estoria | ( OPEN )

Well, obviously. It didn't fit in the sink!

[ And it's not like Kogi would just drop the fish on the ground and let it flop around. It'd probably do more damage that way. ]

Bite marks are easily fixed. Thank goodness we're not human, right? That would be really unfortunate, I think it hungers for the flesh of the living.

[ Where did Kogi learn this phrase? Thanks, television. ]

Look, it was living in filth. I had to do something that wasn't letting it go free... it loves us! I think!

[ CAN ALIEN FISH LOVE?... ]

[JUST

GIVING KOGI A DUBIOUS LOOK. Both for his bizarre sudden display of popculture knowledge and because he's like 99% sure that fish doesn't even have a heart to love with.]

I dunno about that. [Considering they stole it from a pond and potentially stabbed a relative?! Even if it was for a good(???) cause... They had to get Shishiou's poor nue back!! But maybe this alien fish never found out about that alien fish's demise because it was too busy being carried in a soup bowl back home with Hotarumaru.]

Anyway, you're not gonna get anywhere if you just let it take over the bath. Maybe between the two of us, we can catch it. You already cleaned the tank out so we can just move it back in there, yeah?

[ HAS KASHUU EVER TRIED TO ASK FISHY ABOUT ITS FEELINGS? Of course not, so vicious and cruel...! ]

Well, I was thinking maybe we could just let it have the bathroom. However, my worry is that it may grow to its surroundings. What if Fishy got even bigger? Do you think we'd have to tell someone? Like... Haruji?

[ Because contacting CERES would mean certain death for their pet! ]

We could try. Are you sure you want to possibly risk your life to get Fishy back into his home?

[ Kogi may need to get Kashuu to sign a waiver regarding his health. ]

What do you think Haruji would be able to do for it, huh? He can't shrink alien fish! Just put it back into the tank.

[Kashuu isn't signing any waivers though, nope, nuh-uh, he's had enough brushes with death over the last week and he's not taking any risks. If Fishy looks like he's going to take a chomp out of one of them, Kashuu's abandoning ship...]

Or... I dunno, bring the tank over here and we can carry it back!

[As if that won't weigh like 100000 pounds...]

Oh, the tank is in the bathroom. You see, Fishy was actually pretty docile when I took it out and put it into the bathtub. I'm not sure what riled it up, but as soon as it started to angrily thrash about, I quickly left!

[ And by 'pretty docile' he means Fishy was only staring and hissing. ]

However, if you would be so kind to man the door, I should be able to get in and grab it without being eaten alive.

[ To prove its point, a loud slam and growl comes from the bathroom. Wow. Fishy needs to find its chill. ]

[Now he's kind of concerned for Kogitsunemaru's health?! He'd just been talking about potentially dying and NOW HE WANTS TO GO IN THERE...]

Uh. I mean, if you seriously think you can do that, I don't mind watching the door or whatever. [...] D'you want me to like, watch your vessel too or something?

[At least that way, he can make sure it doesn't vanish down into an alien fish belly...

It's probably a good idea, considering the loud thrashing sounds in there.]

[ No one else is going to go in! Kogi has to clean up his own messes, right? Even ones that were technically started by swords that don't live there anymore! Not that he's blaming Hotarumaru, who was probably strong enough to make Fishy know who the boss was.

Kogi is not that strong. He is, however, a not-fox--- and that's pretty darn great. ]

That's a great idea, Kashuu. I'm glad you're here to back me up. Yes, here, take my vessel.

[ Dingus squad is a beautiful, terrible thing. He passes his true self over, rolling up his sleeves which immediately slide right back down. ]

Please take care of me. Now, on my count.

[ Silently, Kogi holds up three fingers... then two... then one... then... five. Wait, he's not ready. He takes a deep breath and exhales through clenched teeth before restarting his countdown and actually ending with no fingers...! ]

[To be fair, Kashuu encouraged Hotarumaru to bring Fishy home... NOT THAT HE'S GOING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.

But he'll take Kogi's true self very carefully! Careful handling of his comrades! And watches as his sleeves roll right back down, ah... Good work, friend.]

Um— [Dingus squad compadre, please don't hurt yourself?! Actually, when Kogi gets down to zero fingers, Kashuu suddenly pipes up.]

Wait, wait, wait! There's gotta be a better way to do this.

[ WTF DON'T DEFLECT BLAME ONTO SOMEONE WHO ISN'T HERE ANYMORE! WHAT ]

Do you have something else in mind, Kashuu? [ Kogi's a little irritated he couldn't go full gangbusters on the fish, but then again it's Kashuu who stopped him! The fox has 100% trust in him! All of the faith! Yeah!

Oh, random thought time. ]

Think Fishy could make good sushi...?

[ Mmm, tasty death. ]

[NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW. Hotarumaru carried the secret to the great void beyond that swords apparently go to here...]

What?! How did you go from "cleaning its tank" to "eating it for dinner" in like, one second!

