( OPEN )

[swordsitter]

Who: swordhaus + cr
When: throughout april
Where: the three apartments swordhaus uses..
What: april catch-all
Rating/Warning: probably nothing, but i'll edit as necessary.

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[ sword mafia at home. ]

Comments

[newtimes]

( His master never tried to recruit Okita but... he can't say that he's surprised to hear that in some universe out there, his master tried. Everyone deserved a chance. The world he wanted to make was a world for all of Japan and so everyone deserved a chance to share a hand in it.

One thing he's admired about Souji is the respect he gives Ryouma. And certainly, Mutsu wouldn't mind talking about his former master with him but this feels different. This isn't a quickly and casual conversation. He can't control this and laugh things off in good spirit while maintaining his usual sort of distance. No, this feels... personal. It feels too much like their first conversation which left him with that hard feeling in his throat and his eyes watering. He's always loved to talk about Ryouma to anyone who would listen but it's different when someone else is doing the talking. It makes him so very nostalgic...

With one hand, he reaches to remove Souji's hand from his clothes, trying to gently make his escape, )

That's the kind of guy he was. ( Just... that kind of guy. ) Never drew a weapon unless he had to...

Never cut anyone...

( Was that last part about Ryouma or himself? Maybe both. )

Listen, ya should rest.

hooooly shit, I thought I had replied her? ugh

[spes_phthisica]

[He does let go when Mutsu actually grabs his hand, taking his own back and then just sort of sitting there with it half raised in a strangely childish posture. It's pretty clear from the way he's blinking slowly up at Mutsu that he really isn't all there at this point, his mind run ragged both by the fever and the erratic sleep he's been getting. At first, Mutsu's face really does seem to phase in and out of the familiar image of Sakamoto, but then Souji can see that clearly the man is standing behind his back. And of course he's somehow lucid enough to be aware that he's not really there, but not nearly lucid enough to see what difference it makes.

He meets the gaze of the hallucination briefly, and the Ryouma sighs and shakes his head.]

Nnnoooo... I never ever saw him draw you, you know? Well, I guess you do - your master wasn't any different, right?

[He shakes his head, and the movement causes him to sway slightly.]

Even though I pulled my sword at him so many times, attacked him, tried to kill him... he'd block with his gun if he had to, or once with a rock in his hand, things like that.

I always thought- I thought... I was taught that you should never draw your sword unless you're prepared to kill. And I thought maybe he was just never prepared for killing to be the only way to solve things. That's pretty amazing.

[The Ryouma that isn't there is right behind Mutsu now, watching him with this strange mixture of pride and... not quite regret, but something close to it, and Souji doesn't even think before he asks:]

Were you ever ready to... I mean, at the end, did you draw your sword - huh, Ryouma-san? [If he was in possession of all his wits, he'd never ask a question like this - he isn't that cruel. But there it is. His eyes are obviously staring past Mutsu, glazed over and strangely bright all at once, with compassion and with wistfulness in equal measure.]

[newtimes]

( It doesn't go unnoticed and Mutsu leans back. He... doesn't want to be here right now. He's got this bad feeling in his gut that if he stays here any longer, something is going to happen. Lips tight, breath held, eyebrows knit closely together, he's following this conversation but he doesn't like where it's going. It's too close, too personal, and something he doesn't want to talk about and is fine with keeping silent. After all, he kept quiet all of those years, right? Unable to talk to anyone at all... and now that he has this body, the means to communicate? He didn't need to talk about it anymore. He doesn't want to.

Souji sways and he doesn't move. He can't. He doesn't want to get any closer. More than anything he just wants to get away. Far, far, far away from the Shinsengumi. In his mind, he's just thinking, "this is why." This is exactly why he doesn't want to get close to these guys. Because it's wrong. It's not right.

And then he crosses a line. Souji crosses that line and there's a piercing pain in his side. Crossing that line is an offense so when Mutsu reacts, its self-defense. He lashes out, both hands on Souji's shoulders and pushing him back hard. )

It's none of your business. ( Whether or not he was drawn. Whether or not Ryouma did anything. It's none of his business. ) It's got nothin` to do with any of you guys so keep it that way!

( The pain in his side doesn't compare to this all encompassing pain in his chest right now. Yes, he's angry, but more than anything, he's so sad it hurts. )