[open]

[hamham]

Who: Gundam Tanaka hamham and you!
When: All day December 22nd
Where: Various!
What: Gundam needs a little help with various things, and also a little food in his belly.
Rating/Warning: Probably a warning for profanity yeah.

[A - In the Gardens]

[It's a pretty nice morning out, and as such Gundam can be found enjoying the weather on a bench in the garden. Or at least, maybe he's enjoying it? It's a little hard to tell with the scowl he's wearing, glaring down at a pad of paper in his lap and tapping his pen against the edge of it. What is he working on that's got him so annoyed? If anyone wanted to peek at the paper, they'll see that all he has written is the word "Topics". The rest is blank. Don't get too close though, or you'll be greeted as followed:]

Do not draw too close, mortal, or you will regret leaving your abode today.

[B - Shopping District]

[And here this nerd is again, later in the morning after he left the gardens whether successful or not in whatever he was doing, moving around from store to store. In each instance, he's heading straight for the animal section, scrutinizing all of the available products before moving on. If you're wondering what he's doing, you may be in luck, because eventually he approaches someone nearby with a question.]

Tell me...do you know where I might find alfalfa hay or raw, unsalted seeds of various types? Answer me immediately, but know that if your answer is unsatisfactory I will destroy you where you stand!

[Wow he's real good at asking for help.]

[C - Lunch]

[Around noon this oh so imposing figure can be found glancing over various food stalls, looking for something to eat. He never really draws close enough to look like he's going to order, but does spend time carefully reading over any menus available and debating on exactly what sounds good.

A lot of things sound good, to be honest. Decisions decisions...]

[Closed to Kuzuryuu]

[Genius here decided to boast about his Netherworld balls to his one and only friend, which sort of bit him in the ass once he realized he needed to find a suit. Couldn't very well tell this friend that no, he's never attended a ball before and has no idea what you're supposed to wear to them after that. That'd be kind of embarrassing. But luckily he knows this guy who knows a thing or two about suits who for some reason is willing to put up with him and help him look for one. Which is good, because if he were going himself he'd probably have chosen something hideous.

So after returning home to put his loot away and call Kuzuryuu up, he once again returned to the shopping district to bum around and wait for him there. Maybe peer questioningly at some of the shops around. Did he show up fully dressed as usual? Of course. Why do the smart thing and ditch the coat, over shirt and scarf when trying on clothes if you can just make everything a little more dificult for yourself?]

Comments

ur lucky i like you or something

[hamham]

[Amazing! He doesn't just sleep in his suits? That seems like the logical thing for someone who lives in them to do.]

Oh? Were you able to find any stores that provided such items?

[Because hey that's something he'd be interesting in looking into.]

no UR lucky i like U

[impheired]

[He does not sleep in his suits! Well not here, anyway. The island is a different story and it's entirely possible he just slept in basically what he's wearing right now. Or maybe just the shirt and his underwear, who really knows. What did they do for pajamas on murder island, truly this is a real mystery.]

Yeah, a few. I can show you where those are as long as we're out here.

[He assumes you don't need his help picking something like that out...surely...]

NO IT IS. no it's pretty much that.

[hamham]

[It is the greatest mystery! Maybe one day it will be solved. But today is not that day.]

I would appreciate that.

[No don't worry. That much he can do on his own! Look he can dress himself just fine it's just that the last suit-suit he wore he was young and his mom picked it out for him okay?]

ehehehe

[impheired]

[Katar needs to stop tagging while on the verge of passing out because then important part of tags get forgotten. Kuzuryuu totally fell into step next to Gundam back when he gestured for him to do so. Oops. Totally on our way to the store and have been for like four tags now.]

No problem.

[Awkward silence. Man. They should...probably talk about something, right? Right. Socializing. They're all supposed to be getting better at that.]

So...Animal Talk Radio?

[May as well...go back to that topic. Since they didn't actually talk much about it on the phone earlier.]

[hamham]

[Socializing. How does that even work again? He sure doesn't remember the lessons taught to them in grade school! But then again, the silence isn't all that awkward for him. So maybe basic socializing skills are just missing in this one. But he perks up a little, curiously, at the mention of his radio show.]

