estoria | ( OPEN )

[ gasp!! what a lovely fishy with even lovelier goals. just mcfreakin eat everyone, fishy... tsuru supports the fishy agenda.

uncle kogi always does have a smooth way with his words, and hearing them makes tsuru shine with pride. just for that, he'll be the best backup that he can possibly be!! and he's even gotten used to seeing kogi's hair-ears perk up whenever he has something important to say, no matter how weird it is... he's just accepted it. deep down in his heart, he's still so, so absolutely sure that kogi is half-fox.

he gives an extra serious nod of his head, eyebrows narrowed determinedly. ]

I can take care of loud noises — we can find pots and pans in the kitchen. [ because while he may be the master of surprises, just yelling at fishy probably won't cut it at all. he needs to amplify his Loud Power. but kogi mentions the tank again, and tsurumaru's eyes just kind of glaze over; this time, he'll ask. ]

What kind of tank fits a fish as big as Fishy?

[ and how isn't it broken???? is it reinforced with all of their resources??? is it a super duper tank? ]

You know, it's a pretty big tank! It's gotten almost too small for it, but I don't want to get a bigger one... it could grow even larger. I've had go to through several tanks in the past, but this one should be the last one.

[ He taps his chin. ]

It's really cutting into my tofu and fox purchasing funds!

[ CERES is not ready for a Fishzilla, heck, Kogi's not really ready for regular old Fishy. It hasn't been a major problem, but given recent events left Kogi being unable to take care of his inherited pet... well, the time has come and the little fox and crane must deal with it, together! Teamwork! ]

Good. You'll have to create the biggest distraction that you've ever done before! Fishy's focus is unearthly, so once it's broken... it might just act like a normal fish and we can take care of it easily.

[ Kogi ASSUMES this will probably happen, but hey, worst case scenario they both get some quality repairing time? ]

Go get the pots and pans. I'll find something to surprise Fishy with.

[ why... free fishzilla and let it terrorize the masses! because this event clearly didn't hurt and traumatize everyone enough... wow, kogi sets high expectations. tsurumaru may have spent centuries honing and perfecting his art, but — ]

The biggest distraction? Geez, I'm not ready to pull my trump card just yet, Kogi. You'll have to settle for my second-to-biggest one!

[ he huffs, cheeks puffing with air, not unlike a small child. it won't be the Biggest Distraction™, but it'll certainly be something!!

turning on his heel, tsurumaru vanishes through the hallway — to the kitchen, where he quietly picks up a few sets of pots and pans, because it wouldn't make sense to bring more than they can clang together at one time, right?

he's still holding them in his arms when he returns, peering around and waiting for kogi to return with whichever surprise that he has in mind... the door is still closed, though, with thrashing and thumping noises coming from behind it. it seems as if fishy is getting impatient, so he hopes that kogi will return soon! ]

[ Kogitsunemaru has prepared for this day ever since he realized he woke up that morning. Knowing that his discovery of the Most Surprising Item Ever could possibly involve having to surprise an alien fish with a real attitude problem, he knew that there was only one thing--- a thing that, once used, would put Fishy in shock!

With the item covered up, Kogi sneaks back into the hallway where he smiles seeing the pots and pans. Good work, Tsuru! Kogi is super proud, just enough between the two of them to make a ruckus. ]

Here it is. Are you ready to see my weapon?

[ It's flat, square, and doesn't seem very pointy. Heck, it could be anything under there! Holding it up, he slides the blanket off to reveal...

... Tsuru's reflection! A mirror! ]

You see, if Fishy sees its reflection it may think there's another alien fish. This may make it freeze up! Perhaps it will intimidate itself!

[ ooh, boy! it's here! kogi's ultimate surprise, one that'll probably even impress tsuru!! so he's waiting impatiently, trying to peer around kogi to catch a glimpse of his super secret weapon, because old grandpas aren't going to teach a small, spoilable tsukumogami about patience, and this is why he bounces around like a child, even at age 962. he isn't successful in getting a peek in advance, though —

— aaaaand... his own reflection? no, wait. it's a mirror. a mirror? but then kogi explains, and everything falls into place. ]

Ooh, I get it! That sounds like it'll work.

[ he knew he could rely on kogi to form the most brilliant strategies... if his hands weren't occupied with kitchen items, he'd give kogi's hair-ears a vigorous pat. everything's in place for the perfect plan, and looking back towards the door, now — ]

Who's going to open it?

Mm! I will open the door. You will need to lead the charge and use your equipment in order to disturb the fish. Before it has a chance to react, I will enter with the mirror and hopefully shock it again.

