estoria | that's in the sky where the rain's from [OPEN]

Entry tags:

that's in the sky where the rain's from [OPEN]

Who: Cole (

existency) and YOU
When: Before Natalia's ball, but over a few days
Where: Various
What: Cole is getting used to his new home.
Rating/Warning: None unless someone rude tags in (probable)!!

option a — the basic arrival prompt

[ He doesn't belong here.

It's quiet, startlingly so, because there aren't the songs and shimmers of the Fade here like there were at home (wherever "home" was). It whispers, enough for him to be able to reach out and grasp it, use it like he does, but it's not the same. It's disorienting and startling, which is why he wanders. He's looking for the places where it's the loudest, since where it's louder, he's more comforted.

Of course, this process might seem quite strange to anyone nearby. Cole himself would seem to stick out enough, since a gaunt young man with a very large hat and wearing old, dusty leathers would be a contrast against the technology around. But it might catch you by surprise that you seem like you've seen him earlier today, but you can't place where. Unless you're a bit closer to spirits or magic yourself, in which case, it'll be a bit easier to remember seeing him earlier in the day, doing the same thing.

He's just wandering, as if he's lost something or looking for something, but he never makes eye contact with anyone, and most of the people walking by don't seem to see him at all. In fact, it's only you that sees him. ]

option b — memes never die

[ How's the weather today? Did you guess cold and rainy? It's definitely cold and rainy. ~~At least for the purposes of this prompt.~~

If you're braving this terrible weather to head towards the park, you might notice a strange pattern along the main path. Every so often, there's a small cardboard box underneath a tree, and if you're curious enough to go inspect it, the contents might be a bit confusing.

They're all cakes.

They're not quite left out in the rain, since the trees manage to cover most of the rain, but they're still getting soggy enough that no one in their right mind would really want to eat them. And it's clearly not an accident, since there are quite a few!

Continuing along the path, there's a young man braving the rain, though he doesn't seem to mind it. He's out without even an umbrella, though he doesn't really need one, considering the large brim of his hat... But he's also clearly the culprit of the cake-related mystery, since he has a few boxes in hand, and he's setting one down underneath a tree, opening it, then looking up into the branches like he's checking for something.

But all of the sudden, he seems to become aware that someone is watching, since he looks towards who's approaching, but he's quick to bow his head shyly. ]

...Sorry. Am I in the way?

[ More importantly, why is he leaving cakes out in the rain?? ]

option c — not quite as exciting as killing dragons

[ His Cerevice had told him he was a florist, and so a few days after arriving, Cole starts to work. It's definitely not the same as the Inquisition, but he quickly finds that he enjoys the work. It's quiet and solitary, since Cole's odd appearance and mannerisms tend to keep him from getting put at the front and scaring away customers, but he can tend to the flowers dutifully while still getting to be around other people and listen like he likes to.

It's not quite the tavern in Skyhold, where he can just stand for hours and watch the lives of the people there unseen, but it's close enough that he's content.

If you have reason to visit a florist today, other employees will probably greet you first, since Cole tends to stay towards the back. But it's not long before he starts to busy himself with something, then approaches to hold out a bouquet that's stunningly beautiful, and whatever you've come to a florist for, this seems to fit the bill perfectly. ]

...Are these what you were looking for?

[ His voice is soft and gentle, but not quite shy. It seems like he knows, for whatever reason. ]

(( ooc note ; if you choose this prompt, just make sure to include something in your brackets about why your character is getting flowers please! ))

option d — choose your own

[ Wildcard! If you have an idea of a prompt of your own that's different, go for it! You can run it by me or just run with it and we'll figure it out. ]

IMPORTANT NOTE—If you haven't filled it out already, please comment to Cole's permission post before replying!

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[Huh! He hadn't considered that, but it does make sense once it's laid out. He makes a little noise of understanding and glances toward the nearest tree cake.]

So it's the same as leaving out dry breads? That's really thoughtful of you.

[A beat, and then, because clearly this guy has already proven himself good friend material:]

My name's Oz! What's yours?

[ Cole Slightly Approves ]

[ Cole nods, and though he doesn't smile, his posture relaxes. It seems like Oz understanding his intentions pleases him. ]

But I couldn't find any dry bread. So it was cake instead.

[ He definitely stole them from the back of a bakery, but they were goingto go in the dumpster anyways, so it's fine... He turns towards Oz a little more, though his face still remains mostly obscured. ]

Cole. I'm Cole.

