[Kazuya was quiet for a long moment, but the minute tremors that had been going through his body had stilled. He was keenly aware that Bel was... there, a heavy weight in the back of his mind, observing no doubt. Kaz wasn't sure what he was supposed to be doing - he felt like there was an air of expectation pressing down on him, especially in light of Hiro's words, and he shifted slightly, like he was going to pull away from the embrace. He wasn't good with this - not at all]
...it's difficult, y'know.
[He mumbled this, his head dipping slightly so the words were muffled into Hiro's shoulder. Moving forwards... it was difficult. He tried, he really did, but he felt like all that baggage that got foisted on him was acting like some killer anchor, trying to drag him down the harder he pulled. Sometimes he thought it'd be better if he drowned, but no, he had to keep moving forwards. Like Hiro said, focusing on the little mistakes was counter-productive to that, but... it was just hard, and he was so so tired.
...
He took a chance.]
Hiro. I-
[he hesitated, then slowly, he returned the embrace with the air of someone who was unfamiliar it. He was more of a headpatting guy, personally, and Naoya, despite being affectionate during his childhood, had never been a huggy person. But, it was... comforting, and... well, good thing Hiro had that stupid bunny hoodie, because it padded him out enough to make the hug feel comfortable. He kept his face hidden in his fellow protag's shoulder, though, because he knew the moment he started feeling self-conscious, would be the moment he sabotaged himself, or chickened out, or do something equally stupid and destructive]
I'm sorry. [Let's hope Hiro's good at parsing quiet mumblings muffled by fabric, because that was the only volume Kaz could muster right now] I know we're the same, but, m'not gonna stop feeling jealous of you, y'know, because... it's all stuff in my head, and... I know, it's unfair, especially since it hasn't actually been all rainbows and roses for you but... I dunno.
[Because even when confronted over this, his emotions weren't going to do a complete 180 in the span of a few minutes. He'll still think Hiro's better. He'll still be jealous of that fact. It was going to be a work in progress, something that made him feel deeply exhausted just thinking about it. Maybe he should actually look into getting some kind of mental help. Though, he didn't know if Cerealia did that kind of thing, and back in his world, well, Lord forbid the Messiah seeing a therapist. Another work in progress task too...]
Ugh... this is dumb. [His grip around Hiro tightened to the point where he might feel his ribs creak. Kaz didn't realise] Emotions are stupid. I hate it. This. Something. You, maybe. I don't know.
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...it's difficult, y'know.
[He mumbled this, his head dipping slightly so the words were muffled into Hiro's shoulder. Moving forwards... it was difficult. He tried, he really did, but he felt like all that baggage that got foisted on him was acting like some killer anchor, trying to drag him down the harder he pulled. Sometimes he thought it'd be better if he drowned, but no, he had to keep moving forwards. Like Hiro said, focusing on the little mistakes was counter-productive to that, but... it was just hard, and he was so so tired.
...
He took a chance.]
Hiro. I-
[he hesitated, then slowly, he returned the embrace with the air of someone who was unfamiliar it. He was more of a headpatting guy, personally, and Naoya, despite being affectionate during his childhood, had never been a huggy person. But, it was... comforting, and... well, good thing Hiro had that stupid bunny hoodie, because it padded him out enough to make the hug feel comfortable. He kept his face hidden in his fellow protag's shoulder, though, because he knew the moment he started feeling self-conscious, would be the moment he sabotaged himself, or chickened out, or do something equally stupid and destructive]
I'm sorry. [Let's hope Hiro's good at parsing quiet mumblings muffled by fabric, because that was the only volume Kaz could muster right now] I know we're the same, but, m'not gonna stop feeling jealous of you, y'know, because... it's all stuff in my head, and... I know, it's unfair, especially since it hasn't actually been all rainbows and roses for you but... I dunno.
[Because even when confronted over this, his emotions weren't going to do a complete 180 in the span of a few minutes. He'll still think Hiro's better. He'll still be jealous of that fact. It was going to be a work in progress, something that made him feel deeply exhausted just thinking about it. Maybe he should actually look into getting some kind of mental help. Though, he didn't know if Cerealia did that kind of thing, and back in his world, well, Lord forbid the Messiah seeing a therapist. Another work in progress task too...]
Ugh... this is dumb. [His grip around Hiro tightened to the point where he might feel his ribs creak. Kaz didn't realise] Emotions are stupid. I hate it. This. Something. You, maybe. I don't know.