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Entry tags:

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Who: Shirou Emiya

projections & Sakura Matou

springful
When: directly after this
Where: Apartments
What: Shirou tells Sakura what's troubling him
Rating/Warning: PG13 ill change this later if i need to.

[Shirou's sitting on floor trying to sort the situation out in his mind. There's no more options for him left and now he has to tell Sakura what's bothering him. So much for keeping things to himself. He probably should have told her everything sooner. Woops.]

I give up. [ He puts his hand to his head and sighs.] I promised I'd tell you what's going on.

Sakura, are you ready to listen to me? You aren't going to like this.

[ Here goes nothing.]

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I'm fine, Senpai.

[She's still a little mad at him. Not only did he get into such a dangerous fight with a Servant, it happened while he was <>blind of all things. Why has it taken something like this to finally get him to say what's on his mind? Her hands would probably hurt from how tightly she had them balled into fists if the numbness from the ghost following her hadn't set in. She folds her arms, probably looking slightly reminiscent of her older sister.]

Tell me.

Alright, now listen well. Archer and I were just talking.

[Okay isn't exactly a lie but....that's putting things too lightly. He can't really see her folding her arms except he can tell. Sakura's going to chew him out alive if he doesn't say what's bothering him.]

It's nothing too serious.

You were fighting with Archer. I wouldn't call that "just talking". [SHE SAW ARCHER'S SWORDS MAN don't say he just had his out while Shirou had nothing... That'll only make things worse.]

Edited 2015-01-02 13:22 (UTC)

[She's catching on! Shirou isn't budging yet. He really wants to tell Sakura the truth, but it's hard. Ugh, why? ]

Archer's just stubborn. [This isn't going to get him anywhere either. ]

Don't tell me you're seriously mad....? Are you Sakura?

Of course I'm mad! [SHIROU what were you expecting... He's opened up the floodgates now.] You're in no condition to be walking around alone outside, let alone fighting a Servant of all things! What were you thinking? What if you'd gotten hurt, or worse?

[He isn't going to try and argue with that. Shirou's situation then got bad. There was no way he could have matched Archer back then.]

I didn't get hurt. It's okay, Sakura. I know that I'm the one at fault here so I'll apologize.

Edited 2015-01-02 14:08 (UTC)

... Alright. [She exhales, calming down a little. She still needs to hear the rest of this after all.] Why were you two fighting in the first place?

Archer and I have our differences. He can't easily get along with me. It...gets a little more complicated than that.

I didn't know how to tell you so I kept avoiding it. I should have said something earlier.

You really should have. [She sighs, but with that the last of her ire fades away. Listening to Shirou is more important right now.] But you'll tell me now, right? I understand not getting along with someone, but you always go beyond that when it comes to Archer.

I'll tell you now, Sakura. Do you remember?

I wanted to become a super hero but I threw that dream away. [Shirou's kind of mess because of it. There's still consequences to that decision, but he prefers things this way. Sakura's better than an ideal!]

What do you think would happen if I pursued my ideals instead?

["You would have killed me."

It's the first thought that comes to mind, but Sakura regrets it the moment she thinks of it. Even if it's true, it's petty and she knows it. She hates that she'd even think it to begin with. This isn't about her right now, so she can't be selfish like that.]

Hmm... I think you would've pursued them for the rest of your life. You're determined, so I think you would've continued to be a super hero up until the day you died.

[He already tried to kill her once before. It's not like he could actually do it...Shirou just isn't going to follow through on something so ridiculous.]

I would have done more than that and the problem lies there. [Shirou's in pain when he speaks of this. It saddens him to tell Sakura his troubles. She's got worries of her own. Shirou's trying his best to sound gentle. ]

Next I'd beg the planet for power and become a Counter Guardian. I'm not saying I'd do any of this. I just need you to understand.

Become a Counter Guardian? You really think you'd do that? [She knows what it is, but she didn't expect Shirou to say something like that, and with so much finality too. How does he know he would do that?]

[He nods firmly.]

I might have done that if I wanted to be a super hero. [He isn't going to do it. A life with ideals will leave him with nothing.] Archer's only fighting with me because he thinks I'll go down that path and be miserable.

Well, he's concerned because he's me from a different possible future. [Radio silence. Shirou has to finish explaining but this is still hard. Sakura's probably going to yell at him or something. He's ready for it.] Archer's identity is Heroic Spirit EMIYA.

The last thing he wants is for me to make the same choices as him. Can't say I blame him for it because I don't want to live that kind of life either. I'm happier with you. [literally cringing. Admitting to being Archer...gross. He's a result of a failure and Shirou doesn't want to say it. He never wanted things to come to this in the first place, but Sakura has to know.]

Sorry, Sakura. [What else can he say asides from an apology?] I've kept this from you for so long.

Archer is you?!

[WHOA WHOA WHOA give her a second to process here. She's still listening of course, but mostly her mind is reeling from that revelation. A possible future where Shirou not only continued to be a super hero, but became a Counter Guardian and even eventually a Heroic Spirit... It's hard to believe. (Mostly because Archer is a huge asshole, Senpai what happened to you!!)

Seeing Shirou's expression though, Sakura gently pulls him into a hug. She won't apologize for making him tell her, because even with as shocking as it is, it's something she definitely needed to hear about it. Still, that doesn't mean she wants him to be all torn up about it.]

It's alright. I'm just glad you finally told me, so... Thank you. [She knows it was hard for him. At least now they know where to move on from here.] And I know you'd never go down a path like that. We'll make sure of it.