[ Kogi will make sure to collect on that hair-ear pat sometime in the future! One can never have enough of those, especially when they're so soothing! It's like a special therapy that only he can enjoy, because of those odd little tufts of hair.

With a smile, he hoists the mirror up to waist level and nods. ]

On your mark, Tsurumaru. You're going to want to start the noise as soon as you enter.

[ that sounds like a good plan!! after this is over, and if they come out of this victorious, he'll give kogi all of the hair-ear pats that he could possibly want. so he'll give kogi a firm nod, waiting until the other tachi pushes the door open for the both of them...

and OHGODFISHYISRIGHTTHERE, right behind the door.

tsurumaru had expected it to be in there somewhere, but he's been a bit spooked at seeing it so suddenly, that while he does bang the pots and pans together (along with a softly muttered apology to whoever else might be in the apartment at this time), he kind of lets out a scream.

a really loud scream.

is this how intimidation works? ]

[ OHMYGODWHYISFISHYRIGHTTHERE?!

Kogi nearly drops the mirror as Tsurumaru screams louder than the pots he wields, joining in with the surprised noise. Heck, even Fishy is screaming! All three of them, mouths agape, caught in shock as Kogi quickly points the mirror toward the suddenly scared fish!

Its reaction is just as they both imagined. The fish, unsure what to do because it is a fish, goes headfirst into its reflection. Is it trying to run away or fight the not-fishy on the other side of the mirror? Either way, it bounces off after shattering the glass and tries desperately to climb into its tank.

The big tank, for big fish.

Kogi goes down bottom first, while his screaming stops as he recovers from the sudden burst of energy. Too many surprises!!! ]

[ shoutout to uncle kogi for pulling through in moments of panic... for all of the surprises that he conducts, tsuru himself gets startled pretty easily?? but fishy that looked so fun to pet before is now angry fishy that wants to vehemently cause harm! anyway, fishy is doing its very best to fight the imaginary, second mirror fishy, which only results in cracked mirror shards being scattered along the bathroom floor.

but then down goes kogi and mirror, so after a quick prayer to his fallen comrade in the fight, tsuru will have to take the lead... for kogi. #doitforkogi, his sacrifice will not be forgotten. with the pots and pans still in his hands, tsurumaru uses them as extensions of his own arms to sort of juggle fishy, guiding the spiky sea creature towards its big tank.

with his artful juggling, fishy inches up, up, up, up, up... until one more inch, and then tsurumaru tips the pan over, flipping fishy into the tank. there it is, in all of its sad captive glory. ]

Look, look!

[ is fishy going to stay, though... do they need a lid.... if there's no lid, will it go crawling back out again and ambush them?! ]

[ Though stunned, Kogitsune is amazed at how skillfully Tsurumaru handles the pots and pans to safely hoist Fishy up and over into the tank? Simply put, his mouth is agape and he wonders if he's seeing the most miraculous thing ever. It definitely tops the list! Not even the Giant Chocolate Monster of Valentine's Day can compare to Tsuru flashing his fancy juggling skills.

As soon as the fish lands in the tank, still thrashing about wildly because it is very upset that it's not the Lone Fish in the Swordhaus. However, it's now Kogi's turn! He has the way to keep Fishy safe and secure and prevent it from another attack! Taking the broken mirror, he deftly slams it onto the open tank--- glass side up, of course. He didn't want Fishy eating any glass, that's really bad for ANYONE.

Except maybe alien fish? ]

The deed is done.

[ Kogi is so tired now. The fish, the yelling, the loud noises, Tsuru's greatest act, and now... he sits on top of the tank. ]

Where did you learn how to do that, Tsurumaru?

[ he'll let kogi take care of the rest, setting the pots and pans back down as fishy ends up trapped in the Powerful Tank Enclosure once more. is it see through? can fishy still stare at them?

but then kogi asks about his magical pan juggling display, and tsurumaru's kind of surprised, actually, because is it really so strange? answering, in a slow, thoughtful tone: ]

It's like sparring, but with two swords instead of one. [ and it's not as if they can be really heavy swords, either, because can you imagine someone dual-wielding oodachi? not a pleasant time. ]

Not that I actually focused on using two swords at once, really — but it's not surprising if I always favor one side while I fight, right? You'll always encounter surprises that you won't expect — and you just have to surprise them back!

