[closed]

[allfortheclan]

Who: allfortheclan & fuumash
When: OOC: 4/3. IC: Backdated to 12/9
Where: allfortheclan's apartment in the Residential District
What: The Fuuma twins reuinite and have to have several Talks About Things
Rating/Warning: Donten ni Warau spoilers all over the place; codependent twins being codependent.

---

[ Moving, having a destination and a short-lived purpose to occupy his thoughts help. He can breathe more easily, walk without hesitation. Once his brother knows the way, they'll walk side by side. But for now, he has to lead, and his twin must follow.

And they move quickly, just as before. Escaping the Fuuma village as their plan began -- moving through the forests of Shiga as everything came to fruition. Their steps in sync, no one would ever know there were two of them.

Even after ten years, and so much growing between them, that had not changed.

Shirasu leads his brother up into the stairwell -- there'll be time to show him the elevator later -- and they climb up until they reach his apartment. The lock clicks as he uses his passcard to let them in -- another thing to make sure his brother does, so he can come and go as he pleases. But, later. All later.

Only when he croses into the apartment, holding the door for his brother, does he let go of his hand. ]

This is where I live. [ Where they can live, unless his brother wants something different.

Shirasu is possibly more aware of how empty the place is now that his twin is there. Even when he had the opportunity to accumulate things, at the Kumou Shrine, and here, he really had no interest. But the lack of furniture, save for the low, Japanese-style table in the living area, seems to stand out. The bedroom isn't much better -- since he rarely sleeps a full night, and never sleeps in the same place for more than an hour or so, the bed that came with the apartment has never been used. His set of extra clothes, along with his Fuuma garb, hang stiff and immaculate in the closet.

The only thing which has any sort of personality is a tea set which sits on the table.

Fuuma were expected to have no attachments, love nothing and live for nothing but the well-being of their clan.

But what does "live for the clan" mean when there is only one clan member left?

There is a loud click as the door shuts and locks behind them. They're safe here. ]

Comments

[fuumash]

[ in contrast to his other half's purposeful steps, koutarou's steps grow more and more uncertain as they navigate the terrain of this hell. buildings that he could have never imagined, 'streets' that looked more like paved gardens of imperial households, towers so tall that no sun could possibly surmount it. he's never hesitated behind his twin before, never mistrusted where he may lead, but still, he grows uncertain, both in movement and in heart. his twin moves as though he has memorized the terrain like the back of his hand, and it's with equal parts admiration and consternation that he accepts this: admiration because his twin has always been better at him at knowing places, consternation because not even his twin could have memorized the entire layout of this labyrinthine montage without having spent considerable time here. considerable time that made no sense, along with the western garb on him that made no sense, because his twin could not have spent more time here than he had.

he'd entered hell first. he had made sure of it. so then, what is this?

he's logical, however, never one to be blinded by the facts, even if he cannot understand all of them. as he walks, uncertainty creeps into his heart, makes his fist ball up just barely, as he struggles to comprehend this. his other half must have spent considerable time here, more than he had. he had died first, however. so what did this mean? he is dead. he knows this for a fact. felt the pain of the light of the orochi, and knew the nothingness of the void. but his twin could not have come to hell before him--

so is his twin still alive?

and if he is, then is this not hell?

the realization is slow, and only grows more certain as he walks up the steps that seem so familiar to his twin yet so foreign to him, up to the door where their hands finally part and his other half's words finally seem to make more sense.

'this is where i live'

in hell, having a place to live should not be a concern.

the room itself, he barely spares a cursory glance beyond what's needed to make sure that it's clear and free of dangerous elements hiding in the corners (though if prompted, koutarou would admit that he has no idea anymore what would be dangerous elements in this place-- the thingies that moved, the flashing lights, the horseless carriages -- but he does know one thing: anything that attacks his brother is the enemy, and as nothing pops out to greet them with blades or flashing lights or otherwise, the place must be secure). sparse, but that's what he's used to, to be honest. he's lived his life in a cave and then in a jail cell. this is only the norm. there is no 'home' anywhere, because they abandoned theirs for the sake of rebuilding something greater.

the click behind him causes him to momentarily pause. but when his other half does not react to it, he deeps it as safe, and crosses his way into the room. it's bigger than he had anticipated, but he spares no time admiring it, looking towards his twin with a lack of emotions that's only expected of him, save for the faint confusion still in his eyes. lessened, now that one mystery had been solved-- worsened, because he remembers the dream again. 'your world has been destroyed'. what a lie. it couldn't be.

instead of listening to voices in dreams, he looks to his other half for guidance. he had said that he would explain. there must be, then, quite a lot to explain. to save his other half the trouble, he begins, in order to clear up his own confusion on the matter, to make it more real. ]

You are not dead, then.

[ upon saying that, he can't describe the twinge of relief he feels in his chest. even while knowing the emotion, he feels it so little that he almost forgets the word for it. standing there, he lets his arms fall to the side, waiting for his other half now to confirm or deny his words. ]

[allfortheclan]

[ Shirasu shakes his head, and walks toward where his twin is standing. ]

I'm not. And here, neither are you. [ He sets his twin's mask on the table, then unties the other half from his belt and lets it rest beside it.

