[Stahn says it with such ferocity, but also with such disbelief, as if it should be obvious. That it should be obvious that people mourned his death. That is should be obvious that they'd miss him after the fact.
It was never obvious at all to him, and even now, he doesn't understand it. They had no reason to miss him. He betrayed them all, and that was after a journey in which he did little but belittle them and shove them all away. They weren't friends. They were comrades of convenience, and nothing more, and... they had no reason to miss him. And Rutee-- well. What does blood mean, when there's no attachment there?
(Then why did he tell her, at the end of everything?
...He's not sure.)
He flinches at the final name, though. Marian... His voice is choked, too choked to be as properly harsh as he'd like it to be. And an echo of that one time, so long ago--]
Don't say her name so easily! [Don't say her name to him... not when he'd given up everything for her, and not when he has to admit now, now that he's dead and couldn't do a damned thing to save her--] She would be better off without me anyway!
[That much is something that can't be argued. Because Hugo hired her to keep a leash on him, she was kidnapped. She was subjected to such a terrifying situation. And because of him, she even tried to....
He huddles in on himself a little bit more, as if in some subconscious way to protect himself from everything around him (but it's a little too late for that, isn't it?)]
I don't want it! [What does he have left anyway? He threw away his career under Hugo's orders. He's a traitor in the eyes of everyone now. Marian would be better off with him dead. The others would save the world. He doesn't even have a reason to have a second chance, and he doesn't want it.
Something like that... it's more than he deserves, and he almost wishes he was dead right now.] So stop...stop trying to help me!
[A short breath, and he tries to shove himself to his feet. It's shaky; his legs barely want to support him after everything.]
I don't want your help. I don't want your chances. Get it through your thick head!
no subject
It was never obvious at all to him, and even now, he doesn't understand it. They had no reason to miss him. He betrayed them all, and that was after a journey in which he did little but belittle them and shove them all away. They weren't friends. They were comrades of convenience, and nothing more, and... they had no reason to miss him. And Rutee-- well. What does blood mean, when there's no attachment there?
(Then why did he tell her, at the end of everything?
...He's not sure.)
He flinches at the final name, though. Marian... His voice is choked, too choked to be as properly harsh as he'd like it to be. And an echo of that one time, so long ago--]
Don't say her name so easily! [Don't say her name to him... not when he'd given up everything for her, and not when he has to admit now, now that he's dead and couldn't do a damned thing to save her--] She would be better off without me anyway!
[That much is something that can't be argued. Because Hugo hired her to keep a leash on him, she was kidnapped. She was subjected to such a terrifying situation. And because of him, she even tried to....
He huddles in on himself a little bit more, as if in some subconscious way to protect himself from everything around him (but it's a little too late for that, isn't it?)]
I don't want it! [What does he have left anyway? He threw away his career under Hugo's orders. He's a traitor in the eyes of everyone now. Marian would be better off with him dead. The others would save the world. He doesn't even have a reason to have a second chance, and he doesn't want it.
Something like that... it's more than he deserves, and he almost wishes he was dead right now.] So stop...stop trying to help me!
[A short breath, and he tries to shove himself to his feet. It's shaky; his legs barely want to support him after everything.]
I don't want your help. I don't want your chances. Get it through your thick head!
[He's dead, and they're all better off that way.]