[ step right up ϟ open ]

[kirkwalled]

Who: Hawke + Merrill + Anyone who comes to visit their balloon booth
When: IC: 6/9
Where: The Cultural Festival
What: Hawke and Merrill try to run a con. It goes just as well as you'd expect.
Rating/Warning: None!

---

HAWKE AND MERRILL

[ today at the cultural festival, there is a certain booth crammed in amongst all the other booths. it's bright and colorful and very much open to the public. the most noticeable thing about the booth are the stuffed plushes surrounding the edges -- plushes of mosley, bellona, and all kinds of fantastical creatures (dragons, unicorns, three wolves howling at the moon, etc etc). on the wall of the booth and the main attraction of it, is a wall filled with different brightly colored balloons and a sign that reads “BALLOON GAME”. pretty straightforward, huh?

then there are the two manning the booth: hawke and merrill. hawke, just as scruffy as usual with a t-shirt that reads TRUST ME, I'M A DOCTOR and merrill, elfy and pure. as your character approaches, they'll catch a conversation between the two friends. ]

You can't just tell them how to play, Merrill. It's a whole process, you have to convince them! Let them figure it out themselves and say nothing while they do it.

— But Hawke, if we don't tell them how to win, how ever will they— [ merrill's voice lowers to a slightly muffled whisper. nevertheless, she isn't being too discrete. ] Oh, I see. It's a trick, isn't it? You're always thinking ahead, Hawke.

First, thank you, I try. Second, no, no. Not a trick. [ hawke, stop lying. ] A challenge! They have to use their wits. Will the dart pop the balloon? Will they pop enough to win the prize? Will they use all three chances wisely or have to pay to play again? Only the Maker knows, of course.

But we're hoping that the dart doesn't pop the balloon, yes?

[ does this question even require an answer, merrill? unfortunately, hawke's actual answer is drowned out by the buzz of the fair but their booth is open and they're waiting for any sort of customer so, uh...

... step right up? ]

HAWKE

[ as the day goes, hawke decides to give merrill a bit of a break (or told her to go enjoy herself at the festival because she kept BLOWING THE CON -- either one) and hawke takes over the booth completely. hawke is charming and personable to those who approach the booth and encourages multiple attempts to win a prize. surely, you'll get it next time! surely. she even lets a few people win (if only to keep up the integrity of their reputation).

but at one point during the festivities, anyone who comes across hawke will find her at the booth, sitting on the table and leaning against the booth wall, arms crossed over her chest and... asleep? yes, hawke is asleep on the job.

you're welcome to wake her up. or not. you do you, friend. ]

MERRILL

[ with the culture festival wrapping up, merrill found herself levied with the grand, insurmountable task of breaking down the booth. she had to be useful somehow, seeing as how every time she cut in during a transaction, she ended up ruining the con.

this would be easy (easier, at least) if the booth wasn't so— so fancy, but unfortunately, it was way too future-y sci-fi for merrill to figure out. there were hinges in places merrill didn't know hinges could even be, and merrill had forgotten to ask hawke for the instruction manual. she decided, then, to just wing it — she moves to a nearby hinged corner and begins to fold it, when suddenly, it electronically takes over and flips wildly, causing merrill to fall on her back. damn.

when she gets up, everything looks good except... oh, well, it looks like a plush got decapitated. the three wolf moon plush was now a two and a half wolf moon plush. she grasps the head tentatively, wondering what to do now, when she sees someone approaching. she scrambles to her feet, hoping it isn't hawke.

when she sees it isn't, she sighs, holding out the... head. ]

Ah... you wouldn't happen to want a headless wolf for your, um, collection, would you? I'll gladly give it to you if you help me fix — fix this.

[ she waves over to the booth rather sadly. ]

Comments

whoa i thought i replied to this SORRY

[kirkwalled]

[ and hawke will just hand over the three darts with an amused look on her face. sure, you're totally older than her! okay, friend! ]

I suppose you do have the hair coloring of an old geezer, perhaps I should call you "gramps"?

[ but yeah, go ahead and try your darts, jack. there is no way this could go poorly at all! ]

[kirkwalled]

Well, as many up to three. If you pop all three, you're sure to win the grand prize. Something like that.

[ it sure was hawke's idea and she has put so much effort into rigging this game. balloons that aren't full, darts that are dull, the whole nine yards! she is getting a return for her investment, she is. ]

Though, I'm not quite sure about the whole capable thing. You are rather... blond, serah.

