Myriam Scuttlebutt (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cardboard_journalism) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
estoria2015-06-10 04:37 am
cardboard_journalism) wrote in estoria2015-06-10 04:37 am
semi-open
Who: cardboard_journalism & the people around her
When: January 17th, morning
Where: Different places around Cerealia!
What: Myriam Scuttlebutt's newspaper, 3rd edition!
Rating/Warning: (possibly some PG content?)
[ January 17th, the third edition of her paper The Cerealia Times was ready. There hadn't been any particularly strong events this week, but after raking in responses from the online survey, she was confident in this edition. Read all about it, Cerealia! This was the real news! ]
[ ...Which all changed at about six AM when the feed on the network started. ]
[ Oops. Well, nothing to be done! She'd get her papers distributed as quickly as possible and then run back to write up stories for the NEXT scoop! ]
A. OTA
[ Myriam Scuttlebutt, wearing her cardboard box, carries a stack of bundles of Cerealia Times in a cardboard box on a hand-truck and tries to convince businesses (especially cafes!) to set them out for people to take, free of charge. Maybe you're a worker she's trying to persuade? Or maybe you're a worker sitting on the sidelines wondering who this weirdo in a cardboard box is. She will definitely be coming around to any business that accepted them in the past! ]
B. OTA
[ Myriam Scuttlebutt, wearing her cardboard box, sits behind a register at the School Supply Store she works at. She rings people up blandly and then excitedly offers a copy of the paper with their purchase. Alternatively, Scuttlebutt behind a register is a sitting duck who can't escape anyone bringing up complaints about her paper. ]
C. Either/or!
[ No interaction with Scuttlebutt herself, just read the paper and post your own reaction wherever they may be! Maybe leave her a comment on her inbox or go track her down to complain with another prompt. The paper can definitely be found at Archer's food-stand, Thistle Do Nicely flower-tea shop, and the Opera House. ]
D. Semi-open [directed topsycholawgy but open to anyone who might be at The Little Sister cosplay cafe]
[Scuttlebutt came by with her usual bundle to The Littler Sister cosplay cafe, and if she saw Athena would plead with her.]
"Let me set it out, Athena! Look, Miss Tattler didn't write anything this week! So, it's okay, right? Kahk-kahk-kahk..."
[ It looks, feels, and smells, like a newspaper, and the top above-the-fold part of the paper reads as follows ]
"Because newspapers can't be hacked!"
Date: January 17th, ? year. Price: Free
byline: Myriam Scuttlebutt
[ The below-the-fold story reads: ]
Massive pileup! Water park attendees find themselves stopped in blocked pipe! Will there be more victims?!
byline: Myriam Scuttlebutt
[ Another story below-the-fold reads: ]
Giant-mechanical crab made mincemeat of by local pigtails!
byline: Myriam Scuttlebutt
[ Next page is Local News. The top story: ]
The Saiyan Menace: Evil Overlords, or Nothing To Worry About?
-----
byline: Myriam Scuttlebutt
Spotlight on business: Thistle Do Nicely
byline: Myriam Scuttlebutt
[ "Local gives thumbs-up to Mexican Food Cart in Entertainment district! "It definitely satisfied my craving," one customer was heard to say." ]
[ "Weather: Probably cold. Air quality: not-the-best." ]
[ There's a section titled: "MUSIC". In it, space has been allocated to Jakuzure Nonon. A photo of her conducting is here.
The article, byline Nonon Jakuzure, continues from where it left off last week, but Nonon's high-handed style of writing seems a little easier. This week continues tribute to Ludwig van Beethoven, the most influential composer who ever lived. A loving description of Violin Romance #2 and how it's a beautiful piece of an affair a solo violin paired with orchestra has is detailed.]
[ Next section is:
HOROSCOPES: by Fortune Teller Pearl Fey.
♈ Aries (3/21 - 4/19); The stars are in your favor this week! Don't be nervous, your dreams are coming into reality. Be assertive and hold on tight, and things will go your way. Your lucky number is 52.
♉ Taurus (4/20 - 5/20); You're looking for love in all the right places! That special someone is sure to appear, all you have to do is look! Your lucky color this week is red.
♊ Gemini (5/21 - 6/21); You may prove to be your own doom... but in better news, this week is the perfect time to buy that special item you've been eyeing! Your lucky letter is J.
