[Well, this thousand year old is looking pretty cute and spry for her age!! Particularly in that layered cake one might call a dress!! It's a wonder how she can move in that thing.]
[Regardless, near seconds after the murder announcement (Wow. People trying to kill her. What a strange and exciting plot twist!! NOT!!), Maya makes the extremely wise decision to make a mad dash towards the microphone, in lieu of snatching a weapon. Once she's in vocal range, she'll hastily add in her own announcement:]
Heeeey, folks! That was the pilot for our new reality TV show, CERES CAPERS! It's a work in progress! A-Anyway, my co-host, Dappy McOldpants, was totally kidding around! It's an elaborate prank! It's--
[Well, now half the room is pointing weapons at her. GOOD JOB, MAYA.]
[You might want to take his opportunity to run, while she's got the diversion going]
... I tried.
>> P H A S E I I - A; at least it isn't a tarzan cosplay
[So, one of those lovely dates of yours (aka: a monster), is lumbering after you, jaws outstretched. It wants a love nibble.... of sorts. Regardless, you're making the smart decision and fleeing the scene! You may be struggling. You may doing fine. But no matter what you're doing, your flight will be interrupted by Tarzan-- or well, a tiny teenaged girl's terrible Tarzan impression, as she swings in on a jungle vine to grab hold of you and rescue you!!!]
[Or smacks right into your chest and slides to the ground, depending on how big you are and comedic timing]
[Or maybe she just misses you entirely and keeps swinging]
WOAAAAAH!
>> P H A S E I I - B; we're gonna capture pikachu;
[So, Maya's attempted to touch the wall. This is evident in that her hair's sticking up and she's, a little, uh, charged]
[She's also managed to gain herself some admirers, what with her sparkling personality. Monsters and NPCs alike!]
Guys, I'm flattered, really, but I'm one thousand apparently! Maybe you should be dating girls your own a---
[and this would be the time where she loses her balance, goes tumbling down through a canopy, and lands--- either directly on you, or into your arms, depending on how good your reflexes are.]
[This would be all well and good, except-- apparently, she's pikachu. Congrats on catching your very first pokemon!! Enjoy that minor electric shock upon physical contact. ZAP!]
Woah! Another date, so fast? I'm totally shocked!
[(Maya, no.)]
[But, uh, think fast, because her other admirers are headed your way, fast]
>> P H A S E I I I; screw you zelda fishing
[Well, Maya's apparently decided to get in touch with her while side and constructed a fishing rod with thick branches and... what looks like parts of her fancy dress. She's sitting peacefully by the water, line (?) in the steam.]
Woah! Was that a bite?
[And without warning, she yanks on the rod a little too hard, and the bait--- one of her fancy slippers - going flying past your ear and thonks against a tree.]
[Yeah, she just used a shoe as bait]
Ugh! I totally had that Kingfish!!
[Get it?? Wait, there aren't any kingfishes in the jungle!]
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