[OPEN] all of our friends were here

[covenantal]

Who: Yu Narukami covenantal & you!
When: IC 7/19 - 7/23, the duration of the event.
Where: Out and about, listed below.
What: Like more than a few, Yu’s coping with dying, the fact that he can’t touch anyone (or anything warm) without seeing a memory, and a ghostly new fox companion that has some ideas of its own (like sharing the plot of Persona 4 with you!).
Rating/Warning: Possible mentions of death and gore.

---

[ A. when you say you won't forget me ]

[ Yesterday was a long day.

Catching up with his roommates was the hardest. Rise had burst into sobs the moment she'd seen him. Dipper had been cautious and quiet and tried to brace him, which he shouldn't've ever felt like he had to. And Yosuke... Yosuke had been Yosuke, pulling him into his arms and clinging on like that was the difference between life and death, like he could go back and unwrite the explosion that had taken them all out by force of his grip alone.

But he'd learned one thing from Rise and Yosuke, and especially from Yosuke: weird things happen when he touches people, now. And it's not just people. When he'd finally gotten to take a shower to wash off the grime of the prison, it'd happened again. Memories. Important ones.

Figuring out the common link between three wasn't that hard, so today he's outside on his CereVice, making a call to his boss trying to explain why he's not coming to work. It doesn't seem to be going well. He sounds apologetic, but also distracted, which likely explains why he happens to bump arms with you as he passes. This probably wouldn't be a big deal, but it makes Yu miss a step and drop his CereVice as the memory takes hold. ]

[ B. well I can tell you that's untrue ]

[ It's when the fox appears next to his bed that things start getting even stranger.

He spends some time trying to coax it towards him after a brief period of just watching it curiously, and when that fails, he decides to go about his day instead. Despite the fact that getting within ten feet of it gives him a splitting headache, he heads to Ardeo's shrine to see if that will put his fox more at peace, but it doesn't seem to do much of anything. At another time, he tries a cafe, and ends up trying to tempt his fox with bits of food. To any passers by, it will seem as if he's offering food to nothing, though he doesn't seem to mind if anyone stares. ]

I'm not going to hurt you.

[ he says to the fox, which still won't look at him, and in fact tries to duck under a nearby chair. Yu shakes his head and gets to his feet. If anyone's watching, he'll offer an apologetic smile. ]

Sorry about that. He seems pretty shy.

[ C. cause every day since you left me ]

[ The foxes are pretty skittish by nature. Yu's continual attempts at being friendly don't seem to help his very much; in fact, it just keeps ducking away whenever he tries. Unfortunately for Yu, this happens more than once when he's out in public. Though you might hear a wait! and see a concerned looking teenage boy, what you won't see is the fox that's just darted behind your leg and curled its tail around your calf. ]

[ C1. ]

[ Pick this option if you want a good, happy, or light-hearted memory of any kind! These memories can either be from his canon or from Cerealia; feel free to specify which, but otherwise, the memories will be random. ]

[ C2. ]

[ Pick this option if you want a bad, depressing, or painful memory of any kind! These memories can either be from his canon or from Cerealia; feel free to specify which, but otherwise, the memories will be random. ]

[ D. I've thought less and less of you ]

[ By the end of the week, Yu is noticing something very wrong.

There's something he can't remember.

And the only reason he knows that is because of a picture.

His roommates might find him sitting on the couch in their apartment staring at it with a troubled look on his face, but he doesn't stay for very long. A profound restlessness drives him out and into the park, where he wanders for a while, only belatedly realizing he accidentally brought the picturing with him.

Eventually, he settles beneath a tree that's near a pond. His fox is nearby, but not too close, curled up in a tight and unhappy ball. He sits with his legs crossed and his fingers laced, his thumb idly tracing the side of his hand as he stares out over the water. The picture frame is in his lap. ]

Comments

[youraffection]

[ Has he, though? Yosuke forces his gaze back to the other boy, thoughtful for a moment. What...exactly does this make them?