[Dumpster cakes for the birds... Wow. Cole sure is living up the adventure life already. Oz doesn't even have the heart to tell him that he probably won't find any birds that aren't robots or holograms...]

That's a pretty smart idea, Cole. [A smile!] Just Cole is fine, right?

[He is getting the distinct feeling that Big Brims McGee over here probably doesn't care about titles...]

Yes. I'm only Cole.

[ There's literally no other title he could have... Well, not really. He could be Compassion, since that's what the spirit at Crestwood had called him. But that name didn't feel like his. He knew Cole wasn't really his either, but it still felt more like his name. He wasn't a concept like a spirit represented, after all.

But as he awkwardly fidgets, he feels, and it gets him to perk up, really looking at Oz for the first time since they had started speaking. It shows his face, pale, gaunt, but kind past all of that, yet there's still a sense that he's looking through Oz rather than at him. ]

And you are... Just Oz.

[ He looks down again, then starts to murmur softly, as if to himself, but what he says is too familiar to be a coincidence. ]

Forgotten, fumbling, because there is something that should not be. It was gilded once, but it's gone, the gold swallowed by something greater, something wrong. The warmth of a small body clutching two, then left with the warmth of the gold. But— Both are real...

["Just Oz" is the point where his smile falters a little, but it's not much at first. It's what he's referred to himself as countless times lately, after all: he doesn't even use the last name Vessalius to introduce himself anymore.

But the longer Cole talks, and the more he says, the farther his smile drops until it's more or less shifted into a look of panic. The golden world, the real world, Alice and Alyss and Lacie and the Core - himself, as he had been back then. The words dredge up that imagery and those memories and leave Oz feeling more than just a little unsettled. He doesn't take a step back, but he looks like he might want to.]

Wait— What you're talking about, that's...

[Impossible, isn't it? How could anyone know-- but even though he's speaking in riddles, Oz knows. There really are too many similarities for it to be a simple coincidence.]

Edited 2015-04-26 07:45 (UTC)

[ He looks up again and still fidgets, since he knows that he's stumbling into something that makes him nervous. The members of the Inquisition were used to this, more or less, but not anyone else. It was frightening to most, and for good reason. But he doesn't mean to do what people think. He's not saying what he says to hurt, and he doesn't even mean for their memories and hurt to come flooding in. But it's the only way it can help.

He has to find the knots in peoples' hearts first before he can untangle them, and this was simply how it had to be done.

As Cole parses through the threads that make up the knot, feeling them out in a way that's indescribable, it gives him a revelation, because he can feel that this is someone similar. Not the same, because there was no one like him, but it was enough to have someone who had forgotten what they were. He can at least tell that much, and it's a hurt he very much wants to heal. ]

It's all right.

[ Not that it would seem like it, but Cole's voice is very gentle, softly earnest in tone. ]

You are you. That's all that matters.

[The tone doesn't really put him at ease - not much could at this point - but it does at least give him the feeling that this is a person who doesn't want to hurt him. "You are you". Well... That's exactly what he's trying to accept, isn't it? But he always falls just shy, no matter how much better he gets at looking at his situation objectively. It's a far-off goal that he knows he'll keep having to stride toward.

His hands, which have risen to grip the hem of his shirt somewhat instinctively, twist the fabric.]

But— how do you know?

[There's a mild tremor in his voice which is also more or less reactionary and something that he has very little control over. He can't help it; even though he feels that Cole is well-meaning, the topics that he's brushing over are still raw and painful. What a surprising side effect to setting aside a severe existential crisis after only a few hours in order to more effectively plan a suicide mission...! Who could have seen that one coming NOT OZ.

He does nearly take a step back after that, though. His nerves are like a rabbit's, and he's tempted by the desire to run.]

[ Cole's brow knits together with a look of concern, because he can tell he's tangling, and it troubles him just as much as it troubles Oz. He hesitates, and it seems like he might want to run too, but... He's braver now. He understands what he's supposed to do, so he pushes past that hesitation, even if it's only barely. ]

I... hear it. Peoples' hurt.

[ He fidgets, looking down, since this is hard enough to explain to a mage, so it's even harder for anyone else. Will he be afraid, he worries, because if he is, he'll have to make him forget. It's for the best, but every time, it's still a little sad. ]

Memories, feelings, anything that hurts, I hear, because I want to heal. I don't mean for it to come in, but I can't stop it. If I don't listen, I might forget again. So... [ He shifts his weight on his feet, then adds softly: ]

Sorry. You can forget, if that's frightening.