[Shit happens when you pick a path and end up hating humanity! Sakura's hug makes Shirou feel better. He tries his best to relax while they're still like this.]

I refuse to live my life while losing everything precious to me. Nothing good will come out of following ideals. Sakura, you kept saying that I was the one who saved you but it was you who saved me. It's because of you that I was able to continue living without my ideals.

You stopped me from going down a crooked path. Thank you...Sakura.

Thank you. [He's crying tears of gratitude. We aren't going down the super senpai road.]

[She holds him tighter, gently smoothing his hair as she does so. Despite him thanking her for it, she wonders if it was really okay for her to make him give up his ideals. It was a selfish, calculated move on her part, and she knew that Shirou would suffer for it. Even now, he's suffering because of it. Maybe he would have become Archer if he stayed on that path, but maybe not. That was just one possibility. Maybe it would've gone differently in their world.

Was it really right for her to be thanked for this?

In the end though, whether it was right or wrong, she wouldn't regret this. She couldn't. If she began to regret how things turned out, then that would make everything that they went through meaningless. It would invalidate everything that had happened, and she just couldn't do that. More than that though... She's happy. Like this, with Shirou, she's happy. And despite the pain Shirou still goes through, she knows that he's happy like this too.]

You can't just give me all the credit. [She laughs lightly, but her voice is thick with choked back tears. Yeah, they're happy together, aren't they? They have to be. She'll make sure of it.] After all, you're the one who saved me first.

[One was saved from super depression and the other from becoming super senpai... Truly their darkest timeline has been avoided.]

[They're happy regardless of how much they've suffered in the past. Shirou's only looking forward now. He feels slightly stupid for keeping this from Sakura. She's here to support him and he's still thinks that he's being a burden on her. That really isn't the case so why was he so worried? ]

That's true. [He smiles and looks up at her fondly.]

Even so, I don't regret following this path. Archer might be Archer but I'm still me. I promise you that I won't turn out to become like that guy.

You better not. If you turn out to become like him, I'll get really mad.

[She says it lightly though, teasing. There's definitely no way Shirou could turn into Archer, not even slightly. He won't let it happen, and she definitely won't let it happen either.]

I won't ever let it come to that. Archer wanted to tell me that there are consequences to my actions. I know what lies at the end of his road.

We need to listen to his warnings.

I'll listen to Archer except I don't want to fight with him if it means you'll get involved. [He'll come up with some sort of plan to prevent this from happening in the future.]

I've decided that I'll speak with him.

It'd be better if you two just didn't fight to begin with... [If Shirou ends up in trouble, it's natural that she'd be there to support him. She's more worried about Shirou than herself in this.] Will you be alright talking to him?

I'll be fine. [He says so with confidence. This is what actually happens instead.]

I'm making you worry again, that's not good. [PULL YOUR SHIT TOGETHER SHIROU. He spanks himself once.]

Everything will be resolved once and for all, I'll swear on it. [He sighs and finally relaxes.] It's been a rough day. I'll speak with Archer some other time.

...

Are you tired, Sakura? You don't need to push yourself so hard. This is my problem with Archer.

Edited 2015-01-07 11:08 (UTC)

[Shirou.... At least he tried I guess................]

I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me. [Yeah you'd never guess there's a ghost drooling on her from how she's acting. The slight numbing sensation?? NOT EVEN A PROBLEM.] What about you though? You must be exhausted.

Are you sure? [It's not like he can see what's going on.]

You can speak to me anytime you have a problem. [No need to question Sakura again if she says she's fine.]

When you bring it up like that...yeah, maybe. I'm tired. [He's being honest. Sepai can't hide everything smh. ]

I fought a Servant without my sight. I might be in worse condition if you hadn't stopped me.

I know. If something comes up, I'll be sure to tell you.

[Maybe she would tell him about something like a weird saliva ghost another time, (spoilers: probably not still) but Shirou already has a lot on his plate. There's no need to worry him with even more things, right? That being her mindset, she decides to not mention a thing about it.]

Honestly, I can't imagine what you were thinking getting into a fight like that. If you need to get something from outside, just tell me; it wouldn't do us any good if you got lost as you are now. [Seriously what was he even doing outside... Senpai needs to take better care of himself!!] You should get some rest. I'll take care of dinner, so you can relax until then.

I'd appreciate it. I'd be a failure of a Senpai if I can't even take care of you. [Well...guess what Shirou.....spoilers: shes got a ghost on her too.]

Archer made me angry and you can imagine how it went from there. [She knows him by now tbh. Shirou's worst enemy is himself.]

There's that and I thought staying put wouldn't get me anywhere. Blindness doesn't slow me down that much, but if you insist. I'll stay put this time and leave you in charge of dinner.

Don't worry so much. You're already the best senpai possible to me. [Sakura that's because you're biased... With good reason but still biased.]

You're right. It's all too easy to picture. [a small sigh] Hopefully this won't happen again in the future after you talk to him... For now, just take a seat and wait. [He can't see her of course, but he can probably tell by the sound that she's putting on her apron.] I'll make tonight's dinner one of my best yet!

I'll try my best and relax. Sorry for not being able to help out more.

In my current state I'd have a hard time recognizing which ingredients are which. [In other words, you're useless.] And I don't want to break any plates.

I'll leave dinner to you and knowing you're making it puts me at ease. It'll be worth waiting for.

[Shirou stretches his arms and flops down somewhere. ]

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