How does it change how he sees Yu? Yu is...dependable. Yeah. Resourceful, smart, kind of weirdly funny and equal parts frustrating when he gets around to it, hard-working, dedicated, kind...generous. A lot of things. Really, the more Yosuke thinks about it, the list can go on and on. He tries to find a place to shove "kind of gay" in there as well. Does it change anything?

His brows furrow. His best friend...this guy--yeah, Yu's his best friend.

He...he likes guys. In a way that isn't just hanging out on Sunday mornings.

Is Yosuke okay with that? He accepted that Kanji might be. He's okay with that.

Is this...any different? ]

...Really?

[ Yosuke fidgets again, pulling himself out of his introspection to reflect, instead, on the memory. Clearing his mind, trying to push past some of his automatic responses is...difficult, to say the least. Thinking about it--it's weird, it's...it's not what he expects. Is that why it's weird? Because he expects something else? Isn't...unfair expectations what he's always griping on about in regards to adults and kids?

Hm...

But the scene, the uncertainty...that's not a side he's used to seeing on Yu. Not often. ]

I mean...you seemed kinda...I don't know.

[ C'mon, Yosuke. Yu has already seen your shadow. He's seen your secrets, the feelings you didn't want to admit to and he didn't judge you for it. Hell, he'd only known you for a couple of days at the time. The least he can do is show the same courtesy.

Yosuke sighs, slowly, as if giving his mind a moment to let all the words fall into proper order. ]

...It didn't really seem like a happy memory, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

[lethechained]

-- Really?

[ Her surprise is short-lived; almost immediately it shifts into concern and a prominent frown, as many things relating to memories and the manipulation thereof are wont to cause. ]

If the timing's the same, I doubt it's a coincidence. But-- that's a lot stranger than what's been happening to me. [ Which is weird to be able to say for once. Warmth? Really? What in the worlds...? ] What kind of memories have they been?

[sortileges]

[ He's keeping a careful eye on a bench nearby, finally setting the other down so hopefully he won't feel so dizzy and messed up. ]

Something, but I don't think it's anything important. [ Only that Uther is the King of Camelot and what colour dress Gwen wore last he saw her... nothing too bad. Yet. ]

What about you?

[meowbel]

[The more Mabel was thinking about this, the more this was bothering her. As she gave a small pout, it was hurting her brain just thinking about thinking she forgot something!

Clearly, her brain juices need to get a working because it certainly wasn't! However, if this Dipper was important to her, that just means she'll eventually remember at some point right?

Right??]

Strange? Like what? You mean whatever those Cerealia people are doing to messing around with us again? Man, don't they ever know when to quit?! It's bad enough we had to deal with whatever those cray cray robots and now this?!

[trueend]

[That is a good question. They look at their bird for a second, too, frowning.]

... I don't know. Maybe they ran away from something bad? And decided to hide with us.

[bewrightback]

[Phoenix looks towards the photo again as Yu draws attention to it, with a sympathetic frown. It really is the same as his own situation after all...]

The animal... Yes. I have a fox that's been following me around, although I haven't been able to see anyone else's. ...But it seems like something odd involving memories is happening whenever someone touches one.

[He pauses for a moment.]

Do you think that it's connected to the lost memories?

[pseudonyms]

[That poor fox. She doesn't say much to him coming home early because hey, even their leader's allowed a little bit of down time. She also doesn't waste time plopping down next to him and letting her legs dangle right in front of that fox. Hi fox.]

I had to leave my karaoke session early because my dance moves were way out of sync. [She looks as though she's pouting.] I can't figure out what's wrong either...maybe it's just an off-day. But now that I'm off I don't have anywhere else to be.

[coastal]

[A lot of taboos are being broken today.