[Ah.

Well, it would be a blatant lie to say Oz isn't frightened. He has a lot that he hides from others, and a lot that he hides from himself. It's scary to have all of that potentially exposed, especially since he has no shortage of hurt, himself. There are many tender areas that he'd rather leave alone. Cole's ability is, in short, something that his method of self-protection would loathe.

But Oz himself can recognize the good intentions here. He may not have gotten over all of his issues, but he's in a better mental place than he had been even half a year ago. That's enough to keep him grounded, or at least to keep him from shrinking away.]

...It's a little scary. [He won't lie, though. Especially not when it would be such an obvious one.] But it's not something that you can control, and... you want to help. [That much he understands.]

It must be scary for you too, right? To help people with things like this.

Edited 2015-04-27 06:25 (UTC)

Yes. No.

[ The answers are punctuated with a pause, but he doesn't seem uncertain or hesitate in answering. By how he responds, it would seem both are true, but he had chosen to express it oddly. ]

It was frightening. Before I knew what I was. But now I know, and I know I can use it to help. So it's not frightening anymore.

[ It makes him anxious at times, because there's of course something deeply frightening about being so open that everyone's hurt, alive or long dead, comes flooding in. It had been the worst in the Spire, though, since there, he didn't even know what to do with those feelings. He dreaded them, since every call of hurt meant he had to kill, or at least so he thought. At the time, he hadn't understood, so pushing away those feelings made him feel like he would fade away. That was frightening. ]

I listen to untie the knots, but I don't want to tangle. I... will try not to listen. You're just louder since you're here. I'm sorry.

[There's some similarity between them, in that case... Oz's expression softens a little, and though it doesn't banish the fear entirely, it does at least ease it into a state that's more than manageable. He lets go of his shirt fabric, smoothing it down.]

It doesn't bother you, does it? If I'm this close, I mean.

[If it's louder because he's here, and Cole is trying not to listen, it would probably be easier for him if Oz were to keep some distance.]

[ Cole shakes his head lightly, and his expression at least becomes marginally less clouded. That's about as close as he gets to a smile. ]

No. I could hear it anyways. It's just more likely when someone is closer.

[ He's already repeated a memory of Oz's to someone else, though he doesn't know that... Many of the things that flood in come without context, and he doesn't like to dwell too much on them in the first place, so it's hard for him to make those connections. ]

Thank you. But it's fine.

[Sounds like a pretty rough way to live, to him. He's not sure he would be able to handle things even half as elegantly if he were in Cole's shoes.]

Okay. [A nod!

And then a pause, because he has a lot of questions that he wants to as but he's not sure where he wants to start. Cole himself isn't exactly intimidating - a little unnerving even without the powers, yes, but not a person he's overtly afraid of. Still, after all of that, he's not sure where to go. Naturally, instead of being a semi-normal person and moving the topic to less uncomfortable grounds, he just asks:]

...Is it loud?

[Because he's curious, and Cole seems like a pretty open person.]

[ Cole shakes his head. ]

It's loud, but not in the way you hear with your ears. The songs sing through, right into your head. It is...

[ He trails off, then starts to speak in that curious way, softer, but hurried, like he's trying to force a memory out before it overwhelms him. His hat tips lower, making it difficult to see his face, but he speaks with clarity and without hesitation. ]

He wanted her to forget, but she couldn't. There's blood, so much blood, but the bat doesn't feel heavier. It's to protect, because she cannot let him be the one to wield the bat... She doesn't want to be meaningless.

[ It seems like the gruesome memory is random at first, but when it's done, Cole looks up again, and he nods gently. ]

I... don't want to be either. If I become meaningless, then I'd become something else. I don't want to be something else. So if it's loud, I don't mind.

[Oz listens with the same rapt attentiveness that he listens to everyone with, and so the sudden deluge of - he's not even sure what at first, honestly - is enough to startle him yet again. At least this doesn't ring personal, whatever it is. Not personal for himself, anyway.

The follow-up statement seems a little strange to him, like it's a gap-bridge between two things that shouldn't necessarily be connected. His mouth presses into a thin line, but the expression isn't wary or displeased so much as just plain thoughtful.]

