estoria | not enough coffee for a clever log title (closed)

not enough coffee for a clever log title (closed)

Who: Souji (

iaijutsu)
When: Today, just before sunrise
Where: Shinsengumi pad.
What: Actual bedninja Okita Souji invading the best friend's personal space.
Rating/Warning: PG-13 by sheer virtue of Souji being Souji.

[with the strange way souji keeps his sleep schedule, the time just before the sun rises always feels like the most taxing. it's a combination of things these days, even more so than it had been in haven. he shifts back and forth frequently between sleeping in the daylight hours and sleeping in the night normally out of necessity, though on those days he fights through the sunlight, he just winds up even more tired.

today? well, today is one of those days. he managed to get through the day (though it was hardly as productive as he would have liked), and resisted his tiredness by slipping out of the apartment and exploring the city a bit. by the time he gets back, though, the sun is on the horizon and he's so exhausted that he could barely stand.

probably not one of souji's wisest moves, truthfully. even if he's managed to keep any signs of his illness at bay, this is just asking for trouble.

which is exactly why when he makes it back to their shared room, souji flops down on the first bed he reaches, which little care or regard for the fact that it may not be his bed at all... or that someone else may be in it. it wouldn't be the first time he does this to saitou, and it definitely won't be the last.

but hey, minor details, right? he's tired and it's not like saitou will care. it's not like he's ganking food or anything.]

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[Saitou, for his part, has stubbornly done his best to remain completely diurnal.

It's probably not the smartest thing he's ever done, honestly; it's mostly just pure stubborn refusal to admit that so much has changed. He's been forced to make other compromises, other adjustments - this, at least, is something he wants to keep the same, if only to make himself feel better.

But if it makes him feel better, it also makes him feel tired, and crashing hard is weirdly at odds with the fact that the last half a year hasn't really done much for making him feel less paranoid about anything. So as soon as he feels the weight of someone else on the bed, his eyes snap open and he sits straight up, already instinctively groping beside him for his weapon -

And then he blinks and stares for a long moment as his mind tries to shuffle things around and resolve the dilemma.]

...just you.

[Okay. Hi, Souji.

He immediately flops backwards to hit the pillow again, because man, being upright when he doesn't need to be feels like a lot more effort than his body is capable of right now.]

....Who else would it be? I'm pretty sure any intruders would be dead before they could step foot in the room.

[not that souji would expect any less from saitou than to reach for his sword, of course. the both of them had always been keen enough to be on guard even during their restful hours, after all. he wonders though, what sort of sound sleep saitou must have been in to not react at all until he was on the bed?

he'd thought that just entering the room would be enough to rouse his comrade from his slumber. though, surprising as it may be, souji doesn't seem to raise question otherwise. he sighs a bit, shifting to get a bit more comfortable — he's a little too tired to care much about questioning it any more deeply. instead, he closes his eyes and waits for the inevitable response.]

[To the fact that Souji's in the wrong bed, at least, Saitou doesn't actually have a response, aside from shifting a bit to find a more comfortable position.

It's been a while since this has happened, but it's funny how quickly it had become normal, when Souji had just casually decided to start crashing on Saitou's bed in Zelien rather than the one across the room (which he'd claimed quickly enough despite his own key unlocking a different room completely).

And his lack of presence had never really stopped feeling uncomfortable, after Souji disappeared.

So he doesn't comment on Souji's choice of sleeping arrangements, or even on the fact that Souji's elbows always manage to find their way over the halfway point on the bed, but instead asks, albeit a bit tiredly -]

Did you find anything of note?

[For all that Saitou's been making a point of slowly mapping out as much of the city as possible, and getting to know it well enough not to be taken by surprise by whatever it contains - it's a slow job, and he's not about to delude himself into thinking they're anywhere close to finished.]

Not really.

[well, that's what he says, at least. what he really means is "nothing of note for us personally," but he'll detail that in a minute.]

There's a place that looks almost like Shimabara. I didn't look very closely at it, but I'm sure you can imagine what's going on there. [he'd meandered through porta caelestis for the first time, and it definitely carried a similar atmosphere, for whatever it's worth. even if it's not his particular ideal way of spending his time, souji finds the fact that it's there at all something of a refreshing change. you know, when compared to the no fun allowed vibe of haven, at least. with a sigh, he adds:] I'm sure Shinpachi-san will be glad to hear it.

There was something in the materials they gave us when we arrived -

[What did they call it again. Oh, right.]

"Relaxation services."

[He still doesn't know why they bothered, because Saitou is the kind of prude who would like to believe that surely there aren't that many people who need ten of the damned things for free. Stop freeloading and buy your own hookers!]

I'd think new arrivals would have more pressing things to worry about.

You'd think, wouldn't you?

[the way he says it almost implies that it should be accompanied by a shrug... but souji can't be bothered to move in any other way than to try and get more comfortable.

it would probably be easily solved by just getting into his own damn bed, but that requires far more effort than he's willing to put forth right now. as long as saitou's not shoving him off the bed, he'll elect to stay put.]