Because in turn, Lili feels her heart ache. To see such things happen to people that she knows, even if only vaguely or through Rise's memories, it's hard for her to wrap her head around. There's so much distress, so much fear, so much worry, and - embarrassment at how much her emotions are ruling her at the moment - that she's honestly going to bury her face into the front of Yu's shirt, head ducked and breathing ragged.

Her fingers cling onto his jacket. He's alive. He's breathing.

Such a person shouldn't be taken from the world like that.

Her tears still run but at least she isn't screaming anymore, but rather when she speaks again, it's soft. Fearful.]

Why would you....

Apologize to me?

[mermaiding]

Ah, like something from a romance! [But her answering smile is sly, teasing and she hums in approval.] You play these games well, Yu.

[More animal talks though. Her hum turns thoughtful and she shakes her head] 'Why not'? It is something else to annoy us with. Ah, but, the fact they are all injured... That worries me...

Animals are easy. Elements, yes? Learned about elements before, way way back. Know that much. I am water, of course. [She flips her hair over one shoulder with an easy arrogance and pride. Because of COURSE she's water, what else would she be?? Thanks to the Bridge dumping them all in the forest before and being split up, she figured out the elements thing from there.] Bird is probably air, of course.

[covenantal]

[ Well. He'll let the topic shift to the animals, since it's the more serious topic, and also, he's really not trying to flirt with her...

He nods again at her deduction, smiling slightly at her haughty air. ] Of course. I know how much your connection to Maris means to you. Anyway, if the animals are due to our elements, then my fox is due to my connection to Ardeo. I'm fire, after all. That just leaves earth.

[ Quietly, thoughtfully: ] I'm worried about it, too. If the animals represent something about our connection to the spirits, why are they all hurt? Maybe we should visit a shrine.

[mermaiding]

[It's alright, you don't have to be trying. Oona will pick up the flirting slack for both of them.

The mention of Maris flusters her a little though, and she scratches the back of her neck with an air of sheepishness.] Ah? Yes... Suppose that is obvious... [Anyone that's spent 5 minutes with Oona would probably be able to deduce that her connection with water would inevitably endear Maris to her as well.]

...But, you do not seem like a fire person. They are more... loud, and running into things, and obnoxious. At least, that is what I would think.

[Actually that's a good question, re: the connection with the spirits and the state of their animals. Suddenly way more invested than she was before, Oona turns a startled, worried look to her goat. Even though she brought it up herself first in a way, she hadn't really thought of a connection between the two.] Eh? Ah... The shrines--If the animals are injured, does it mean our connections are no good? Would they answer us even?

[covenantal]

You don't think so? I thought I had a pretty fiery personality. [ ... is?? he kidding?? said with a kind of light, mild air that makes it hard to tell if he's joking or just telling a bad pun.

Her worried look gets his gaze to follow hers, even if he can't see her goat. ]

Well, the last time I visited a shrine--

[ --was with...

he manages to continue smoothly and without a hitch. ]

--was with a friend, and we received a blessing then. Why don't we visit Maris's shrine together? We could bring an offering with us.

[mermaiding]

[GIVES HIM A WEIRD LOOK.] That is joke, yes? You are more like ice! Need to be ice element. [And then she looks ridiculously, stupidly pleased with herself and blurts out:] Because, you are 'too cool!'

[GOD SHE'S SO GREAT SHE CRACKS HERSELF UP.

oh right serious conversations are happening here too. She hesitates slightly but then nods]

Alright. Suppose. [Oona's still a little reluctant though, mostly because she doesn't want to know if he DOESN'T show up.] What kind of blessing?

1/2

[covenantal]

[ she thinks he's cool. holy shit, that was so cute. ]

[covenantal]

[ Yu briefly passes a hand over his mouth, which does nothing to hide the flicker flash of his sudden grin, there and gone in favor of a quieter smile, accompanied with a faint huff of breath that could pass for a very quiet laugh. ]

You think so? [ He props his hand on his hip, his smile softening his eyes. ] You know, it's a shame Maris isn't the spirit of sweetness. You'd be a perfect fit.

