[ his chest aches, listening to tsurumaru, feeling the barely-there curl of his fingers against haru's, and as frightened and upset as he is, the protective urge flares hot and sudden inside him. he wishes.. he was better than he is, he wishes he could protect tsurumaru, he wishes he could show him that it doesn't always have to be suffering.
he blinks away the tears wetting his lashes again, bringing their curled hands to his chest, practically curling around them. ]
I can't.. take it back. [ he glances back up finally, pale eyes flicking over the spirit's face. how tired he seems, how worn down-- and this is perhaps the first time tsurumaru has really been honest with him since he first called him into life this way. ] But.. just because we die, it doesn't mean that you should close your heart off completely, Tsurumaru-san. There are people you can be with that won't die. And.. I know you don't like me, but.. but I'm still going to be here if you need me. Until I'm gone. And then my family will be there for you. And I'll come back, so that I can be there for you again.
[ his thumbs stroke over the backs of the bandaged hands, the motion tender. ] But.. [ he wets his lips, a little dizzy with the very notion of what he's about to say. ] But.. I-- [ a pause, a breath. ] I don't ask much of you, I think, but please, please promise me that you'll-- you'll try. I really think.. that you deserve better than to be haunted. [ he's not going to cry, he's not. ] If you really can't.. do this, though, if you've tried and you can't.. [ he trails off, hands shaking where they're curled around tsurumaru's own. ] .. Then.. I'll lay you to rest. For good this time. Just-- Just not yet, okay? Please. Give it.. a little more time.
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he blinks away the tears wetting his lashes again, bringing their curled hands to his chest, practically curling around them. ]
I can't.. take it back. [ he glances back up finally, pale eyes flicking over the spirit's face. how tired he seems, how worn down-- and this is perhaps the first time tsurumaru has really been honest with him since he first called him into life this way. ] But.. just because we die, it doesn't mean that you should close your heart off completely, Tsurumaru-san. There are people you can be with that won't die. And.. I know you don't like me, but.. but I'm still going to be here if you need me. Until I'm gone. And then my family will be there for you. And I'll come back, so that I can be there for you again.
[ his thumbs stroke over the backs of the bandaged hands, the motion tender. ] But.. [ he wets his lips, a little dizzy with the very notion of what he's about to say. ] But.. I-- [ a pause, a breath. ] I don't ask much of you, I think, but please, please promise me that you'll-- you'll try. I really think.. that you deserve better than to be haunted. [ he's not going to cry, he's not. ] If you really can't.. do this, though, if you've tried and you can't.. [ he trails off, hands shaking where they're curled around tsurumaru's own. ] .. Then.. I'll lay you to rest. For good this time. Just-- Just not yet, okay? Please. Give it.. a little more time.