[ three whole times... how long can tsurumaru go without saying 'surprise'? not very long, actually. ]

[ It means that Tsurumaru is really full of surprises! The thought of dual-wielding swords is a little confusing to Kogitsune, mostly because he could never think about using something that isn't himself or a practice one? What if he used himself and Nakigitsune at the same time... twin fox power? But one is much heavier than the other, so he'd have to find someone else??? ]

Aren't surprises unexpected to begin with, Tsurumaru? [ But he digresses, the other tachi is correct. Better to get the jump on the jumper rather than be jumped on, just like Fishy... who is sulking in the tank, it probably hates being in there but it beats having to fight Mirror Fishy. ]

Anyway! I was thinking about putting Fishy in the spare room next to Tanuki-san's... or perhaps maybe we can give him a surprise of sorts? Something to really energize him?

[ He grins. ]

[ twin fox power! maybe you'd have to put kogi in your dominant hand, and naki in the other? but it wouldn't hurt to swap every once in a while, to keep both hands extra strong and ambidextrous. ]

True, but it doesn't hurt to brace yourself for them, as best as you can. [ because tsurumaru does know, better than anyone else, that no amount of preparation will fully help people expect surprises. but nonetheless, doing your best to be prepared for them is the most you can do!

he makes a thoughtful hum, looking towards the tank, then back at kogi. ]

What if we gave him some fish toys? [ are those even a thing... ] Like... you know how there's cat toys and dog toys? And even bird toys? I was thinking that if we gave Fishy lots of toys, it can tire itself out by playing — and then, it won't be as overwhelming all the time.

Fish toys... fish toys... what do fish like Fishy play with? I didn't even know fish were anything like cats or dogs. [ Tsurumaru is definitely one that knows how to surprise, and this time it's with knowledge! It's not like one can get a squeaky toy or a rubber ball to give to a fish like this, but... hm. He thinks about various things that other animals like. ]

Maybe Fishy would like a sword of its own? One that it can't eat, or anything like that... it certainly has taken a bite out of at least one of us before. Or maybe a bone? Like, a shiny metal bone?

[ He certainly has a few ideas, but he's definitely receptive to anything that Tsuru can come up with! ]

[ well, fishy doesn't seem like any other fish he's ever encountered — it's far more active! and animals with lots of energy need to engage in lots of exercise, otherwise they'll get really aggressive, or something... he learns a lot from animal shows on tv.

so he makes a thoughtful expression, because while those do sound like viable toys... ]

Is there a sword that won't cut through Fishy? It'd be no good if we had to turn him into Fishy stew, you know.

[ although, fishy doesn't seem too edible. he has another idea to contribute, though! again, he doesn't really know if it even exists, but it doesn't hurt to try, right? ]

What about a fish obstacle course?

[ Yeah, it'd be bad giving Fishy a weapon. What if instead it didn't cut itself, but it learned how to wield a sword?! What kind of hell would they bring to the colony??? ]

Hm... a fish obstacle course... [ Staring down at the tank, he wonders what kind of course they could build for the fish? ]

Well, we'd have to get an even bigger tank. One where Fishy could move about and not feel restricted... and then, we'd have to fill it with things that would keep it entertained. Things it couldn't just eat and grow from it...

[ He winces. Where would he be able to find a tank to let Fishy do its activities? Hm! Hm... ]

I love the idea. It may require some careful planning and some extra space, but I think it's possible. For now, Fishy may need to stay in its box until we can figure out the best way to make this happen.

[ oh god... that would be the coming of the next fish-pocalypse! but he looks at the tank too, as if staring at it will help him generate ideas. there are probably bigger tanks out there, in the realm of the pet shop! they just have to look... ]

Like, you know how hamsters and mice have obstacle courses? What if we got one custom-built? Mikazuki probably has enough credits to afford everything we need, so money won't be an issue.

[ yes..... tsuru loves to put things on mikazuki's tab... but the biggest purchases that he slaps on mikazuki's tab are never for himself? they're always gifts for others, and now gifts for fishy! truly, he has a good heart. ]

If we could somehow turn that spare room into an aquarium, it'd be nice. Or if that's too much work, we could just fit a reaaaally big tank in there.

[ GASPS OUT LOUD! Kogi has an idea. It's crazy, but maybe... MAYBE... it might work. ]

Do you think we could somehow get a giant fish tank, but put it outside of the Die-jo for Fishy to play in? Maybe it can be big enough to house a bunch of toys and stuff, and then others can come by and see it too? Also, it means it can't just eat one of us or chew on our vessels!