Then, again, he reaches for his brother's hand and this time the hold is not so desperate, not so panicked. There's so much he needs to address -- and where even to start? -- and there are plans they have to make, things to do.

But, for a moment, Shirasu just rests his forehead against his brother's and closes his eyes. He's feeling what he felt after emerging from the box, what he felt the day Tenka died--

Weak. Vulnerable.

He should have better composure than this. He should be unshakable, a pillar and rock for his twin. But, he can't. Not right now. ]

I'm so sorry.

[ For failing so badly. For letting you think for a moment he'd ever abandon you. ]

[fuumash]

[ the two halves of the mask make a whole on the table. a broken whole, but a whole nonetheless. it's also the feeling he gets from his brother as he approaches him to bring their foreheads together. his brother, the stronger of the two, the capable one of the two, the one whom he follows despite all expectations to how they lead as equals-- that same brother's chock full of emotions that koutarou doesn't quite understand. and you know, it's hard, discerning shirasu's emotions from his mask. he once thought that it was only natural that he could read his brother, seeing as the two of them were one and all the same. but during those ten long years in that jail cell, he'd learned that his brother was capable of change. seeing him now, that change is more palpable than even before. for him, it may only seem like they were together just a few scant hours ago. for his brother, it almost felt like years. that's how koutarou has come to understand the gap between them -- the years his other half spent at the kumou house must've changed him fundamentally, until his brother is now what he sees before him.

it doesn't disturb him so much as it brings out all of those insecurities that he thought he put to rest when he died (a few hours ago, so they're still fresh in his mind, but the moment he died, he'd thought that he'd laid them to rest for the sheer reason that he won't be alive enough to let them haunt him they way they used to). for a moment, he lets his brother rest against him, lost in his own thoughts, stewing in his own insecurity.

it's why his brother's words now make no sense to him-- again, if he lived any other life, had any other kind of upbringing, perhaps he'd understand that his brother was apologizing for his feelings. which he wouldn't accept on principle, seeing as the failing is in him and him alone, and his brother has no reason to apologize for his own shortcomings-- but since he had been brought up in what was essentially a box, the sentiment is lost on him. he doesn't know why his brother is apologizing. he's never heard his brother apologize to him like this before. they're one and the same. apologies and thanks are but passing words for one another. for his brother to feel so strongly about something, to show him such a changed face--

what is going on?

almost awkwardly, gingerly, he raises a hand to caress his other half's cheek, unblemished, unlike his own, and then moves down to his brother's neck. he can feel his own heartbeat, and the heartbeat of his other half-- perhaps what his brother says, then, about them both being alive is true. but then was he saved? or perhaps he's come here from after his death, and was revived for whatever purpose. that's a scenario that he can accept, too, because if that's the case, then he's been reunited with his brother because of it. there is no downside. he lets his hand fall away.

the insecurity remains, however, as palpable as day. he blinks slowly. ]

There's no reason for you to apologize. [ a pause. awkwardly: ] You're tired.

[ "have we been apart for so long that you've changed so much?" words that he will never say. another thought: if he's not dead, then--

it's a good place to begin talking, at any rate. he doesn't know how to alleviate the suffering so clearly on his brother's face-- doesn't entirely understand it. so he changes the subject the way a freight train changes its course: bluntly, awkwardly and unapologetically. ] ... before I found you, I met Kumou Tenka, and the Yamainu.

[allfortheclan]

[ If his twin is having trouble understanding the situation, Shirasu clearly isn't helping. Only a few statements and assertions, all without the explanation he promised.

When they were still children, in his uncharitable moments -- and he had a handful of them in the years after completing the Fuuma rite -- he had resented his mother's emotions. How could she, being a Fuuma herself, love someone so much that the loss of them changed her so completely? Shirasu had only briefly mourned her... there had been too much to do in taking over the clan and caring for his brother. There had been no time.

Understanding had begun to creep in after Tenka's death. But it had only been after losing his twin had he truly started to comprehend what his mother must have felt. Perhaps the only thing which prevented him from taking her path was that Shirasu had no one to take his misery out on. No one but himself.

He leans into the small comfort -- however hesitant -- from his brother; though the heartbreaking feelings haven't passed, they are less overwhelming. The reassurance from his twin passes without comment. He can't say such a thing without knowing what Shirasu had been apologizing for.

But his heart seizes at the mention of Tenka and Abe, his back stiffens. His brother seems unharmed. But are they hurt? As much as he respects his brother's skill, he doubts either one is dead.

His arrangement with Tenka is not the first topic he would have chosen to discuss with his brother, but for their future, it's probably the most important. Taking a deep breath, he squeezes his brother's hand and gestures toward the table. ]

Aa. They are here, along with the second Kumou brother. Come and sit. [ Shirasu, by habit, takes the tea set from the table and moves to prepare a pot. ] What happened?