[ what does him being blond have to do with how capable charlie is?! who knows, but that's what hawke's sticking to, for some reason. ]

[kirkwalled]

Or... not very adept. Are you a robot, ser? You look like you could be a robot. Merrill, we might be in the process of being scammed by a robot.

[ it's all said very dramatically too but hawke still holds out her hand for zer0's credit card anyway. she is positively shameless! ]

That'll be thirty credits for the game, by the way.

[kirkwalled]

[ hawke is the bad cop to merrill's good cop -- or the... bad carnie to the good carnie? either way, hawke's the asshole here and just gives a rather unimpressed look when kashuu hits the mark. she's calling haxx! what a cheater! ]

Oh, please. A child could make that, while blind! A blind child! I want to see you make the other two, really give it your all. Aren't you supposed to be good at sharp objects, Kashuu?

[ hawke, so mean... so cruel... such a dick... ]

[kirkwalled]

Sacrificing poor griffons to the Blights! Do the Wardens truly have no shame?

[ this is grey warden trash talk hour, apparently. but it's true, hawke and her weird connections did help in the acquiring for these... beauties... and hawke just raises her eyebrows in surprise. ah, she didn't expect that question. ]

Let's just say they were acquired naturally. How does the saying go? "They fell off the back of a truck!" Something like that. It was all quite legal, I assure you. I mean, unless you're opposed to winning a prize that no one was doing anything with anyway, hm?

[ the question is addressed to dorian, of course. do you not want your sketchily acquired stuffed plush of mosley? are your standards truly so high? ]

[kirkwalled]

[ exactly! hawke is a pure, delicate spirit who just wants to run a game for kids. ]

Yeah, definitely not. No way.

[ but it's all said in a kind of bored tone and hawke just watches as the dart flies towards the balloon, it looks like it's going to make it and...!

... and it bounces off the balloon? it just sort of falls against it and drops to the floor, leaving to balloon unpopped and the dart just sitting on the ground uselessly. wow. that was something else. ]

Huh. That was strange.

[kirkwalled]

[ chibi... your hat is a world of mysteries. hawke is actually just gonna leave the game running to merrill while she stares at chibi's hat and, huh.

can she steal the hat? she kind of wants to steal the hat. ]

Have you ever fit a cat under your hat?

[kirkwalled]

[ hawke's going to take a moment to thank the maker for all of these gullible saps in cerealia as she charges the thirty credits to mitsuru's account and hands over three darts. three dull darts too, because this is a rigged game full of rigged people. well, not mitsuru but hawke is definitely a rigged person as much as a person can be.

she's still sort of blatantly checking out mitsuru though, even as she leads her through the game. sorry, mitsuru. hawke's a bit of a dog. ]

You do look like a very skilled woman, messere. Someone very experienced. A woman of her years, as they say.

[ hawke, chill. ]

[kirkwalled]

[ that's pretty much the same for hawke! someone from thedas is yelling at them? must be a day that ends in y, of course. so hawke doesn't do much other than raise an eyebrow at cassandra's approach and lift a hand to give a lazy wave. they really don't look like they're professional at all, with what hawke sitting cross legged on the table and the two of them looking like they're really just hanging out more than anything else. ]

Exactly. A very simple game of skill. Take the dart. [ hawke picks up a dart from the small pile sitting in front of her and tosses it towards the wall of balloons. it surprisingly hits, giving a small noise as the balloon pops. ] Pop the balloon. Do it three times and you win a prize.

Nothing wrong with that at all, hm, messere?

[animated]

[ Charlie takes the darts, thanking Merrill for them. He’s looking them over, pressing a fingertip to the supposedly pointy end and is not at all surprised to find that it’s not sharp at all, when Hawke makes her remark. He glances up at her, eyebrows raised. ]

Did you seriously just make a blond joke? Oh my God, what year is it? [ That is a cultural phenomenon he does not need to revisit, thank you very much.

He figures he may as well start out legitimately, and considering his weapons of choice are throwing knives, he’s got pretty good aim. (He’d rather not totally lean on his magic, after all.) He lets the first dart fly, and actually manages to hit a balloon, good for him!

It doesn’t pop, though, because of course it doesn’t. He cants his head and gives both the ladies behind the booth a Look. ]

[kirkwalled]

Nice beard, ser.

[ that's all hawke says as phoenix approaches and actually, she has a sudden idea as merrill asks phoenix if he wants to play that makes her light up. ]

We'll let you play a round, three darts for three chances to win the grand prize for a small fee. You give me your beard.

[ hawke, why do you even want the beard?? ]

[kirkwalled]

[ oh, that was evil, merrill. hawke shoots her a look before looking back to maya and smiling cheerily. ]

Oh, you know. You throw the dart at the balloon, you pop the balloon, and if you do it three times you win the grand prize!