♋ Cancer (6/22 - 7/22); You may be more focused on money this week than love, and if you're not careful you'll lose both! Your lucky animal is the giraffe.
♌ Leo (7/23 - 8/22); You're magnetic this week, everyone will be drawn to your charisma! This is definitely the week to focus on building friendships! Your lucky number is 14.
♍ Virgo (8/23 - 9/22); Looks like your love life may hit a rough patch this week. But with a little attention, you can get it back on the rails and make it really shine! Avoid the color yellow.
♎ Libra (9/23 - 10/22); This week is one for justice! Don't let anyone push you around, and stand up for yourself! You may have to. Your lucky animal is the owl.
♏ Scorpio (10/23 - 11/21); There's love in store for you... but it might not be requited! But don't let that stop you, if you fall head over heels go for it! Your lucky color is yellow.
♐ Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21); This is a week for honesty! If there's anything you've been holding back, let it go. Avoid dogs.
♑ Capricorn (12/22 - 1/19); You might feel like you've hit that jackpot this week, but don't loose focus! Or else that jackpot will just turn out to be a crockpot. Your lucky number is 27.
♒ Aquarius (1/20 - 2/18); Have your eye on a special someone? This is the week to go for it and confess your feelings! Even if they don't return them, it will be worth it. Your lucky color is purple.
♓ Pisces (2/19 - 3/20); Trust your instincts this week! They may keep you from making a huge mistake-- and might lead you to love's doorstep! Your lucky animal is the turtle. ]
[Next section is:
Love Advice ♥ with Miss Maggie
"How can you tell if someone could be interested in a date? How do you let someone know you would be available as something more than a friend? What is a good way to ask someone on a date? What are good locations for dates in this city?" - Hopeful Haley
-These are a lot of essential questions you need to ask when you're getting into the dating scene. Good that you're thinking of all of them together like this, Haley, because it's gonna make it a lot easier on you in the long run!
-Okay, we'll tackle this one at a time. Knowing whether or not someone is interested in dating really depends on the person. Some people are actively looking for people to date, but some can be really shy about this kind of thing, or they don't know how to really express themselves romantically! So if you're wondering if someone is interested, the best thing to do is approach them and ask. You don't have to ask them if they'd be interested in dating you, if you want to know before you pop that question! You can ask them something like, "What do you think about romance?" "How do you feel about dating?" "Are you looking for anyone to date right now?" Questions like this will definitely get you your answer, even if they don't actually answer you. If they seem to get flustered or very, very shy all of a sudden, they're probably interested but just scared!
-The next two questions actually go hand in hand. The best way to approach this is to just be honest, and ask them if they'd be interested in dating you! You can either phrase the question like that, or you can ask them out! To ask someone on a date, you need to be confident. There are a lot of different ways to approach it, but you always need to be confident, otherwise they'll just think you want to do friend things! So sit them down, look them in the eyes and ask them! "Would you like to go out with me?" It doesn't have to be exactly like that, but you wanna make sure they're going to know what you mean. Ask them to dinner, or to see a movie with you!
-As for locations, you can take them anywhere! Traditional locations would be a restaurant or cafe, or a movie theatre if you're doing a movie date. But unconventional dates are just as good! Think picnic in the park, a day at the arcade, things that allow you both to enjoy yourself. The point of the date is to get to know each other better, so as long as whatever you're doing allows you to do this, and you're having a good time, don't let tradition limit your view! I once had a date hanging out in a graveyard and it was one of the best ones I'd ever had!
[Included after this is a short list of three restaurants and three cafes found in the city for specific suggestions.]
"My dear friend is in need of help, how does one confess to another who, while likes them, appears to be a little oblivious? I am not pretending that the friend is myself, this is truly for another." - Amiable Arnold
-Arnold, you need to tell this friend that they need to be straight with them! If the person seems oblivious, that just means they need it spelled out. So instead of trying any shy or cute things, just come out and say it! "Friend, I would like to be your girlfriend/boyfriend!" They need to be honest about their feelings, that way nothing is confused or missed by this oblivious person! Try not to be aggressive though. Just a calm, honest talk with them should do the trick.