[KOGI?! That's knocked the idea he had clean out of his head, honestly. What's he even supposed to say to that... Maybe he should be glad he didn't let small fox go full gangbusters?!]

Besides, it's probably poisonous!

[ Nervously, he presses his fingertips against each other before looking at Kashuu with a half-smile. ]

Well, I'm hungry. I know we don't have to eat, but being in a routine and enjoying different flavors is a nice luxury to have! Maybe alien fish taste good. Neither of us should know, right?

[ UNLESS KASHUU HAS BEEN SNEAKING ALIEN FOOD AND NOT SHARING WITH GRANDPAS, the betrayal is possibly real...! ]

Poisonous to who? Us? I'm sure a little poison wouldn't be a problem. Either way, unless you have another idea, I'm gonna barge in there after I countdown again.

[ He holds his hand up. All five fingers, ready to go. ]

Neither of us would know for a good reason! Even if we can't get poisoned, we can still get super sick. I don't wanna throw up because I ate some freaky toxic fish!

[That's super unattractive?? Good lord, Kogi, just go to the general store and get some chips in exciting new flavors instead! At least he doesn't have to worry about Kashuu picking betray here, though. He'll never eat alien food... Probably.

He does look a little alarmed as soon as Kogi holds his hand up again, that said. But it's not like he has any better option?!]

Geez... Fine! Just be quick.

[ New to grocery stores everywhere: Fishy flavored chips! They even glow in the dark! WARNING: May cause seizures, barfing, and upside-down bowel syndrome.

Please don't ask what that last one is. ]

Meh. [ He waves a hand dismissively. Not like he's worried about getting sick, Inari's got his back! Then, without any wanring, he opens the door and slides into the bathroom.

For a moment, there is no sound. It's actually eerily silent! There's no commotion, no screams of horror, no gunshots... everything seems to be going pretty well?

And then Kogi opens the door. ]

Fishy is sleeping. I think we're good. Can you help me carry it to the empty bedroom?

[ Indeed, the alien fish is actually sleeping in it's tank?! It's actually making tiny bubbles as it dreams of eating everyone and everything in its way. Honestly, this would be cute if it wasn't horrifying as heck. ]

[Who wouldn't ask what that last one is, though.

But Kashuu actually nearly yells when Kogi opens the door without warning because WHAT THE HECK, that wasn't part of the plan?! But it's not like he can do anything to stop this fiend... So he just waits and listens in tense silence for the tell-tale sign of Death, but it's eerily quiet instead...

He jumps a little when Kogi pops back out, but that's good news! He's alive and well! It's a dang miracle.]

Oh— seriously? [WHY... He walks past Kogi cautiously, eying the fish in its tank...] ...Geez, this guy's such a pain. All right, all right - which side should I carry?

Edited 2016-03-03 01:11 (UTC)

[ It's a miracle! Look, Inari will keep Kogi safe. even in this godforsaken technological disaster world. No alien fish can beat the little fox! That would be a travesty. Besides, maybe Fishy just needed a nap to stop being so cranky all the time. Does its glow keep it awake at night?... ]

Take the one closest to you. Just be careful as you back up. We need to get to the bedroom on the other side of the apartment, one of them is empty.

[ It takes a lot of his strength, what with the heavy fish plus the filled tank, but he is able to get his side hoisted up when Kashuu is ready. Hopefully they can get it into that room safely! There shouldn't be anything on the floor for Kashuu to trip on, other than his own feet, but HEY HE SHOULD BE PRETTY CAPABLE ]

[Don't wonder these things about an alien fish! It'd still eat the heck out of any of them in the end!! Probably... Unless it really wouldn't pick betray, in which case Kashuu would have a lot of apologizing to do.]

No problem. [One, two, hoist!! Kashuu may have noodle arms, but he's still Tsukumogami Strong™ and he's able to heft his side up at the same time as Kogi. And Kashuu doesn't trip on his own feet, okay, he's too heel-trained for that.

So away they go, over the river and through the woods, to the empty bedroom! As long as Kogi doesn't trip either, it should be pretty uneventful. Kashuu lets out a sigh as soon as he gets over there.]

Phew! O-kaaay, where are we setting this thing down?

Edited 2016-03-04 18:52 (UTC)

[ Wow, one day Kogitsunemaru will think about going through heel-training! If it works for Kashuu, it's gotta work for a little fox who is pretty decent on his feet already? Not to mention it could make him even taller...! Maybe as tall as Iwatooshi?! That's an exciting thought. ]

Let's put this on the bed. No one should be sleeping in here, anyway.

[ Mostly because ever since they acquired three apartments, the number of the tsukumogami has dwindled ever since. Not that they could control circumstances like that. Still, that just means Fishy gets its own room! A room where if they lock the door, they never have to worry about anyone being eaten. ]

Together now, so we don't accidentally let Fishy go free. One, two, and three!