Can we blame them, though? It's not like there's much going on right now. And anyway, it's really no fun to be so uptight all the time. [it's probably a strange stance to take, and even souji knows that. he's more than aware of the fact that there isn't much to be trusted. everything is too calm, and he knows the other shoe is going to have to drop eventually...

but the same, after so long of dealing with haven and the lack of any way to really unwind (unless one counted taking out monsters in the subway tunnels, but there are very few that would), he kind of gets it. with nothing else even happening or information to really find, souji knows other people won't worry about more pressing things. that's just how people are.]

[Shrug already heard and imagined. He knows Souji well enough to not need to see the gesture to assume it.]

I don't think fun is what we should be worrying about here.

[Even if he does realize that...that won't really change things. By all surface appearances, this place is far safer and more benign than Zelien; Saitou may not be ready to trust it, but of course people are going to want to take advantage of it. (Sigh. Heisuke.)

But he's tasted the kind of failure that comes of letting things happen, failing to stop things - and not wanting to ever let that happen again makes it hard for Saitou to just relax and accept that they're relatively safe for the time being. If something happens, and it's something he could've prevented if he were only more vigilant...]

I'm not really worried about it. That kind of defeats the purpose of it being fun, you know.

[it's a statement that's make to be contrarian, and souji knows it. his words come out alongside a yawn, an ever-present reminder of the exhaustion he isn't quite giving into yet. nice as it would be to do just that, taking the time to converse, even casually (or maybe especially casually) with saitou isn't something he really wants to pass up.

things remain strange, after all. not because they're laying there like that — it's just about everything else, including their topic of conversation. it's not as if souji doesn't know that fun shouldn't be their top priority... but the truth of the matter is that he needs it a little more than he cares to legitimately admit. downtime in haven was so minimal that it was nearly nonexistent; even when there wasn't a crisis of sorts, every day was a concern about the next meal, the next arrivals, and even the next means of simple things like bathing sometimes. souji doesn't want to live like that, with no leisure, not again.

...even if he's fully aware this oddly calm and peaceful state of affairs will likely crumble soon enough. after a moment, he'll get a little more serious and ask the question that sits at the edge of his tongue.]

I know Hajime-kun has more important things to do, but was there time for that kind of thing in Zelien at all? Nights to sit back with a drink and just do something normal? [it's curious, and almost melancholic simply because he didn't, though if he hears a yes... chances are souji will be both bitter and jealous to some extent.]

[Saitou's just bad at fun. And as much as he wants it the same way Souji does, on some level - just the relaxation and the chance to enjoy his friends' company and not think about who's dying by whose hand and how much he's failed everyone this time -

The nagging thought that that's when things will go wrong again won't leave him alone.]

A place for that appeared sometimes, though it usually wasn't there.

[Drinks, entertainment. About as close to Shimabara as western anything got, really.

But there's something rather awkward about the pause after he says that, until he finishes -]

And then everyone who drank one night went mad and tried to kill anyone they came across.

[Ah. There it is.]

Troublesome... It would be like that, wouldn't it? It sounds like it was at least better than nothing at all sometimes, though.

[there's a definite bitterness that drips in his tone. souji isn't really jealous of that sort of outcome (not when it could have easily been just the same in haven), but it's everything else that surrounds it. it's the fact that there were at least minimal reprieves in zelien, and that there were people to share it with. souji had made his fair share of acquaintances in haven, even a few who ended among his trustworthy types...

but it's not quite the same as having the shinsengumi around. he largely only had chizuru until her departure; everyone else had come and gone pretty quickly by comparison. it's hard not to feel jealous and embittered to some degree, even when he didn't always know the extent of things that came with that situation. but despite that, despite how shitty it feels, and how much worse he thinks haven may have been (because there was no reprieve, ever), this isn't the pity olympics. souji isn't really out to compare who has it worse, or gain any extra attention for the things that did happen.]

I guess it doesn't matter much now, anyway.

I preferred when our enemies were straight-forward about their intentions to when they offered the facade of reprieve only as bait for such a trick.

[It makes it an awful lot more difficult for him to look at anything here and take it for what it is, after all. And beyond even that...Saitou is earnest to a fault. There are few things he dislikes as much as a lack of honesty about one's intentions.

But Souji is right about one thing: it doesn't really matter now.

He closes his eyes, a soft sigh escaping him. A well-honed sense of paranoia might be an important survival skill, especially if this place has anything in common with the one he just escaped from...but jumping at shadows is tiring.]

Wouldn't it be something if they really weren't our enemies at all, then?

[it's a laughable prospect, he knows. it one souji would be hard-pressed to believe without an actual literal metric fuckton of proof. he knows that saitou is no different in that regard.

neither of them have any reason to actually believe that, after all.

still, even if his skepticism about the situation is real, he's just tired enough to entertain the thought. could a possibility exist that their prior situation had jaded them that much, and they're overthinking it? the idea isn't one he'd place any credence in beyond the current idle thought. it's not like it really matters one way or the other, after all.]

