This sort of insecurity from Yu--he knows it exists, yes, but that it's so all encompassing, that it's been potentially trying to undermine his wellbeing. Shadow Yosuke stores it away for now. Mocking is what they do, of course, but Yu is almost a protected party. To deny that he's set on some sort of pedestal would be a lie. No matter how far they've come, Yosuke still admires the guy. There's always a glint in his eye and the sort of pride that comes with getting to call himself Yu's partner.
But this--
--golden eyes begin to go wide.
It gives me hope that maybe you'll change your mind.
He knows what that means. Yu doesn't need to continue, but he does anyway. He doesn't look down at his hand, the way Yu's thumb presses on his pulse, which quickens. He doesn't once tear his eyes away from Yu's face, even as he brings Yosuke's hand to his cheek.
I don't have a chance with you anymore.
A chance. Is that what they had before? What Yosuke can't remember? Not remembering this place has been slowly driving him crazy, he's expressed that plenty of times to others and most harshly to Rei. He hates it. He hates being behind, always a step behind. But...
Why can't I stop thinking about you?
His stomach churns, a mixture of anxiety and butterflies.
But I can't. ]
I-I--...
[ For a moment, he looks uncertain, wide-eyed and nervous. It's not news, not entirely with the knowledge of how Yu felt before, but to have any of those feelings resurface...that's what he's implying, isn't it? Even as a passing fancy, a whiplash from a difficult breakup. It's still-- ]
--I can't take it when you look at me like that.
[ He doesn't pull back, though, nor remove his hand from Yu's face. ]
It freaks me out...'cause I don't know what to do about it. It freaks me out 'cause I know something happened before, things I can't remember--and I really hate not remembering!
[ He does grit his teeth then, his hand mirroring the motion Yu had previously given his face, tightening. ]
I walk around knowing that I've done all this shit that I can't account for. And with you? I trusted you not to lie to me, but sometimes I wish you had. You wanna know why? Because it'd be a helluva lot easier going forward not knowing about that. Because I know that you wouldn't ever do something that you think someone wouldn't want, so that can only mean one thing...
[ Yosuke pulls back then, grinning widely, but it lacks mirth and warmth. ]
It means I wanted it. I fucking wanted to. And to make matters worse? It should gross me out, but it doesn't. And that scares me more than anything else! I've been thinking about it since you came clean, like some sort of obsessed freak trying to pick things apart and make sense of a memory I don't even have. I can't stop either. Now who's the sad one?
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This sort of insecurity from Yu--he knows it exists, yes, but that it's so all encompassing, that it's been potentially trying to undermine his wellbeing. Shadow Yosuke stores it away for now. Mocking is what they do, of course, but Yu is almost a protected party. To deny that he's set on some sort of pedestal would be a lie. No matter how far they've come, Yosuke still admires the guy. There's always a glint in his eye and the sort of pride that comes with getting to call himself Yu's partner.
But this--
--golden eyes begin to go wide.
It gives me hope that maybe you'll change your mind.
He knows what that means. Yu doesn't need to continue, but he does anyway. He doesn't look down at his hand, the way Yu's thumb presses on his pulse, which quickens. He doesn't once tear his eyes away from Yu's face, even as he brings Yosuke's hand to his cheek.
I don't have a chance with you anymore.
A chance. Is that what they had before? What Yosuke can't remember? Not remembering this place has been slowly driving him crazy, he's expressed that plenty of times to others and most harshly to Rei. He hates it. He hates being behind, always a step behind. But...
Why can't I stop thinking about you?
His stomach churns, a mixture of anxiety and butterflies.
But I can't. ]
I-I--...
[ For a moment, he looks uncertain, wide-eyed and nervous. It's not news, not entirely with the knowledge of how Yu felt before, but to have any of those feelings resurface...that's what he's implying, isn't it? Even as a passing fancy, a whiplash from a difficult breakup. It's still-- ]
--I can't take it when you look at me like that.
[ He doesn't pull back, though, nor remove his hand from Yu's face. ]
It freaks me out...'cause I don't know what to do about it. It freaks me out 'cause I know something happened before, things I can't remember--and I really hate not remembering!
[ He does grit his teeth then, his hand mirroring the motion Yu had previously given his face, tightening. ]
I walk around knowing that I've done all this shit that I can't account for. And with you? I trusted you not to lie to me, but sometimes I wish you had. You wanna know why? Because it'd be a helluva lot easier going forward not knowing about that. Because I know that you wouldn't ever do something that you think someone wouldn't want, so that can only mean one thing...
[ Yosuke pulls back then, grinning widely, but it lacks mirth and warmth. ]
It means I wanted it. I fucking wanted to. And to make matters worse? It should gross me out, but it doesn't. And that scares me more than anything else! I've been thinking about it since you came clean, like some sort of obsessed freak trying to pick things apart and make sense of a memory I don't even have. I can't stop either. Now who's the sad one?