It's not fine, [ he says, low and intense, as soon as she's done speaking. The idea that he can fail to meet expectations, let people down... it's absurd. He can't. He has to be better-- he's up against a different standard-- ]

I can't be better! [ Now his voice bursts out of him, wretched. ] After what happened in the jungle I swore I'd be better and I broke that promise over and over! I just keep getting worse, no matter what I do or how hard I try.

[ Yu shakes his head roughly, visibly angry now. Why can't she understand? Why can't she see? How fake... how incompetent he is?

Why is she still here?

A full body shudder shakes him as he buries his face in his hands. ]

I don't know why anyone stays. I'm worthless if I can't perform.