[The murderous rage Hiro expressed was unexpected - yet oddly, Kaz didn't feel afraid in the face of it. He didn't even move to defend himself or retreat. Hiro stalked towards him, his expression eerily familiar to that of the Bels; raw with undisguised hatred and fury, a desire to rend him in two. Kaz studied it detachedly, interested in this entire, alien scene.
He should be getting angry right now - defensive at least. He couldn't even muster a token effort. That indescribable feeling felt like a frozen rock had wedged itself behind his breastbone, throbbing along with his heartbeat - which raced, frantically, despite the calmness that had overtook him. He was definitely fucked in the head, if he was like this, right? His body's instincts had identified the rapidly approaching frothing mad threat invading its very personal space, but his mind simply... acknowledged.
No, maybe he had expected this after all. Maybe he wanted Hiro to get angry at him? Minato and William and Hyoubu had all been kind and understanding when the truth of what he was came out, that, while appreciated, always struck him as wrong on a deep, visceral level. This was what he expected. This was, on a twisted level, was what he wanted.
Hiro's hand closed around his collar, the grip almost choking. Kaz closed his eyes, bracing, in response to-
...
...
-to the hug?]
...?
[Yeah. Hiro was hugging him. Kaz opened his eyes and stared over his shoulder, arms hanging limply by his side. It didn't properly process at first, Hiro's words taking a sluggish few seconds to fully sink in. His heart beat faster, like it was trying to smash through his ribs and fly off somewhere - anxious. What? What was this?]
I... don't understand. [he felt like Hiro really had sucker-punched him from how hard he was reeling - actually would've preferred it. He would've known how to react to physical pain and anger, not... whatever the hell was happening right now. He felt like his brain was in the middle of some weird meltdown] Why are you... if you were like me, then... how...
[Somewhere in his guts, Bel gave a slight shift, as if to remind him of its presence. He shook. Should he push Hiro away right now? Maybe that would make him punch him and make things go along a route that made sense? He should have lied. He didn't want to know if Hiro was the same and suffered the same - fuck. Fucking fuck. What the fuck.]
no subject
He should be getting angry right now - defensive at least. He couldn't even muster a token effort. That indescribable feeling felt like a frozen rock had wedged itself behind his breastbone, throbbing along with his heartbeat - which raced, frantically, despite the calmness that had overtook him. He was definitely fucked in the head, if he was like this, right? His body's instincts had identified the rapidly approaching frothing mad threat invading its very personal space, but his mind simply... acknowledged.
No, maybe he had expected this after all. Maybe he wanted Hiro to get angry at him? Minato and William and Hyoubu had all been kind and understanding when the truth of what he was came out, that, while appreciated, always struck him as wrong on a deep, visceral level. This was what he expected. This was, on a twisted level, was what he wanted.
Hiro's hand closed around his collar, the grip almost choking. Kaz closed his eyes, bracing, in response to-
...
...
-to the hug?]
...?
[Yeah. Hiro was hugging him. Kaz opened his eyes and stared over his shoulder, arms hanging limply by his side. It didn't properly process at first, Hiro's words taking a sluggish few seconds to fully sink in. His heart beat faster, like it was trying to smash through his ribs and fly off somewhere - anxious. What? What was this?]
I... don't understand. [he felt like Hiro really had sucker-punched him from how hard he was reeling - actually would've preferred it. He would've known how to react to physical pain and anger, not... whatever the hell was happening right now. He felt like his brain was in the middle of some weird meltdown] Why are you... if you were like me, then... how...
[Somewhere in his guts, Bel gave a slight shift, as if to remind him of its presence. He shook. Should he push Hiro away right now? Maybe that would make him punch him and make things go along a route that made sense? He should have lied. He didn't want to know if Hiro was the same and suffered the same - fuck. Fucking fuck. What the fuck.]
How... h-how are you not strangling me right now?
[Seriously????]