( OPEN )

[swordsitter]

Who: swordhaus + cr
When: throughout april
Where: the three apartments swordhaus uses..
What: april catch-all
Rating/Warning: probably nothing, but i'll edit as necessary.

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[ sword mafia at home. ]

Comments

[horsepoop]

It's alright.

[Namazuo smiles, gently, but it doesn't penetrate the serious look in his eyes. And yet--]

You don't have to explain to me.

[He gets it. It's terrible and definitely not something he should be enabling, but... he gets it. His own problems are emotional in nature, but he knows what it's like to hide something serious, to keep your loved ones from worrying. He shouldn't let this go, but he understands too well.

A part of him knows what denial is like, too. To so desperately crave normalcy, to hate your reactions--whatever they may be--so much, you don't even want to face them yourself. He gets that too.

Stepping forward, he holds out his hands.]

Would you like me to take care of that?

[spes_phthisica]

[For a moment the tension in his shoulders remains, and then it slowly seeps away, and Souji lets out a gently scraping little sigh, slumping backwards in the sofa. He had been expecting well-meaning concern and being tattled on for his own good, but while he can tell that the former is there, the subsequent reaction is unexpectedly absent.

It's... a huge relief, really.

He offers a smile that is bleak, but a lot more genuine than the chipper face of a man trying to hold everything together.]

Would you? I'd really appreciate it if you did.

[He bites his lower lip, then adds:]

It's not that I don't understand that people worry, but... if possible, I want to spare them for a little while, see?

[That's only a half truth. There are more twisted, complicated reasons for wanting to cover this up, one of them being that he likes the worry and care just a little too much, and another being that he's still terrified that one day it will somehow run out. It's one big mess of guilt and affection - not to mention the ever-present fear of being selfish, and the less attention he has to draw to it, the better.]

So... thank you. It means a lot - but maybe you already know that.

[horsepoop]

[Namazuo doesn't nod, or laugh, or do anything that might lighten the mood. He takes the pillow quietly, and though his expression is serious and sad, there's no judgement.

It's not his place to intefere. Souji isn't his master. Kashuu and Yamato are his comrades, part of his new family, but... he understands Souji's feelings better than either of them would probably prefer. Okita's swords both know the truth, of course. But what would be the point of reminding them?

Namazuo wants them to be happy. And if quietly pretending things aren't so bad will spare them a little longer, that's what he'll do.

Still, he's old. He isn't naive enough to think that this is a good thing. So after a moment, he shakes his head.]

Don't thank me, Okita-san. Please.

[But if there's anything he's good at, it's lifting the mood. So he takes a deep breath, tucking the pillow under his arm.]

I'll take care of this and bring you some tea, so please rest until I come back, okay? [Now he smiles, though it's tentative, like he isn't sure he should be doing it.] I saw a movie on the television that you might like, if you want to watch it until I come back.