"Why are humans so strange when it comes to loving? And also should humans marry Saiyan war mongering royalty?" - Careful Conner
-Conner, humans are probably strange when it comes to loving because we're so different from one another! Everyone has a different idea of what "love" is and because of that, they all have their own ways of expressing it! And it's probably going to look even weirder to someone who isn't human, since non-humans all have their own idea of what love is too! The stranger it is though, the more genuine it'll be! So don't let our strange human love rituals put you off if you're interested! You just gotta jump into the human love game feet first because I guarantee you that you'll find someone to love!
-Because yes, humans should absolutely marry Saiyan war mongering royalty. It doesn't matter who or what you are, you deserve love, and if that love comes from a different species then don't judge it! Embrace it! Put it in a gentle choke hold of other-worldly affection and show it that war mongering royalty - Saiyan or otherwise - can love just like humans can! Or vice versa, if your heart is set on some galactic monarch looking to rule the cosmos!
[ there's a note that requests for love advice can be submitted anonymously or not to Myriam Scuttlebutt's inbox. ]
[ Next section is labeled: "Letters to the Editor" ]
Dear Editor of the Cerealia Times & it's readers,
My name is Pearl Fey, and I'd like to apologize for my actions with the past newspaper. I edited as many as I could find with a pen, which was an overreaction and rather rude. I'm sorry if anyone read these altered papers, they were not as Miss Scuttlebutt and the rest of the Cerealia Times' people intended. And to Miss Scuttlebutt and Miss Tattler for these unsanctioned alterations, I meant no harm and I apologize if I caused any.
And to the readers, I urge anyone else who takes issue with the Cerealia Times to contact Miss Scuttlebutt directly, instead of doing what I did. Which was take it upon myself to "fix" the paper and not contact her until afterward with an angry text. Be sure to send her an angry text instead of vandalizing the paper!
Sincerely,
Pearl Fey
(This letter was verified as written by Pearl Fey by the editor.)
[ There is a response:
"On behalf of The Cerealia Times, its readers, and the free press, Miss Pearl Fey: your apology is accepted.
Censorship is the biggest threat that exists to the free press. Censorship comes in all forms. Sometimes, censorship is the work of an appointed officer, acting on behalf of some authority, that strikes out material intended for printing because the information provided is against the interests of the authority. This is why a free press is so important to a free society. In places with a guaranteed free press, readers are guaranteed the information provided to them is relevant, accurate, and free of biases.
Sometimes, errors occur in the printed material, and these are genuine mistakes. Every journalist makes every attempt to avoid them, but they are a fact of human existence: nothing is perfect. If you are a reader and you have identified a mistake, the correct response is to report it to the editor so that a later edition will issue a clarification, correction, or in very extreme cases, a retraction and apology.
The incorrect response is to take matters into your own hands. Last week we reported the misguided Rock Lee, who took it upon himself to confront and harass a reporter for a perceived wrong that he afterward apologized for. This week, a Miss Mia Fey harassed the editor with unfounded threats of a lawsuit, even when explained how the law protected the paper, which does, and always will, operate within the confines of the law. The threat of legal action, forcing a newspaper staff to devote time and resources to providing a legal defense when it could be using them for reporting, is another form of harassment just as sure as physically confronting a journalist as she does her assigned duties of reporting the news.
If you're reading this, we thank you for your support of The Cerealia Times and hope you too will join us in celebrating the benefits of the free press.
-Editor, Myriam Scuttlebutt." ]
To the Editor-in-Chief of of The Cerealia Times,
I am writing to you to formally show my disapproval of your gossip section. I had hoped that this newspaper would bring out the truth, but you are contradicting your own mission by adding a gossip section to each issue. Your paper is nothing more than a tabloid to me now.
I will not be correcting any of the baseless lies that you have already printed, as I'm 100% certain that you will continue printing these, anyway.
As the primary contact for the paper's distribution at one of the local cafes, I refuse to have our customers read these speculations about people. It is not worth their while. As such, we will only be providing issues of your newspaper if and when each article provides proper evidence to back up its text.
Best,
Athena Cykes
(This letter was verified as written by Athena Cykes by the editor.)
[ There is a response:
"A tabloid is a name for a size of sheet paper used in printing. A standard broadsheet found in most American papers is 12 inches wide and 20 inches long. The Cerealia Times uses this format. A tabloid is 11 inches wide and 17 inches long. The Cerealia Times does not use this format, therefore it is not a tabloid.