It is as the name describes. I have been asked to speak of all matters relating to animals on a weekly morning radio show.

[Not that he's got a whole lot of ideas on what to do. He has some! But...]

What about it?

[impheired]

Just curious, is all. Especially since, other than your hamsters, I haven't seen a single animal that isn't robotic since I got here. Seems a little weird that there'd even be a call for something like that.

[Do the natives even know what a real animal is???]

Did they come up with the name then?

[He still just really can't believe that Gundam went up with something so straightforward and simple.]

[hamham]

It's infuriating! [Way to go, you've opened a very long, angry line of conversation.]

While I am more than happy to lend my knowledge to the general public about animals, what is the point? This information is of no use to anyone who is looking to care for their robot companions! There are no real animals for them to care about here! I am not even sure what to talk about in light of this! If I offer to educate the listeners on how to care for, say, a budgie, would they even know what I am referring to? If I were to point out the hazards of owning certain brachycephalic breeds of dogs or cats, would they care? Why would they care? It is not as if they are able to go out and purchase any of these animals anyway! They are not even specific of what kind of information they want! General care? Breeding information? Diet? Habitat? Do they want domestic or exotic animals?

[Grump grump grump...]

No, the name is mine.

[impheired]

[In retrospect he should have seen this coming. He by no means MEANT to make Gundam explode into a rant but what other reaction would he have had, really? He is...not sure what to say to all that. What the hell is brachycephalic even. Is that actually a word or did Gundam just sneeze??]

[We're going to say that that rant was long enough for them to have reached the first suit store though. Because they really do need to get to it here.]

Did you really? It's so straightforward... [HE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT IT WOULD BE ABOUT THE MINUTE GUNDAM SAID THE NAME.] Anyway, I would guess that if they didn't give you any sort of guidelines then you can just talk about whatever the hell you want. Maybe mix it up? Do domestic one week and then exotic the next? Here, over here. [He waves Gundam over to the section of the store with actual suits as opposed to dress shirts or neckwear. And once they're over there, Kuzuruyuu starts flicking through the racks while talking.] Maybe don't just focus on how to care for certain animals but also include like...fun facts or something?

[hamham]

[You mean walking forever isn't an option? Walking and talking is always a great FTE choice! But alright, that's fine, and he listens and follows as he's told, just sort of...uselessly watching Kuzuryuu look through the goods there.]

When you are hosting a source of information on a public forum, it is important to be straightforward so that people will know if it is something they are looking for or not. Granted, this does not always hold true in some cases, such as when decoy programs are necessary, but otherwise it is a vital part to take into consideration.

[TAKES THIS VERY SERIOUSLY TYVM! The suggestions though, those are very good. Damn he left his topics list at home...]

These are very true points...and doing it in such a matter eliminates the worry of what to talk about and when, beyond deciding what to do for each show...

[..............fun facts...]

What would you consider a "fun fact" about animals?

[impheired]

You're asking me that? [You're the animal expert, Gundam, not him!! He glances back at the taller boy, only to realize he's not actually doing anything.] Hey, are you going to look or not? It's not like I know your damn measurements, Tanaka. You're going to have to do more than just stand there.

[CHOP CHOP GET SHOPPING.]

...I didn't know that hamsters were nocturnal before you told me that. I dunno if I'd say that's..."fun" but it's...informative?? And unexpected?

[Maybe fun is the wrong word to use here. Does it make it any easier if we switch it out for a different word?]

[hamham]

[Right, right, okay he's looking! See? Look at him flipping through these racks! But yes, he's asking you. He may be the animal expert here, but unlike his blog this is purely for the public's enjoyment, right? So he needs the public's input.]

So...facts like that...

[He thinks about that for a moment.]

Were you aware that a cat possesses a total of 32 muscles in each of its ears?

[Is this a fun and informative fact??]

[impheired]

[It's probably safe to say from the way he stops sifting through suits and looks over at Gundam with a stunned expression on his face that he did not. Really? In each ear?]

...that many? Their ears are so...small and thin though...

[You're pulling his leg aren't you.]

