Don't focus so much on proving anything to anybody, even yourself. It's way too much pressure and in the end you might just end up really, really unhappy. [And then be forced to face your Shadow in a dual to the death and that's probably not a great idea.] I don't really know what's going on but when we get back to the real city? Keep that attitude. Just...do things for yourself without feeling like it's because you have to do it. I don't know if that makes sense but...it's something I wish I'd learned a while ago.