Perhaps.

[Not that Saitou sounds like he's even entertaining the possibility.]

I will need more to be convinced of that than burgers and..."power points."

[Why the hell was that speech even called a power point. It was neither powerful nor was there a blade in sight.]

[at least he's not the only one considering it. that gives souji a little more ease of mind, if nothing more than on principle.]

Mmm, right, right. They'd be pretty foolish if they thought those sorts of things would get us on their side so easily, don't you think? I guess it doesn't matter much, though. We'll just have to be ready, and if they mean it... it'll come to light soon.

Something like that. [thinking about this kind of stuff isn't exactly his strong suit, but he's not blind to the facts and the logical course of events that should follow.]

If it doesn't come to light, it may fall to us to unearth it.

[But that's going to be...an undertaking, to put it lightly. Espionage may be more Saitou's speed than Souji's, but finding things out here is a far cry from the kinds of information gathering that Saitou was entrusted with in Kyoto. Finding out more about what's going on behind the closed doors of CERES facilities is going to take a lot more than just stroking Itou's ego a little bit, after all.

(Though whatever it takes may ultimately prove to be less distasteful. Who knows?)

But god, thinking about how to get an inside look at anything here is complicated and who knows where to start when he barely understands what a computer is and he is so damned tired right now.]

That does sound like a job we'd get stuck with, isn't it?

[he heaves a tired sigh, shifting his weight on the bed a little. it's probably only by some miracle that he's even still awake and conversing now. once this conversation ends, it's very well likely that he's going to wind up sleeping for a full day, like he did when he was still noticeably failing health. whatever — it's not like they have urgent patrols right now anyway, so souji doesn't consider it the biggest issue.]

It's not like these types really like to tell us what's going on, after all.

[Souji's weight?

Totally not completely on his half of the bed right now.

Saitou? Having extreme difficulty finding it in him to be bothered by it (or to wonder about how quickly half of his own bed is now, even in his own mind, "Souji's half"). It's not as if he finds this comforting, after he'd gotten used to it in the wake of his own death in Zelien and then lost it, it's just that -

- he totally finds it comforting and there's no way he's ever saying that out loud.]

Don't think of it as a job we're stuck with. Think of it as being proactive about our own wellbeing.

Right, right.

[he knows saitou's right about that much, and he lacks any sort of real energy to argue it anyway. the longer he lays like this, the more comfortable he gets — it's probably why he hasn't even noticed how much he crept onto saitou's side of the bed.

...or maybe he still just doesn't really care enough to follow the rules. it makes two of them, though, who take strange comfort in this positioning but dare not say a word. why bother? it doesn't really need to be, after all.]

Proactive or not... It was going to fall to us anyway. The Shinsengumi always does the messy jobs. [and he's sure it'll get messy.]

All the more reason to meet it head on rather than wait for the worst to land on our doorstep.

[He rolls over, from his back onto his side - which doesn't quite put him neatly to the side of the halfway point, either, but Souji's the one who decided to drop into his bed and if he has a problem, well, that's not Saitou's problem.]

I wonder how much we'll be able to do before that happens.

[if it bothers souji, it doesn't show at all (likely because it doesn't). he remains where he is, somewhat still and fairly comfortable, despite the sigh he emits. they could do all the legwork they want, but souji's pretty sure they're going to be stuck waiting on a lot things before that.]

We'll find out.

[There could be an ominous element to that, were he saying it under other circumstances.

Right now, though, he just sounds tired.]

It's something we can worry about after sleeping, right?

[he can hear how tired saitou is, and honestly, it's a work of miracles that souji hasn't passed out mid-conversation. he actually might, if they go much longer.]

I suppose it is.

[It's hard for him to admit even this much, even as tired as he is, because once the can of worms has been opened Saitou's pride wants them to damned well finish with it.

Despite how hard it is for him to keep his eyes open.]

Let's do that then. It's not like we're solving much like this, anyway.

[souji's not exactly thrilled about it either, but their other options for the moment aren't exactly appealing. besides, who wants to hear hijikata bitch and moan if they end up not being well-rested when they need to be?]

[Invoking Hijikata's complaints if they're not rested up, honestly, would be incredibly effective here, after certain lectures Saitou received in Zelien.]

Fine.

[As grudging as he sounds about having to drop it and go back to sleep, the fact that his eyes are already closed before he says it ought to say something.]

[that makes two of them, considering it's only a minute or so before souji's breathing gets a little heavier as he drifts off...

and will very well likely end up with limbs on saitou at some point. because that's totally how restful sleep works. unknowing saitou body pillow.]

[It won't wake Saitou up, and in fact, he probably won't even seem that miffed about it whenever they do finally come to.

Though he might pretend to be for appearances' sake.]

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not enough coffee for a clever log title (closed)

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