[ this is when she risks a glance backwards to him, her eyes observing his expression. if he gets that, the rest should come easy. ... easy?
she's not sure how she's expecting him to react to what she'll tell him, just like she's not sure how she's expecting herself to react to what he'll tell her. it'll hurt, probably. she won't know what to say, probably. and she reminds herself again—history. ]
The "duty" I had before was gone. I didn't have anything to do with the world I was in, except for the duty that came up when they needed that Milla: die, so that she could come back.
[ honestly, that's all she was good for there. she wasn't their real milla, just a fake, and those were facts too. ]
I took too long to decide because I'm a coward, I guess. Someone took it into their own hands. They opened up that pit underneath me. They were going to kill a girl who considered me something more than a flimsy imitation, unless that idiot you saw let go of my hand and moved to save her.
[ he didn't let go, she reminds herself. she's not even keeping her own biases out of her retelling now, the feelings she'd locked away just kind of. spilling out. she shouldn't be showing these weaknesses to anyone. but now that they've been hinted at, she's too worn to put up the walls anymore.
she stops walking. ]
He wouldn't. I was needed there, nowhere else, so I did. I saw that other Milla nod at me as I fell, then nothing.
[ nothing, and so there's nothing more to say, a silent "that's it" drifting in the air. it really is pathetic. ]
no subject
she's not sure how she's expecting him to react to what she'll tell him, just like she's not sure how she's expecting herself to react to what he'll tell her. it'll hurt, probably. she won't know what to say, probably. and she reminds herself again—history. ]
The "duty" I had before was gone. I didn't have anything to do with the world I was in, except for the duty that came up when they needed that Milla: die, so that she could come back.
[ honestly, that's all she was good for there. she wasn't their real milla, just a fake, and those were facts too. ]
I took too long to decide because I'm a coward, I guess. Someone took it into their own hands. They opened up that pit underneath me. They were going to kill a girl who considered me something more than a flimsy imitation, unless that idiot you saw let go of my hand and moved to save her.
[ he didn't let go, she reminds herself. she's not even keeping her own biases out of her retelling now, the feelings she'd locked away just kind of. spilling out. she shouldn't be showing these weaknesses to anyone. but now that they've been hinted at, she's too worn to put up the walls anymore.
she stops walking. ]
He wouldn't. I was needed there, nowhere else, so I did. I saw that other Milla nod at me as I fell, then nothing.
[ nothing, and so there's nothing more to say, a silent "that's it" drifting in the air. it really is pathetic. ]