[It's just a light, noncommittal touch... and it's not enough. Souji feels like he's about to snap into a thousand pieces, like somehow a crack is going to run through him like it had through Kashuu and break him just as easily. He should have a real body made of metal too, because somehow he can't live without someone telling him what to do, wielding him.
It's not enough, and though he knows that it still won't fix anything, that he can't hold the world together with his hands alone, he still falls for it. Like he'd gone to the smithy to get Kashuu put back together even though he'd known that there was no way of doing it. Like he'd run after Yamanami. Like he'd begged Hijikata not to look, as if it wouldn't be real as long as he didn't see.
That's what he manages to think before his forehead is against Kashuu's shoulder and his hands are closed in frantic fists around the front of his shirt. A sharp smell of alcohol tells him he's knocked over the bottle, and he doesn't care. He holds on, terrified of the moment when he'll be asked to let go, but nonetheless not regretting giving in for a moment. He needs to hold on. What else can he do?]
it's true... hangs head admits to everything
It's not enough, and though he knows that it still won't fix anything, that he can't hold the world together with his hands alone, he still falls for it. Like he'd gone to the smithy to get Kashuu put back together even though he'd known that there was no way of doing it. Like he'd run after Yamanami. Like he'd begged Hijikata not to look, as if it wouldn't be real as long as he didn't see.
That's what he manages to think before his forehead is against Kashuu's shoulder and his hands are closed in frantic fists around the front of his shirt. A sharp smell of alcohol tells him he's knocked over the bottle, and he doesn't care. He holds on, terrified of the moment when he'll be asked to let go, but nonetheless not regretting giving in for a moment. He needs to hold on. What else can he do?]
I'm sorry. I'm- I'm just... I just- [-need you.]