[ hawke even points upwards to one of the big giant stuffed dragons hanging from their booth. amazing... truly incredible. ]

All for the low, low, low price of forty credits.

[sayonaradumbass]

[Kaneda curses, so loudly, and throws down another dart on the counter of their little booth with finality.]

What the fuck is that?! What kind of shitty stakes do you guys have for this thing?

[annoyed as hell and suspicious, he tries again.]

[adornmental]

[DON'T TRAP HIM WITH EVIL BLOOD MAGIC he's a pure bean, too pure for this world--

Too ready to show off because bad carnie Hawke gets under his skin so easily, so easily.]

I'm good with swords! It's totally different!

[HUFFS AND PUFFS but he's got standards to meet now, so with one dart in each hand, he zeroes in his focus and goes for a double shot, one right after the other in a quick one-two motion.]

[bewrightback]

Um.... Thanks? [He scratches his head nervously at the comments that the beard drew in.

It's honestly not worth that much. I still need it for the mock trial, but maybe I can figure out a workaround. I... I have no idea what she wants with it, but...

After a moment of thought, Phoenix nods at the lady's offer.]

You know, that sounds fair enough. I'll give this game a try! Um... your fee... [He says as silently removes the beard and hands it over to Hawke.]

[feminine_carnivore]

[ Someday Chie might end up seeing behind that curtain and she will be...

probably pretty impressed.

But for now it's a different emotion altogether on her face when she sees the thing just bounce off the balloon like that. Stuff like that isn't supposed to happen. Plus, she threw so hard, that dart should have gone through the back of the booth or something, not just weakly fall away!! ]

W-What just happened?! I hit it dead on!

[ Chie looks from the balloon to Hawke, then to the balloon and then back again like three or four times before she decides-- ]

I want to try again, please! [ And she slaps down her credit card again. ]

[faceplate]

[ excuse you!! they're not a robot. probably not, anyway. zero doesn't take the darts, nor do they offer their card. ]

Can I use my own?

[bheidh]

( Thankfully for Leliana she doesn't smell like farts, though she is rich. At least because she hasn't spent any of that credit that she's been given. Until now.

Scathing remarks aside, though funnily enough Hawke's comment is on point considering her new 'job', Leliana looks between Merrill and Hawke before handing over her card. It all seems simple enough )

How many prizes have you given?

( She takes a moment before aiming up, throwing the first dart and- not popping the balloon. Which Leliana finds odd, considering it was a perfect hit. It should have burst )

[outcast]

[ SWING AND A MISS sorry, kaneda, it looks like the stars aren't aligning for you. that one manages to connect, but it bounces right off as if it hit a wall. ]

My! What terrible luck! I can't imagine how that happened.

[ can you really not, merrill.. ]

[outcast]

How utterly strange! I wonder how something like that was possible. Did you see that, Hawke? You saw it, right? This man must have abysmal luck.

[ because luck was definitely in play here, no question about that. ]

You have two more chances. I'm sure you'll get one this time. And manage to pop it.

[outcast]

Do you have darts with you, perchance? I believe it would be left to Hawke's discretion, but I can't see why you shouldn't be allowed to use your own.

[ merrill has no idea that this means zer0 may just fucking shoot the balloons. ]

[outcast]

Flip it over. Yes. Right.

[ she'll flip that table like a flip phone, then place her hands on her waist, staring down at it. right. now what? ]

Ah, where do we go from here?

[outcast]

[ somehow, some way, kashuu manages to pop both of them. maybe it was the sheer force behind his throws, but they explode into a cacophony of rubber confetti and terrible popping noises. merrill looks ecstatic! ]

Oh! You've won! Did you see, Hawke? He's won!

[ she's jumping a bit, so happy for kashuu! probably happier than hawke. ]

[outcast]

Really? I'd say I'd have to go occasionally, but I'm not exactly impressed with the pleasure district. It's.. strange.

[ and horrible. she turns to leliana, a smile on her face. ]

Oh, a few candies here and there. I brought some especially for those who don't exactly win. Do you like cherry or strawberry, tarlan?

[ consolation prizes, that is. they've given out consolation prizes. ]

[outcast]

Ah, yes, the fee! It's fifty credits.

[ as it's later on in the festival, merrill and hawke have become concerned with.. breaking even. the prices have been hiked significantly to allow for that. merrill's smile is smaller than usual and a bit unsure. hopefully phoenix doesn't realize that something is.. horribly amiss. ]