[ Because that was a kind thing to say, he thinks. And cute, but he doesn't say that second thing. ]

Anyway, the blessing just made us feel refreshed. We should bring something we think Maris would like.

[mermaiding]

Wha-- [Her face turns red and she huffs] Is not sweet! Was being funny! Ahh, you are stupid! [She shoves at him, but it's more playful than anything serious, more flustered than actually angry.

Something Maris would like...] Fish! [What Maris would like, Oona. Not you. She looks thoughtful, frowning.] At least, that would make sense, yes? Ehh, I am not so close to him that I would know...

And if he does not like it, will just eat it myself! It is, ehh... win-win, yes?

[covenantal]

[ For a long moment, Yu says nothing. Just stares at Yosuke quietly, expressionlessly, pale and insubstantial and unresponsive.

It didn't really seem like a happy memory.

It was ... the second time he'd asked Minato on a date. Minato had said yes. That should have been happy. It had also been on the heels of the labyrinth, and Dipper's death. He could easily just say that was why.

He knows that's not why.

This conversation keeps veering into territory he's not ready for. From the moment Yosuke came to his doorway, this conversation has been a thing he could never have been ready for. Coming out to his best friend was hard enough. Inadvertently admitting past feelings for his best friend was much worse. But confronting the fact that he hadn't been entirely happy in the relationship, with someone he knows isn't even completely comfortable with his (at least to Yosuke) new-found sexuality?

Yu opens his mouth very slightly and pulls in a slow, silent breath. ]

... things were complicated, [ he finally murmurs, letting his gaze move away to fix sightlessly on a wall. ] I didn't often know how he felt. Actually, that conversation was the first time I found out he was even comfortable with me.

[youraffection]

[ Yeah. It's a helluva lot to take in at once, or at all. A bunch of things he'd never considered about this guy are coming to light and he's not entirely sure what to make of them. Though, to some degree, actually...feeling what Yu had been feeling at the time makes it a little more tangible, a little easier to take in. He'll need time to sort out the other not so subtle implications of the memory. But...

But, you know...whatever. It's weird and he doesn't really get the appeal of guys, but he'd liked Kanji regardless, right? Yeah, he'd been kind of an ass, but he learned that it didn't change the way that Kanji felt about them. (Or maybe it was because he ended up liking Naoto in the end? Someone who, while by no means girly, was still female.)

Either way, it just feels off.

He frowns a little at that answer. He runs his hands up and down his thighs nervously for a moment, trying to debate whether or not it's worth saying anything at all. He doesn't make eye-contact. ]

...Don't take this the wrong way--

[ Which is always the best way to start a sentence. ]

--...but why would you ask someone out again if you don't even know if they like you? Like--ignoring the whole guy thing--yeah, I get you gotta take risks sometimes, but...isn't part of the point of doing the whole dating thing because of how you feel when you're around them? I mean...well, hell if I know, it's not like I've ever been on one, but it's like one part you think they're awesome and one part they make you feel good too, right?--sorry, I'm not making any sense, am I?

[covenantal]

[ Yu keeps up the habit of a stretch of silence before his replies, though this time he shifts. He plants both feet solidly on the floor and braces the heels of his palms on the bed, his gaze shifting to rest on the floor. It isn't quite brooding, though it's some close cousin of the feeling.

Talking about this with Yosuke is beyond surreal. Someone who... made him happy too--

God.

Slowly, he shakes his head. ]

You are. And I was happy with him. Sometimes things were great. [ His expression softens, into something that for a moment is pretty vulnerable and tender, though he swallows to push through the feeling in his chest and his face rearranges itself slightly. A gentleness remains, though not as raw.

I don't just like him. I'm falling in love with him, and I know he isn't ready to hear that. ]

... but Minato-san was a difficult person to read. He seemed hesitant for reasons I could never place. More than once, it made me think I should pull back, or even reconsider. Other times, he seemed happy with me, too.