[hamham]

Cats utilize their ears the most when expressing behavior or mood. To do so, the ears must be able to swivel and pivot in a variety of ways for this expression to be successful. Therefore, to achieve this range of movement, they require 32 in each ear. Even if they are so small and thin.

[Nope. Honest to God truth there.]

[impheired]

Well when you put it that way, it makes sense. It's just a little surprising to hear a number like that...

[And back to suits.]

What else you got? I'm sure it's probably nothing I've heard before but try me anyway...

[Animal trivia: go.]

[hamham]

[Animal trivia? Kuzuryuu, are you attempting to get on his good side or something here?]

Hmmm...alright.

[Going to slow down his own browsing a little, trying to decide on facts that would be considered interesting to give Kuzuryuu.]

...woodpeckers are capable of pecking up to twenty times a second. In a single day, they can peck anywhere between 8,000 to 12,000 times.

[impheired]

Okay, I didn't know the exact numbers but I can believe that. [So...not as wow factor as the cat ears thing. But still good! These are all still good things you can use in your show maybe.]

[hamham]

[He nods, pulling a suit back a little to look it over, though he doesn't really seem to actually be looking at it. After all, Kuzuryuu said no loud patterns and this isn't the most subtle pattern in the world.]

Unlike lions or tigers, both of which can live up to 14 years in the wild, cheetahs are typically only able to survive until they are eight.

[Oh good he's putting the suit back.]

[impheired]

[Did he notice the way Kuzuryuu's lip was curling a little bit? Is that why he put it back? Because he was totally thinking about saying something until you gave him that fun fact that wasn't fun at all. Goodbye lip-curl.]

...okay that one I'd suggest breaking up and using separately. Comparing them that way is just kind of depressing...

[Poor cheetahs...]

[hamham]

[He had not noticed! Though he does turn to look at Kuzuryuu at that comment.]

...I will keep that in mind.

[Sorry. He didn't mean to make you sad Kuzuryuu...he thinks a little bit before his next one.]

...most species of penguins mate for life. The male Gentoo penguin, even, will search through hundreds of rocks to find the smoothest, most perfect pebble to give to the female he desires to have as his companion.

[Look he knows cute things about animals too is that better??]

[impheired]

Better.

[Much better, ty, Gundam.]

Oh, something else I just thought of, by the way. You'd be better off if you slicked your hair down, and lose the bandages.

[NO MUMMY ARM. Or whatever that's supposed to be. At least he's not trying to convince him to ditch the Hell Hound earring. Possibly because he knows that's a losing battle or maybe just because earrings are more acceptable than gravity-defying hair curls and mummy arms.]

[hamham]

[He stops immediately, shooting the man a frown.]

I will attempt to do something with my hair if you insist, but to leave even just my cursed hand uncovered would endanger everyone at the ball. The gravity of what you are asking me to do is beyond your comprehension!

[impheired]

[...of course. Of course it's "cursed".]

Wear gloves? Your sleeve is going to cover everything but your hand, anyway.

[You better not have been planning to roll your sleeve up...]

[hamham]

[................so what if he was...

He's quiet after that suggestion, sort of staring at and flexing his "cursed" hand a little.]

...would gloves not defeat the purpose of removing my bandages?

[Like he is assuming it is your fashion sense that is telling him to remove those so why would you replace them with gloves?]

[impheired]

I guess you could wear the bandages under them if you really wanted to. [But why would you, is the real question.] All I'm saying is that gloves look nicer than bandages. And if you're going to put in the effort to dress nice, you may as well go the whole way.

[He's beginning to wonder if maybe the bandages aren't a terrible fashion statement on Gundam's part. If he's really that determined to keep it covered up, there must be something under there. So he's not going to tell him not to cover up whatever it is, because lord knows he gets that, but...bandages...]

[hamham]

[You are not wrong in this assumption. Though it's probably not enough to really call it "cursed", whatever it is. But he tilts his head a little and returns to searching the racks.]

Gloves would be an acceptable replacement. Are we able to purchase those here as well?

[Do you buy gloves with suits? Are we talking winter gloves or are there like...special silk gloves or something that go with suits? Like silk ties?]