[Barks out a humorless laugh, his fingers digging into Zoro's shoulder, because suddenly the answer seems pretty obvious. Wouldn't be the first time some really bizarre shit has happened around here, would it?]

Give you three guesses. If it ain't us, then...

[Knowing who or what is behind this doesn't make it any better, though. In fact, it just makes it worse because when this place fucks with them it seems to go on for awhile.

Sanji grimaces, and since staring at Zoro's ear is leaving him with a really uncomfortable urge to fiddle with his earrings for some goddamn reason, he glances back at Zoro to find he's closed his eye now. Not just him then, huh?]

Anything else...weird happen to you today? Maybe we can figure out what started this mess.

[And then find a way to end it? Somehow??

Sanji remembers to loosen his grip on Zoro's shoulder after a beat, though his hand seems to think that means it's time to curl behind him to where he can play with the short hairs on the back of Zoro's neck. Compared to the whole thing where he's straddling the other man, the action seems tame enough that he barely notices he's doing it.]