Bright lights! An abundance of color! A cacophony of laughter and delighted (?) shrieks! Welcome, everyone, to the carnival! Enough of those nonsense protein shakes and that hoity-toity recycling; it's time to let loose, have some fun, and live a little! No judgment will be allowed today, not when everyone’s dressed up in ridiculous costumes and eating those unnecessarily huge turkey legs (it... is turkey, right?). For you see, CERES has invited the Traveling Circus of Tjghsldiwk (they hail from a different planet, but here's a hint: the h is silent) to bring some joy to the colonists. This is a safe place to let your inner wild child out, really. Definitely safe. Promise.
Yet for those who are a little less easily convinced to follow the sounds of laughter and amusement (bless your sensible hearts), they will find themselves grabbed and forcibly dragged by a pair of friendly souls in matching costumes. Everyone should be able to enjoy the festivities, don’t you think? Can’t have them missing out on all this jolly good, innocent fun!
The Public Announcement System crackles with... well, a fit of coughing first. But then a gravelly voice speaks! It seems the ringmaster has an announcement for you all. What joyous news can he bring?  Listen... I know that we’re supposed to keep these idiots entertained for at least another day or two but the machinery’s starting to complain. I think I heard the gates of the petting zoo groan – they’re on their last legs.
... Wait, this isn’t the direct line
Oh.
Ohohoho!! Have a great time, everyone! Everything is perfectly fine!
|
PHASE I [ 11 00 ] Come one, come all!! There’s quite a large amount of people here, isn’t there? You’ll find yourself tugged this way and that – up until you get dragged right into a changing booth. The helpful attendant meets you with a worryingly large grin – how is her face not breaking? – before pushing you right through the curtain. Then you’ll be given your choice of one of these lovely garments to change into. Look, one of them has to match your skintone, right? Don’t be picky about it! You also have... 90 seconds to figure out how to wear it before you’re tossed out into the middle of the crowd again. Have a good festival!
If you’re not willing to put on the outfits though, that’s fine. Instead, they’ll top you off with a cape and crown, shoving you out onto a... stage? Your adoring public cheers for you, yells your name, and throws confetti in your honor! Then a jester appears again, announcing your grand title:
The Ugliest in All of Cerealia.
Don't worry, that's just your introduction to the carnival; enjoy the rest of your time here! (They may or may not have given you back your clothing.)
PHASE II [ 1600 ] Do you hear that? Cymbals crashing together, trumpets blaring off-tune, the march of absurdly tired feet – a parade is coming! Best move off to the side before an acrobat quite literally tumbles into you. If you are an unfortunate casualty, they’ll actually just start to fall asleep on you because they’re tired… so very, very tired.
Yet the parade continues to march on without them and you can let yourself be distracted by the impressive jumping around and festive partygoers (who seem to be joining in the parade as they please, in various states of undress). But be wary. Distraction will only make you easier prey for the very hungry caterpillar that’s coming up the street next. Run if you can, but it has so very many legs and it’s coming after you.
For those unable to make it away from the caterpillar, they will find themselves gulped right into its gross, drooling mouth – and about five minutes later, they’ll be released out again onto the streets covered in a pink slime. It looks like you won't be able to free yourself from the stuff, so hopefully you can find a friend to get some help! Or one of the strangers around you? Unfortunately, when a kind soul finally comes by to pull you out of the slime, they’ll find that the outside of the gunk is not only immensely sticky but also slippery. If they're not careful, you'll both end up stuck to the gunk together.
You both better get out of that stuff quick because once someone joins you, the slime starts to move. Quick and gooey, it'll pull you and the hapless soul with you down the street at a much too quick pace. Hopefully you won't slide into too many people as you skid your way through the streets of the Entertainment District like some sort of demented Katamari Ball. This is why you should never trust giant bugs!
PHASE III [ xxxx ] In a smaller booth, toward the outskirts of the carnival, some may find a familiar face manning a quiet little shack on her own. Although those who have been in the colony long enough may have first encountered her as an 8-bit version of herself, Aria the fortune-teller is now back and more than willing to drag unsuspecting people into her hands again. Once you step into her stall, she takes one long look at you before sliding over a fortune cookie and a mask. What do you mean you didn’t ask for a mask? That's too bad, because it's yours now. She won't say anything more than that, giving nothing more than a quiet dismissal with a hand and an enigmatic smile to match.
When you step back outside, you’ll find that you just can’t get rid of the mask. If you toss it into a trash bin, it’ll be right back in your pocket. Throw it at a friend? It’ll be in your hand in the next second. Throw it away enough times and it’ll suddenly plant itself on your face -- which leads to all the alien carnival goers in the nearby vicinity suddenly going still with fear before moving to get as far away from you as quickly as possible. Well... you seem to be able to take it off for now if you still want to enjoy the carnival. It just won't go away, and every time you try to throw it away, it'll attach itself to your face. Might as well just keep it.
But... still, it's strange how none of the aliens running the carnival will look you in the eye now, isn't it?
PHASE IV [ 1200 ] For those who aren’t interested in dealing with the abundance of people, there’s also an assortment of critters gathered around for the petting zoo! They all seem to follow a general theme… kind of. That might be floppy ears and a tail if you... squint. The alien staff is right there and quick to ask you not to worry, they're perfectly harmless -- they don't eat humans! It would be bad for their diet, so feel free to pet them, if you can gather enough courage to do so.
Unfortunately, it seems as though this part of the circus was not put together very well; the rickety fences and cages don't really seem to do much against these giant...creatures. Towards the end of the circus' time here, it looks like those cages will start breaking down more and more, too.
The animals rattle the makeshift fences of the petting zoo, until finally, the fences just... collapse. Oops. The ground shakes as the animals stomp and immediately move to break out of their little ring. Well, would you look at that? You’ve apparently found yourself in the middle of a little stampede -- and those warnings about these animals not eating humans doesn't seem to hold much weight when now they're looking at you -- and they look pretty hungry.
BONUS [ why o'clock ] Left and right, there are voices shouting for your attention. "Hey pretty young miss!" or "Excuse me, you stud!" or "Look at this, jackass!" – that said, aliens think that you all manage to look the same, so who knows if they’re yelling at you in particular – and they’re all daring you to come and try your hand at their carnival game.
It’s run of the mill stuff: shooting games, tests of strength, and knocking down a couple of milk bottles. You might actually be doing well! Or... you might be embarrassing yourself in front of whatever cute person you’re trying to impress! But regardless, in the last allotted ten seconds of your game, no matter what, you’ll find your point score plummeting right into the negatives. Did you get a bullseye? What do you know, that’s now worth -1000 points! You missed? -5000 points.
The stall assistant seems to be having a grand old time, laughing at your pain and when the clock finally runs out, they'll give you a large grin. "Look at that score! Well, you know what that means, don’t you? Now, we win you!" With that, metallic tentacles suddenly sprout from the booth itself, looking to capture you and whoever you’re with. Welcome to the carnival, now you're one of the prizes. And it seems you'll be here for quite some time. That is, of course, unless someone can win you back from these really horribly rigged games.
Looks like you'd better get comfortable hanging motionless from a display, like an oversized stuffed animal. You'll be here for a while.
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