[And that helps, too. It doesn't cheer him up, and it's not funny, but Leon hadn't really thought before about how it would feel to have someone outraged on his behalf—not only his. Angry for all of them. A surge of gratitude rises in his chest, tinged with the heat of his own anger. How dare she? Everything that had happened to all of them, how dare she? What kind of world lets that happen? Where's the justice, huh?!
It's better than feeling frozen over about it. Leon watches Rise's hands shake and feels his own ball into fists, twitching in sympathy.]
Who the fuck knows? —She's sick. She did it just to hurt us. 'Cuz she's obsessed with hurting the whole world as much as she can before she checks out—she already did, that's what I heard, after me, but not until she took out nine of those fifteen people you were just lookin' at and a bunch of the rest of the world too. —That thing you're lookin' at right now, that ain't even half of it! That's bad enough, right? That's what you'd think! But nothing was bad enough for her! She took our families—she took hostages and told us if we didn't kill each other we'd never find out what happened to 'em 'cuz we'd be locked up in that shitty school with that shitty bear for the rest of our lives!
[He pauses for just a second to take a breath, uncertain himself if he's finished ranting, until suddenly he's not.]
—I wasn't gonna do it. I still wasn't gonna do it. You've gotta believe me, I never once thought I was gonna cave in to that until . . .
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It's better than feeling frozen over about it. Leon watches Rise's hands shake and feels his own ball into fists, twitching in sympathy.]
Who the fuck knows? —She's sick. She did it just to hurt us. 'Cuz she's obsessed with hurting the whole world as much as she can before she checks out—she already did, that's what I heard, after me, but not until she took out nine of those fifteen people you were just lookin' at and a bunch of the rest of the world too. —That thing you're lookin' at right now, that ain't even half of it! That's bad enough, right? That's what you'd think! But nothing was bad enough for her! She took our families—she took hostages and told us if we didn't kill each other we'd never find out what happened to 'em 'cuz we'd be locked up in that shitty school with that shitty bear for the rest of our lives!
[He pauses for just a second to take a breath, uncertain himself if he's finished ranting, until suddenly he's not.]
—I wasn't gonna do it. I still wasn't gonna do it. You've gotta believe me, I never once thought I was gonna cave in to that until . . .