[ In the larger picture and scheme of things, it wouldn't matter if Hide worked for the CCG or not as he would never see him as anything other than his friend.
Hide had always done things in his best interests and in the end, if he would have listened to him regarding 'not having a chance' with Rize, the chance he'd still be happy and not so broken was quite likely. Then again... he'd been happy for a while after becoming a ghoul and seeing that not all ghouls were monsters, balancing both the human and ghoul lifestyle and somewhere along the line he'd crossed it with blood-soaked hands pulling him down into a darkness he didn't think he'd be able to escape from.
That world now was feeling less tangible; like he could reach for the light again and he drew in a shuddering breath as he felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes and soon falling, unbidden. He felt so hopeless right now, but at the same time, it was like he could breathe again as everything landed in place with all that had happened, and how Hide not only accepted him but had seemingly been on his side from the beginning and trying to help him even at such a large risk. He could be killed for assisting a dangerous ghoul like him but what mattered past that was their friendship, that hand always on his back for support was always Hide.
How could he have been so stupid to have not seen the truth right there in front of him? ]
...You've... always been there to support me... I didn't... see it before, but... always. From the start... i've... been such an idiot.
[ Kaneki's voice was quiet, soft and defeated in his admittances, closing his eyes even as the tears fell. Touka had been right. Selfish as ever, huh? Claiming to protect others and failing to accept the feelings of others who tried hard to help and reached out to him. ]
I... didn't mean to shut you out... you... were left alone too and I... never considered that. I... I'm sorry...
no subject
Hide had always done things in his best interests and in the end, if he would have listened to him regarding 'not having a chance' with Rize, the chance he'd still be happy and not so broken was quite likely. Then again... he'd been happy for a while after becoming a ghoul and seeing that not all ghouls were monsters, balancing both the human and ghoul lifestyle and somewhere along the line he'd crossed it with blood-soaked hands pulling him down into a darkness he didn't think he'd be able to escape from.
That world now was feeling less tangible; like he could reach for the light again and he drew in a shuddering breath as he felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes and soon falling, unbidden. He felt so hopeless right now, but at the same time, it was like he could breathe again as everything landed in place with all that had happened, and how Hide not only accepted him but had seemingly been on his side from the beginning and trying to help him even at such a large risk. He could be killed for assisting a dangerous ghoul like him but what mattered past that was their friendship, that hand always on his back for support was always Hide.
How could he have been so stupid to have not seen the truth right there in front of him? ]
...You've... always been there to support me... I didn't... see it before, but... always. From the start... i've... been such an idiot.
[ Kaneki's voice was quiet, soft and defeated in his admittances, closing his eyes even as the tears fell. Touka had been right. Selfish as ever, huh? Claiming to protect others and failing to accept the feelings of others who tried hard to help and reached out to him. ]
I... didn't mean to shut you out... you... were left alone too and I... never considered that. I... I'm sorry...