[For a moment Souji painfully clutches his hands in his lap, pushes them down so they won't visibly shake as he allows Kashuu to leave the room for a moment. He's such a child about this, honestly. He always has been, always will be. He remembers his own lack of understanding as Yamanami had run away, how he'd childishly thought that he could just get him to come back and somehow that would fix everything. It's not made better by the fact that he still doesn't quite understand why it didn't work, why it couldn't be put together like a broken toy - fixed as easily as he had been fixed, once upon a time.

He can't just put this back together again either, no matter how much he wants to, and even though he still doesn't quite understand why.

Suddenly, it's as if he's aware all at once of how much older Kashuu is, and how young and frail he is by comparison. He's twenty-four soon, and back home he's probably never going to get older. It makes him feel small and insignificant - just a wink of existence next to Kashuu's, next to Yamato's. Not much compared to other human beings either.]

Mm, no. More like... getting drunk, you know? At home they said it was part of growing up, but I guess I never really did. [And now he's telling the truth even though he really, really shouldn't. Not even a small part. It's hard to bite down on the words and smile at the same time.] I've always been kind of childish in some ways.