When Stahn grabs his wrist, he's tempted to try to jerk away, and to really walk away--he doesn't want Stahn touching him right now, and he's irritated at the very thought (on top of everything else, or maybe this feeling is stemming from everything after all), but then Stahn speaks, and...
He really can't breathe.
It'd really figure, wouldn't it? In the end, it was Stahn who saved Marian, and not him. In the end, maybe if he'd asked for Stahn's help-- ...but even in the midst of his darker thoughts, it's pure, pure relief. Marian was safe. They had saved her. She wouldn't be harmed, she wouldn't have to be hurt for Leon's sake, and for his own terrible decisions, and all because he'd cared about her.
He shuts his eyes tightly as Stahn continues, and then he crumples. She was going back home...to wait for him? Why would she do that? It was her duty, sure, but she should have known...she should have known he wasn't coming back. She shouldn't waste her life there. Marian is a beautiful person who deserves only the best out of life, and he doesn't want her to be stuck there all alone, waiting for him again, and he crumples to the ground again when his legs won't support him, head bowed, still-wet hair hiding his face.]
Why...
[Why would she do that...? Why would she waste her life like that? Why did he bring so much pain and suffering and trouble onto her, even after his death?
Why couldn't she just be free of him?]
Why would she...
[He can't breathe, and his shoulders slump, posture so completely defeated. With a situation like this... What is he even supposed to do anymore?]
no subject
When Stahn grabs his wrist, he's tempted to try to jerk away, and to really walk away--he doesn't want Stahn touching him right now, and he's irritated at the very thought (on top of everything else, or maybe this feeling is stemming from everything after all), but then Stahn speaks, and...
He really can't breathe.
It'd really figure, wouldn't it? In the end, it was Stahn who saved Marian, and not him. In the end, maybe if he'd asked for Stahn's help-- ...but even in the midst of his darker thoughts, it's pure, pure relief. Marian was safe. They had saved her. She wouldn't be harmed, she wouldn't have to be hurt for Leon's sake, and for his own terrible decisions, and all because he'd cared about her.
He shuts his eyes tightly as Stahn continues, and then he crumples. She was going back home...to wait for him? Why would she do that? It was her duty, sure, but she should have known...she should have known he wasn't coming back. She shouldn't waste her life there. Marian is a beautiful person who deserves only the best out of life, and he doesn't want her to be stuck there all alone, waiting for him again, and he crumples to the ground again when his legs won't support him, head bowed, still-wet hair hiding his face.]
Why...
[Why would she do that...? Why would she waste her life like that? Why did he bring so much pain and suffering and trouble onto her, even after his death?
Why couldn't she just be free of him?]
Why would she...
[He can't breathe, and his shoulders slump, posture so completely defeated. With a situation like this... What is he even supposed to do anymore?]