[ Unceremoniously, Kogi drops the tank. It's not a long fall, and it DOES land on a mattress... hopefully Fishy doesn't like being shaken. ]

[Say the word and Kashuu will be there to act as a heel guru, honestly... He's ready to introduce everyone to the fabulous world of (sometimes painful but still totally worth it) footwear.]

All right—

[ONE, TWO, THREE IS STILL THREE SECONDS TOO SOON, HONESTLY--

But Kashuu manages to avoid having his fingers crushed by letting go of the tank in a frantic, quick movement. He thought they were going to lower it?! But no, apparently Kogi just goes hard or goes home. The tank lands on the mattress, but some water sloshes out the top, and Fishy is definitely shaken awake by all of that nonsense...]

Eh— [BACKING AWAY.] Let's go!

[ Oh. He didn't know Kashuu was ready. Well, at least he keeps his fingers... unless an angry Fishy wants to take them away? Better those than his eyes! But it's definitely time to boogie on out of the room! Kogi doesn't just back away, he outright flies as he grabs Kashuu's sleeve and takes him along for the ride!

Out of the room they go, Kogi reaching out to slam the door behind them. It sounds like something is bouncing on the bed behind the closed door, but it's not out of fun!

New question: do fish like to jump on beds?

After a moment of breathing heavily, he checks to see if Kashuu is okay. That was a quick burst of action after all! The best way to make sure a comrade is fine is by prodding him anywhere possible. ]

[SCREAMS AS HE'S TUGGED ALONG-- But this is fine, this is fine... At least they escape Fishy's possible maelstrom before it can even happen!! Good work, team.

Of course, once they're outside of the room, he's both A) concerned about those bouncing sounds and B) suddenly being prodded all over by Kogi, whose hands he eventually bats at.]

Stop, stop! I'm fine! [At least he assumes that's what Kogi's trying to do... Check for injuries, maybe?? Or maybe he's just been struck by a Kogi Whim™.]

That thing better settle down soon. I don't wanna go check on it.

Are you sure? Haruji would be upset if either of us got hurt from dealing with Fishy. I suspect he never really wanted to keep it around, seeing as it's sort of dangerous.

[ As dangerous as three apartments with sword spirits doing things like this. Nervously, he turns to look at the door. The sounds soon quiet down, and it seems like Fishy has finally settled down in his new room. ]

... I think we're okay. It's not like it will get out of its tank and open the door. It would have done that by now, if it could.

[ Unless it's waiting for the perfect moment to strike? ]

Thank you for your assistance, Kashuu. I don't know what I would do without you.

[ Because every little fox needs a little accomplice... ]

[Kashuu is always here to be the accomplice Kogi needs... Team Dingus gotta ride together!!]

I'm sure! No way would I be careless enough to let that stupid thing bite me. And yeah, I'm pretty sure he's wanted to get rid of it from day one. [From the very moment Kashuu was like "sooo by the way, about those alien fish in the ponds..."]

Oh— [And now he's pulling Kogi's vessel from the back of his belt, where he'd secured it so he could carry the tank.]

Here, safe and sound. You'd probably lose your fingers without me, so don't try cleaning its tank on your own again, okay?

[ Ride together, die together! Well, maybe not so much of the second part... Kogi's short and long terms goals haven't been achieved yet! What are they? A mystery, even to him.

He gladly takes his vessel back, slipping it back where it belongs. Nice and secure with no fish to chew on it. ]

You know, I'm sure if Haru spent quality time with Fishy, he'd warm up to it!--- though, he'd probably need a bodyguard or two, just in case.

[ Like being escorted to visit someone in jail, only not. ]

Of course. I will remember for the next time the tank gets dirty.

[ He'll probably forget. It's a grandpa thing, really. But he won't forget how helpful Kashuu is, wow, he's such a great youthful sword. ]

Anyway, don't tell Haruji about Fishy's new bedroom. I'll leave him a note.

[Like a true dingus...

But once Kogi's vessel is back in place and Kashuu is sure he's not about to go diving back into the room for whatever weird reason, he nods and takes a step away from the door. Bye, Fishy... You're not his problem anymore!!]

If he visits that fish, he'd definitely need bodyguards. No way is he gonna go without at least one.

[HE DOESN'T TRUST FISHY AROUND SQUISHY HUMANS.]

But I won't tell as long as you promise to leave a note. He cleans even the spare bedrooms, so that'd be an awful surprise, yeah?

[ BUT FISHY IS THE EPITOME OF TRUST, A VALUABLE ASSET NEEDED FOR ALL WALKS OF LIFE! IT SMILES SO INNOCENTLY... ]

Good! Just... don't worry, I'll make sure he has advance notice. You can trust me!

[ Kogi's all smiles and will continue to be as long as Kashuu doesn't pick betray. And as long as everything seems to be fine, with Fishy in a clean tank and neither spirit with additional holes in their bodies, then... ]

I'm going to go take a shower in the other bathroom and probably clean up the mess. Who knew something that lived in water could make such a big one?

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