[ Rhys' profile is horrific. Truly. Seven?? Plywood??? A wood chipper??? Unfortunately, there isn't much time to complain (his favorite activity) before shit gets real. He somehow still ends up with his tie tucked into his pants as if that's in any way acceptable, but it could be worse. He could be covered in blood! He isn't, yet, so this is about as attractive as he's going to get. Deal with it.

Shit immediately gets even realer. ]

—Wait, whaaaat? [ God, these people move fast. He dives onto the floor, narrowly avoiding horrible death, and scrambles away from his attacker. They grab his leg and he kicks their face. It would be sort of badass if he wasn't screaming. They don't let go, so he just... keeps kicking. Over and over and over again. ] Ohmygod, would you just die already!

[ Death-by-kicking doesn't occur, but he does manage to crawl free. You look competent! He's just gonna... crawl behind you... protect him, brave knight. ]

Hey, back— back off! ...Come on, I already had a wood chipper accident. Apparently.

[ It's still not his worst first date. ]

[ Somehow, he doesn't die. Rhys is not exactly a hunter, though; that requires a level of coordination that he just doesn't have. Stealing is only a slightly better idea. Slightly. He isn't particularly stealthy as he (attempts to) sneak towards your supplies, reaches out and—

Ooooooohhhhhhhhh, fuck. ]

What— where is that spotlight coming from?! [ They're in the jungle, for god's sake. But it looks like there's more pressing matters. He smiles sheepishly, yanking his hand away from your stuff. ] For what it's worth, I'mmm... really sorry?

[ Except for the part when two seconds ago, he was going to happily steal your things. ]

[ Rhys is surprisingly good at surviving. Maybe it's an adrenaline thing. Maybe it's that he's not afraid to fuck people over. It's probably both. He even gets a few kills in. He's gross and sweaty and bloody, but his opponent falls after a hilariously awkward fight. Holy crap. He thanks every god that might exist and even some that he's pretty sure he made up and... wait a second. He nudges the corpse with his foot. It rolls over and he looks at its face. ]

Oh, god, oh, god, oh god, oh, god.

[ Shit. He sure did just kill Fiona. God, it's worse than killing the others, because he was always such an ass to her— he hears slow clapping and Jack's voice in his head congratulating him on a job well done. He crouches down. ]

Don't worry, I know first aid. I know first aid. OhgodnoIdon't.

[ Would CPR work??? Not that it matters, he doesn't know CPR. Shit. Then he feels... wet. HE'S NOT CRYING, IT'S JUST RAINING ON HIS FACE. (No, really, it is.) ]

[ anything goes! if you have any questions, pm me or pp me at regnant! also, please check out the echo eye permissions! ]