[It might be because Sano's incredibly drunk, but it feels like it takes forever for Shinpachi to haul him up. And he's never taken forever to do it before. That's one reason he reached up in the first place, because he knew - he believed - Shinpachi would pull through like he always does. But now...
Even though he's back on his feet and Shinpachi isn't yelling, he knows he's still in deep shit. This isn't one of those times he can just tell Shinpachi to go walk around and blow off steam. He's realizing now this is definitely the more dangerous kind of anger, the kind that takes a more delicate approach to deal with.
Sano's too drunk for delicacy. Hell, even when he's sober, he's not the best choice for this sort of thing.
But it's also clear that this is going to be their battlefield. Not physical contact, no beating out the insecurities or hurts with bruises they can laugh about the next day. No, these wounds now are going to run deeper and scar on their skin and if he's not careful, if they ever glimpse those wounds, then it will just bring up these bad feelings all over again.
Shinpachi's hurting and it's Sano's fault, even if he never thought his actions would take them this far. Which is more important, his personal comfort or his best friend?
...Does he even have to ask himself that?]
Shinpachi...
If anyone's the moron here, it's me. 'Cause no matter what I do, it's the wrong thing. Back when I cut myself open, that was a mistake. Then here I almost screwed up things with Heisuke for good. I haven't...
[Gods, he wants to be honest with Shinpachi and talk about more, but it's so hard. It's so hard to just spill when he's so used to keeping everything inside.]
Y'know why I do it, right? Why I keep things to myself. 'Cause I think it's better if I don't worry anyone. An' I...I don't want anyone to think less o'me I'm not...actually big, tough, Harada Sanosuke. Not really.
no subject
Even though he's back on his feet and Shinpachi isn't yelling, he knows he's still in deep shit. This isn't one of those times he can just tell Shinpachi to go walk around and blow off steam. He's realizing now this is definitely the more dangerous kind of anger, the kind that takes a more delicate approach to deal with.
Sano's too drunk for delicacy. Hell, even when he's sober, he's not the best choice for this sort of thing.
But it's also clear that this is going to be their battlefield. Not physical contact, no beating out the insecurities or hurts with bruises they can laugh about the next day. No, these wounds now are going to run deeper and scar on their skin and if he's not careful, if they ever glimpse those wounds, then it will just bring up these bad feelings all over again.
Shinpachi's hurting and it's Sano's fault, even if he never thought his actions would take them this far. Which is more important, his personal comfort or his best friend?
...Does he even have to ask himself that?]
Shinpachi...
If anyone's the moron here, it's me. 'Cause no matter what I do, it's the wrong thing. Back when I cut myself open, that was a mistake. Then here I almost screwed up things with Heisuke for good. I haven't...
[Gods, he wants to be honest with Shinpachi and talk about more, but it's so hard. It's so hard to just spill when he's so used to keeping everything inside.]
Y'know why I do it, right? Why I keep things to myself. 'Cause I think it's better if I don't worry anyone. An' I...I don't want anyone to think less o'me I'm not...actually big, tough, Harada Sanosuke. Not really.