying", and for a moment his breath catches. He'd thought he was resigned. Where is this all coming from?] but you don't have to make such ridiculous claims.
[Nobody wanted him dead? That's bullshit, and Leon knows it. He did so many terrible things to bring them to that point. He ruined his career, he murdered his...yes, his friend, the captain he'd gotten promoted was his friend, and he'd set into motion the end of the world.
It didn't matter that he had his reasons.
These were still things he did, and he doesn't deserve anything less than death for it. In a way, death had been atonement, and now that's been stripped away from him, and he's left realizing that he has to deal with the consequences of his actions, and it's terrifying.]
I don't...I don't have any reason to trust you! [Besides their entire journey, and Stahn on watch, making sure they were all safe. Besides Stahn shoving him out of the way of a monster, making sure he was safe. Besides Stahn never doing anything for an ulterior reason, but simply because he was Stahn and that was what he did.
He has every reason to trust Stahn, but he tries to push him away anyway. This is for Stahn's own good anyway in the end.]
Don't act as though it was a--a mistake-- [Because it was. It was a mistake, to not trust in Stahn and the others, and to try to save Marian on his own. But he hadn't thought he'd had any other option. He'd been so desperate, and he'd failed so badly, but even so...
Even so, don't make him think that the events leading up to his death were a mistake. Don't make him think that the choices he made, not all of them, were a mistake. His throat closes up, and he can't get any more words out, but he doesn't have any more anyway.
At least one of those mistakes had to be right, and Leon knows which one he thinks it is. It was when he pulled that lever, and he can't stand the thought of treating that as a mistake on top of every single other mistake he made.]