[ Though even up through the end he'd never been entirely sure if that had been as more than a friend, even if Minato had been agreeing to go on dates with him. He'd had to hear through Kaz that the two of them dating made Minato happy. ]

I-- [ chose him ] --wanted to be with him because we seemed to work so well together, and he did make me happy.

[ He stops there, except his tone makes it clear he cut off the word but. There were a lot of those, in his relationship with Minato. ]

[youraffection]

[ Yosuke listens quietly because he knows he should. If the conversation were about a girl--about Rise, about Yukiko, and hadn't Yu spent a lot of time with Ai?--it'd be easier. Yosuke would want details, really. Did he make it to second base? What kind of stuff did you do on dates? What do you even do on a date with another guy? Probably not buy him flowers and go to a cheesy movie. That's...that's definitely not something Yosuke would do.

Hypothetically speaking, of course. Something which he has to mentally bash into the ground. He's just trying to relate, that's all.

It's hard. There's a roadblock with bright neon flashing lights that says "but he's a GUY" that's difficult to really drive around. It's the elephant in the room, but there's something about Yu that makes him feel like the guy deserves better than Yosuke's wall of prejudices. If he can learn to accept Kanji can't he for this friend too? Maybe if they'd been closer, the answer would come a lot easier...

(Or rather, if he remembered how close they'd actually become.)

He catches Yu's gaze uneasily and nods slowly. Whether it's nervousness of suspicion that's holding him back it's hard to tell, but he wears his heart on his sleeve. Something is egging at him. ]

...Y-Yeah. But, it's not your feelings that I'm talking about here... [ He rubs the back of his neck with a huff and turns his head. ] I mean...should you really have to question what someone special to you thinks about you?

[ Ah. He winces and shakes his head. ]

Ah--forget it. Sorry, I just--...I know that was really private and, uh...I...guess you weren't planning on telling me. Which is...fair. I mean...I can't say I really get it, but...you're still a good guy, so...you should be happy. You know?

[ He struggling, but he's trying, He's full of nervous energy and sitting in the chair is becoming an increasing trial. ]

So...for what it's worth, I'm sorry he's not here.

[covenantal]

[ Should you really have to question what someone special to you thinks about you?

Now Yu looks at Yosuke again, his eyes only a fraction wider than usual. Anyone who didn't know him very well would mistake it for a look of thoughtfulness, instead of the muted shock that it is.

Yes, it's easy to see that this is nagging at Yosuke. It's nagging at Yu, too. Something about the conversation feels odd, too, in a more than "I just accidentally came out to my best friend" way. Yu just keeps watching him, his brow drawing up slightly in one of his few emotional tells so far during this conversation. It does get to him, a little.

He did question it. Quite a bit. To the extent that he started to wonder if he was forcing himself on Minato. It had been so profoundly uncomfortable he'd abruptly pulled back, only for Minato to come out and ask him ... well, what Yosuke had seen in that memory.

... it feels strange, to think and wonder about this with Minato gone. Looking back now... he wonders what he'd do differently.

But Yosuke moves on, and Yu shakes his head quickly in response to what Yosuke says. ]

No, that's not it. I did plan on telling you. Just ... you haven't been here very long, and with everything that's happened, I hadn't had much of a chance. It's not the most casual thing to talk about, is it?

[ Said self-deprecatingly. Half of Yu's expression pinches into what could be a smile if the corner of his mouth lifted enough, but it doesn't quite make it. Still, he looks a little grateful. ]

Like I said, I'm managing. I'll be alright, Yosuke. I'm ... [ here he pauses, glancing askance. ] there's one more thing we should discuss, anyway. [ But then he looks at Yosuke solidly, unwilling to let his feelings make him quail. ] Please don't think anything has to change between us.