...I think I understand. [He can only say "I think", though. Cole is undoubtedly a difficult person to decipher, even for someone who's usually capable of picking the meaning out of the words of other people.

Still, meaningfulness and meaninglessness... Well, he may not understand much about Cole himself just yet, or his abilities, or where he's come from that has led him to say such a thing, but he can certainly understand loss of identity and its struggle. It's why, after a few seconds of debating in silence, he asks:]

I know this is personal, but— Has it always been like this for you?

[ They're more related than Oz could know, because there's a shared sense in the memory that he had picked up on there. Blood on the bat, blood on a knife, both to protect, and both wrong. Cole had escaped judgement, though, because there was no one left to judge him at that point. The only person that could see and remember thought of him as a monster, and so Cole had left to right the wrongs alone. It was better, he thought. Rhys could forget him, and he would be happier.

Still, that touches on the question that Oz poses, and that makes Cole shift uncomfortably. It's two-fold, since explaining it was just technically difficult, since Cole had only recently understood what had happened himself, but it's also something raw and emotional. Cole carries the pain of others without complaint, since he can use it to help, but his own pain was a different matter. ]

...No.

[ There's a weight to that "no" that makes it seem like that's all he'll say, but it's really just a pause, since a bird flutters down to land on the brim of Cole's hat. He opens one of the boxes to take a handful of the stale cake, then holds it up for the bird to eat before he continues. ]

I didn't know what I was. Just like you're just you, I had to learn that too. One part forgotten, one part came to soothe, and two made one. So I'm just me. But I know how to listen now, and make people see me when I want to be seen.

[Oz certainly isn't going to press if Cole decides to leave his answer there, and almost opens his mouth to interject something else and shift the topic a little, but then he continues on his own. Listening intently, Oz still isn't entirely sure about the details, but...]

I see. [And this time, he does.] I'm glad for you! Even if it's hard or confusing or scary, I hope that you can hold onto that.

[Because being "just you" can still be very difficult. It's not like the hardest part ends once the truth comes out, and it's not even easier to understand in some cases. Sometimes, learning the truth can just make things more complicated and confusing. It'll be a long road, for sure.]

[ It's the sort of acceptance that Cole has still yet to really get used to, since he's certainly not used to it being so open and immediate. It gets his tone to warm, earnest and full of a genuine thanks that's palpable in his tone. ]

Thank you. I hope so too.

[ And it seems like that kindness gets Cole to soften a little bit, since he looks up from under the brim of his hat to meet Oz's eyes, and really meets them for the first time in their conversation. ]

I hope you do too, Oz.

[That's not really the face of someone to be frightened of at all, is it? Oz can still feel residual anxieties brought on by the intrusiveness of his power, but it's not like he holds that against Cole himself. He's certainly not regretting that he decided to stop and ask where all those cakes had come from.]

I'm sure that things will work out in the end.

[Even if some things are lost in the process... Well, the world is a give-and-take kind of place, after all.

But that's about all he feels he has to say on that particular topic. After a second, his gaze drifts to the cake and to some of the birds nearby.]

Can I join you? Feeding the birds, I mean.

[ He nods, and there's a twitch of something at the corner of his mouth, maybe a smile, though it's something difficult to discern. ]

Yes. They would like that.

[ He shifts, then offers a box to Oz. He probably recognizes the box from being from Ciel's favorite fattydingdongs bakery, but inside is a very plain cake without even frosting. ]

Birds remember when you're kind to them. [ and that's why all the birbs hate ciel ]

[ah, everything makes sense now...

But he'll take the box with a smile.]

Thanks! [And then actually look down at it, unboxing it with a little noise of surprise.] Oh, I didn't know they sold plain cakes there...

[As for the little aside about birds, he glances back up and nods once in solemn agreement.]

I think everything remembers kindness.

[ Cole nods in agreement, but then after seeming to hesitate on what to do, he leads the way towards another tree, since this one is already taken care of. ]

They do. It's not always easy to remember, since other things get in the way, but it's a warmth that you never really forget.

Mm - I think that's a good way to put it!

[Oz trails along after as Cole goes, a little more spirited now that the bulk of that vaguely traumatic experience is over. He'll have to ruminate over it a little more when he gets home, but for now, he's content to feed the birds.]

So you just leave the box open under the tree, right?

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that's in the sky where the rain's from [OPEN]

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