The gossip column was introduced for several reasons. One, many publications in this modern age feature a gossip column as entertainment, even if the bulk of their stories is objective in tone and lacking the emphasis found in the gossip column. Make no mistake: the gossip column does have standards.
Two: in this brave new world of Cerealia, where we relocated are so far from everything we once held dear, the gossip column was judged as a worthy attempt at providing levity to those in a grim situation. Perhaps readers would be able to experience a little relief to read stories in a more informal style, about the celebrities that walk among us. Our aim was only to ease the spirit and lighten our readers' hearts.
...But, perhaps we have failed.
Results of a recent survey suggest most readers genuinely enjoy the gossip column. However, we invite our readers to write a little more in-depth about their experience. Do you disapprove of the gossip column?
On a lesser, but still important note, we wish to note to Miss Cykes that a newspaper is protected from revealing its sources when those sources wish to be anonymous. Without that guarantee, people would never contribute to a paper for fear of exposure, and betraying that trust would be a fundamental break with the principles of good journalism. Where sources are public and open, they are noted.
-Editor, Myriam Scuttlebutt." ]
[ The next section is titled:
"GOSSIP"
There is a simple note that says:
"Miss Tattler's column does not appear this week.
However, the 300 credit offer for someone who maintains a three-month long relationship with Sir Integra Hellsing is still available. Pictured below: Sir Hellsing. "
[ Below this is:
"CORRECTIONS:
Last week, the gossip column listed Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey had broken into an apartment. This was true, however they have both made statements that the apartment in question belonged to a missing friend by the name of Apollo Justice, and that they were breaking in to investigate and find information as to his whereabouts. Also that there wasn't anything in there worth stealing, and even if there was, Apollo would probably have let them take it.
We apologize for any confusion." ]
[ Next page is dedicated to "Missing Persons" and reads as follows:
"An unverified person styling themselves "Lord" Cain C. Hargreaves is searching for his butler, a mister Riff Raffit. He is described as "quite tall, broad-shouldered, with fair hair and blue eyes, probably wearing a well-pressed suit in blue or gray. He's left-handed, strongly built and maddeningly altruistic."
Riff Raffit is of such reportedly high character he is likely to be seen "...rescuing a kitten from a tree, aiding a gentlewoman with her garden or teaching underprivileged children how to box." Any reports should be addressed to "Lord" Cain C. Hargreaves. No reward has been offered for this information. Mr. Hargreaves has expressed that as his employer, he is considering docking Mr. Raffit's paycheck."
"Friends are searching for beloved pillar of the community Apollo Justice, pictured here:
. Mr. Justice has been missing since yesterday morning and various persons are just worried sick about him. Please report all information to Athena Cykes."
"A reporter for the Cerealia Times, Inaba Himeko went missing several days ago, only to reappear with the sudden message that she had returned to her world and then been brought back. We have no explanation for this phenomenon, but will continue to investigate and report in hopes it will help the search for any individuals who also go missing." ]
[ Below is a box which reads: "Want to print a message in The Cerealia Times? We print announcements, statements, job advertisements, etc! Contact..." (and there's a text reading of the link to Scuttlebutt's inbox.) ]
[ The following positions are listed:
Publisher: Myriam Scuttlebutt
Editor: Myriam Scuttlebutt
Lead Reporter: Leia Rolando
Reporter: Myriam Scuttlebutt
Reporter: Inaba Himeko
Photojournalist: Myriam Scuttlebutt
Correspondent: Myriam Scuttlebutt
Gossip columnist: Miss Tattler
Music columnist: Nonon Jakuzure
Horoscopes: Pearl Fey
Love Advice columnist: Miss Maggie
It specifies that letters to the editor can be delivered in person to Myriam Scuttlebutt. (No details of where or who she is.) ]
[ Another blurb reads: "Story sources and employees wanted! Inquire at..." (and there's a text reading of the link to Scuttlebutt's inbox.) ]
[ A final blurb reads: "Did we get it wrong? If you wish to correct a factual statement, leave your correction at..." (and there's a text reading of the link to Scuttlebutt's inbox.) ]
cardboard_journalism & the people around herWhen: January 17th, morning
Where: Different places around Cerealia!
What: Myriam Scuttlebutt's newspaper, 3rd edition!