[ It's both an out for Yosuke, and, beneath that, a quiet plea. He knows there's more than one reason for his friend's nerves, and that has more than a little to do with the not-exactly-platonic feelings he dwelled on in that memory.

All he wants, in the end, is to be Yosuke's friend.

If it were...

He can't bring himself to think about the possibility of anything else right now. The loss of Minato hurts too much. All that matters for now is making sure they can still be what they are. ]

[youraffection]

Y-Yeah...right. That, uh, would've kinda been a strange opener.

[ He's trying to make light of it despite the fact they both know that's not entirely possible. Yosuke also knows he hasn't quite set the precedent for being the most understanding in situations like this, but he's not ready to admit it. He's still got a hefty amount of...he wouldn't call it pride, but something holding him back. Fear? That might be closer.

Of course, when Yu say's there's "one more thing" they need to talk about, Yosuke goes rigid immediately.

It's not...it's not that, is it? He's definitely not ready for that talk. No way. All the pent up energy settles under his skin and it looks like he might bolt if he needs to--

--but then Yu goes and says that, and it dissipates a bit.

The pause that settles between them makes Yosuke mentally hit himself. ]

Yeah--right. I mean, totally. We're...we're cool, man. It's fine.

[ Which is decidedly devoid of the solid but warm reassurance he usually has in regards to Yu. It's not unkind, but it is still uncertain. He does offer a smile. ]

...I know I'm shit at this, but you're still my friend...so...don't worry about that.

[covenantal]

[ Carefully, like he's easing his way through motions he's unused to, he wraps one arm around her shoulders, letting his other hand drop. Too much closeness wouldn't do. This much -- this much is what he'll give. He can't overwhelm her more than he already has. He's put Lili through so much. ]

... I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to have to go through that.

[covenantal]

[ Yu does let his expression lighten a little at that, even if there's still a crease in his brow. He really does appreciate that Yosuke is trying, even and especially in a situation as tense and difficult as this one. He still isn't smiling, but there isn't much reason to, at the moment.

When Yosuke goes rigid like that, Yu knows he was right to approach this the way he did.

It's almost strange to imagine this is the same person who used to blush around him. Who said No. Yeah. Me too. and meant it. Imagining a Yosuke who has feelings for him too is almost impossible when this Yosuke looks like he'd almost rather jump out the window than be having this conversation. Of course, that isn't ... really fair, is it. He and Yosuke had been here for a few months, the first time around. Yosuke doesn't remember anything now, and he's been here all of a few weeks.

What is he thinking? That he should give Yosuke time? To what? Come around? He feels a little ill.

... no, it's not that. Not like that, that. His heart and his head are all over the place. Just -- that Yosuke's been under an incredible amount of stress, and to suddenly be forced to process all of this... anyone would be shocked.

But there's something about the way Yosuke says it... it just doesn't sound like him. There's something missing. Does he feel that strange about Yu's feelings? The lack of warmth in Yosuke's voice really catches at Yu, making him pause over his next words and wonder if things really will be alright.

In the end, he just nods, deciding to accept Yosuke's reassurances at face value and not make this any harder on his friend than it already is. This isn't about his comfort level, anyway. He's not the one who just found out several incredibly shocking things.

For the first time, Yu finally smiles, small and bracing. ]

We're always going to be friends, Yosuke. I won't ever doubt that.

[youraffection]

[ He's not ready for this, but is there a time when he ever will be? He considers Yu his best friend by far, but there's still a lot he feels he needs to know about the guy and maybe about himself before this will become easier. He'd expected it from Kanji, so maybe that was easier.

Still, Yu's smile, small though it is, brings him some relief. He can see that he's holding back, but isn't Yosuke, too? Still, he's doing the best he can. ]

Yeah.

[ Yosuke let's out an awkward laugh. ]

M-Man...I can't even remember why I came here in the first place...I felt like I was gonna ask you something but, uh, it doesn't really feel that important anymore.