[ Every single muscle in his body feels tense as hell, honestly - like he's about to burst and his body doesn't know what to do with all the energy it forces into existence. His hand forms a fist and shakes, knuckles white from how tightly he's pressing it. It makes it seem like a moment as if Shinpachi is going to hit Sano before the other guy even asks for it.
But he doesn't. Not yet, anyway. He manages to keep the anger boiling just inwardly enough that he isn't being completely violent on the outside just yet, although he's still threading a very thin line here. His temper might not be lightning fast like Sano's, but the moment it starts boiling, it boils and everyone knows it.
But instead comes the offer from Sano. And his hand.
And Shinpachi has never seen that hand and thought twice about grabbing it. Whether it was because they were sparring, because Sano was too much of a lazy ass to get up in the morning (although that was usually more often the other way around), because Sano was too drunk to get up, because they had been arguing just like now and got into a physical fight over it.. no matter when it was, he's always grabbed that hand right away. Because it's Sano, his best friend, the person who's always understood him the most. How couldn't he?
But now he just stares at it for a moment or two, feeling like there's lead in his stomach. If Sano didn't tell him about these things, then what other things hasn't he told him about? It's true that Sano doesn't talk about himself, but.. it's more of a fact than something Shinpachi consciously realised before. He had always been so busy talking about himself and his problems that it never really occurred much to him that Sano told relatively little in return whenever there was a different topic.
But this is a very direct way of making him think about it. It feels more like he's been punched in the fact, honestly. Because he didn't realise all this time, and he can't even make up a single excuse for it, since it's just a fact that he didn't realise since he never really thought about it. Even at the moments when he did ask Sano if something was wrong or up, the other had never really told him, so he just assumed everything would be fine, but.. without realising it, something like this still cropped up.
After that moment of hesitation, he does grab the hand, pulling the redhead up until he's standing on both feet again, and then lets go.
But no punch follows.
Because Sano is right - Shinpachi has two kinds of anger. And if it was the first, he would have decked Sano right in the face for all of this. But it's not - it's the second. He's not as much angry as he's hurt that his friend would keep stuff from him, even if it's for a reason like that, he's not as much angry as he's mad at himself for never even really thinking much of it until now. ]
Is it really gonna change anything if I punch you?
[ Usually, maybe. Usually they always solve their arguments like this, by just punching it out. It's a way of life. ]
Whether I punch you or not.. it ain't like you're ever gonna tell me more, right? [ His voice doesn't sound more calm than just now though, even though he's not yelling anymore - his tone is still louder than the average tone would be, but that's it. But even so, there's a layer of anger underneath it that seems like it could burst out any moment. A layer of hurt. His voice practically shakes.
Because it means that even if Sano is ever hurting, he can't do a goddamn thing about it since he won't know, and that stings for someone who's so morally rigid - even when it comes to friendship and doing what's right for those. ]
No matter what happens.. I'm gonna look like a moron.
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But he doesn't. Not yet, anyway. He manages to keep the anger boiling just inwardly enough that he isn't being completely violent on the outside just yet, although he's still threading a very thin line here. His temper might not be lightning fast like Sano's, but the moment it starts boiling, it boils and everyone knows it.
But instead comes the offer from Sano. And his hand.
And Shinpachi has never seen that hand and thought twice about grabbing it. Whether it was because they were sparring, because Sano was too much of a lazy ass to get up in the morning (although that was usually more often the other way around), because Sano was too drunk to get up, because they had been arguing just like now and got into a physical fight over it.. no matter when it was, he's always grabbed that hand right away. Because it's Sano, his best friend, the person who's always understood him the most. How couldn't he?
But now he just stares at it for a moment or two, feeling like there's lead in his stomach. If Sano didn't tell him about these things, then what other things hasn't he told him about? It's true that Sano doesn't talk about himself, but.. it's more of a fact than something Shinpachi consciously realised before. He had always been so busy talking about himself and his problems that it never really occurred much to him that Sano told relatively little in return whenever there was a different topic.
But this is a very direct way of making him think about it. It feels more like he's been punched in the fact, honestly. Because he didn't realise all this time, and he can't even make up a single excuse for it, since it's just a fact that he didn't realise since he never really thought about it. Even at the moments when he did ask Sano if something was wrong or up, the other had never really told him, so he just assumed everything would be fine, but.. without realising it, something like this still cropped up.
After that moment of hesitation, he does grab the hand, pulling the redhead up until he's standing on both feet again, and then lets go.
But no punch follows.
Because Sano is right - Shinpachi has two kinds of anger. And if it was the first, he would have decked Sano right in the face for all of this. But it's not - it's the second. He's not as much angry as he's hurt that his friend would keep stuff from him, even if it's for a reason like that, he's not as much angry as he's mad at himself for never even really thinking much of it until now. ]
Is it really gonna change anything if I punch you?
[ Usually, maybe. Usually they always solve their arguments like this, by just punching it out. It's a way of life. ]
Whether I punch you or not.. it ain't like you're ever gonna tell me more, right? [ His voice doesn't sound more calm than just now though, even though he's not yelling anymore - his tone is still louder than the average tone would be, but that's it. But even so, there's a layer of anger underneath it that seems like it could burst out any moment. A layer of hurt. His voice practically shakes.
Because it means that even if Sano is ever hurting, he can't do a goddamn thing about it since he won't know, and that stings for someone who's so morally rigid - even when it comes to friendship and doing what's right for those. ]
No matter what happens.. I'm gonna look like a moron.