[ Fishy could also serve as an anti-vandalism unit! Perhaps Tsuru can use that borrowed money for something like this? Alternatively, Kogi can just spend his own... he rarely buys things, unless it's fox related (or for Fishy, this one time).

He looks down at the tank that he is sitting on. At least it's calm... for now. ]

... I think Fishy can stay in here for a while. Maybe a sign will help, too.

[ if it comes to it, they can pool their funds together! half of it will be jiji's credits, and half of it will be kogi's credits! jiji and kogi, investing in fishy's future together... that sounds like it'd make for good sappy grandpa stories. ]

Ooh, that sounds good! Putting it away from the apartments means that it doesn't put any of us in danger. But, we'd have to make sure that it can't chew its way out of that tank, either.

[ can you imagine? mid-spar, a mega spiky fish starts flopping towards you at a rapid pace, like the fiercest boss monster on the final map... except this is real, and there's no quit button to escape from Fishy Boss. farewell, dojo members.

so he peers at that tank too, and luckily for the both of them, fishy seems to have tired itself out for today. ]

Do you need any help taking it back to the spare room? I can carry the tank back with you, if you want.

[ Maybe they can hold a fundraiser... a 'help us pay for the neat Fishy attraction or you'll get an unavoidable boss encounter'-athon? Actually, that sounds like a threat. ]

The last thing we need is avoidable bloodshed in our shared occupation. I suppose a fence wouldn't be good enough... they work well on horses, but I suppose this fish is no horse.

[ It's no seahorse, that's for sure. ]

Yes, your assistance would be greatly appreciated! Trying to carry this by myself was a mistake... a huge mistake. Here, if you take that side and I take this one, we should be able to take it back into the spare bedroom.

[ Going from a sitting to crouching position isn't hard, and he makes sure to grab the one closest to the door. That way, Tsuru isn't the one that has to back down the hall. ]

[ he's all for this, personally — there's nothing that makes people donate like good, quality fear, after all...... wait, that was a joke? ]

Unless underwater fences exist, I don't think fences would help us. Fish can probably wiggle their way out of the gaps in the fence, in the way that horses can't.

[ that pun!! it'll have to go appreciated like this, instead. but he listens to kogi's instructions, lifting the side of the tank as told. he's straining a little, because while he can fight just fine, he's no tonbokiri or nagasone — he's skin and bones!! but with another huff, he manages to get a firm grip on the tank. ]

Got it! I'll do my best. You somehow got it here by yourself, but that doesn't mean you should carry it back by yourself again, right? That's what comrades are here for.

[ and so here they go, to put fishy and tank back in their humble abode of the spare bedroom!! he walks carefully, matching his walking pace with kogi's. ]

[ And with Tsurumaru's help, not to mention that is best is definitely good enough, they're able to carry the tank into the room that's either next to Tanuki-san's or... well, there's a chance they actually go into his. Not like Donut does a great job of decorating or leaving anything around that would indicate that they'd put the tank in? Quickly, he sets it down with the mirror still on it--- mostly to keep Fishy still (or does it keep it dark enough so it thinks it's nighttime???) ]

Woof. I swear, Fishy's tank got heavier since the last time I picked it up! Even with your help, it's such a strain.

[ They should probably leave the room quickly, before Fishy wakes up... ]

[ oh... just for fun, perhaps they left fishy in donut's room!! tsurumaru would certainly approve of it, and it'd be a good surprise for donut, whenever he returns. by then, fishy just might be awake to give him the most charming, violence-free greeting in the entire world.

once they set the tank down, tsurumaru lifts his arms behind his head, giving them a light stretch. ]

One day, we'll find Fishy a proper, permanent place, so that we don't have to keep carrying its tank around everywhere.

[ and with that cue, he steps carefully, tiptoeing out of the room without daring to breathe; not that swords need to breathe anyway, but you know! he makes sure kogi follows after him successfully, before reaching for the door handle, closing the door with the softest click. ]

[ Coming up behind Tsurumaru, Kogitsune is happy to be away from Fishy. It's a lot more dangerous than he originally thought, and the last thing he wanted was anyone from the Swordhaus apartments to get injured coming across it? But with Tsuru's help, it should be temporarily okay. ]

Yes. We will. That day will be a nice day. Maybe we can have a celebration, too.

[ 'Fishy Didn't Eat Us'-fest! There will be udon, fried food, and cake? Maybe? ]

I'll let you know when I find out about moving the fish to the Dojo. Until then, please take care of yourself. I worry when I don't see you often.

[ Because Tsuru is precious! ]

( OPEN )

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