Rating/Warning: (possibly some PG content?)
[ January 17th, the third edition of her paper The Cerealia Times was ready. There hadn't been any particularly strong events this week, but after raking in responses from the online survey, she was confident in this edition. Read all about it, Cerealia! This was the real news! ]
[ ...Which all changed at about six AM when the feed on the network started. ]
[ Oops. Well, nothing to be done! She'd get her papers distributed as quickly as possible and then run back to write up stories for the NEXT scoop! ]
A. OTA
[ Myriam Scuttlebutt, wearing her cardboard box, carries a stack of bundles of Cerealia Times in a cardboard box on a hand-truck and tries to convince businesses (especially cafes!) to set them out for people to take, free of charge. Maybe you're a worker she's trying to persuade? Or maybe you're a worker sitting on the sidelines wondering who this weirdo in a cardboard box is. She will definitely be coming around to any business that accepted them in the past! ]
B. OTA
[ Myriam Scuttlebutt, wearing her cardboard box, sits behind a register at the School Supply Store she works at. She rings people up blandly and then excitedly offers a copy of the paper with their purchase. Alternatively, Scuttlebutt behind a register is a sitting duck who can't escape anyone bringing up complaints about her paper. ]
C. Either/or!
[ No interaction with Scuttlebutt herself, just read the paper and post your own reaction wherever they may be! Maybe leave her a comment on her inbox or go track her down to complain with another prompt. The paper can definitely be found at Archer's food-stand, Thistle Do Nicely flower-tea shop, and the Opera House. ]
D. Semi-open [directed to
psycholawgy but open to anyone who might be at The Little Sister cosplay cafe][Scuttlebutt came by with her usual bundle to The Littler Sister cosplay cafe, and if she saw Athena would plead with her.]
"Let me set it out, Athena! Look, Miss Tattler didn't write anything this week! So, it's okay, right? Kahk-kahk-kahk..."
[ It looks, feels, and smells, like a newspaper, and the top above-the-fold part of the paper reads as follows ]
"Because newspapers can't be hacked!"
Date: January 17th, ? year. Price: Free
byline: Myriam Scuttlebutt
- It is a matter of public record that the protection of rule of law does not amount to much in Cerealia. Police, though enthusiastic, are intentionally kept from doing their jobs and receive little support from the CERES' corporation itself. However, it has been uncertain how this lapse in law enforcement translates to actual crime committed... UNTIL NOW!
"In one day, the average person in the entertainment district would meet six pickpockets and have their valuable stolen three times, perhaps even seven," reported one anonymous source who was counting. "I would advise that any colonists keep their valuables close to them in that area."
In regards to how exactly one should best protect their valuables from pickpockets, he advised: "Have amazing reflexes. And only one pocket."
Whatever is the cause of this crime, it is NOT the fault of those relocated. We call on the CERES company to better enable our existing police force to properly deter these crimes.- It is a matter of public record that the protection of rule of law does not amount to much in Cerealia. Police, though enthusiastic, are intentionally kept from doing their jobs and receive little support from the CERES' corporation itself. However, it has been uncertain how this lapse in law enforcement translates to actual crime committed... UNTIL NOW!
[ The below-the-fold story reads: ]
Massive pileup! Water park attendees find themselves stopped in blocked pipe! Will there be more victims?!
byline: Myriam Scuttlebutt
- At least six victims were identified yesterday, January 16th as the victim of a blocked tube at the local water-park. The blockage is believed to have been caused by a raft that unexpectedly flipped upward and got stuck, causing much mayhem for all attendees who subsequently followed the original person. It is believed the person responsible for the accidental blockage was local delinquent Ryuko Matoi who caused local burning youth Rock Lee to become stuck. It is believed this occurrence was accidental.
Struggling continued for many long, awkward minutes. At least one victim was able to achieve safety by clambering back up the water pipe, leaving the rest to fend for themselves. "Whoever that guy was: you left us all behind! Thanks for nothing!" said one victim, Myriam Scuttlebutt.- At least six victims were identified yesterday, January 16th as the victim of a blocked tube at the local water-park. The blockage is believed to have been caused by a raft that unexpectedly flipped upward and got stuck, causing much mayhem for all attendees who subsequently followed the original person. It is believed the person responsible for the accidental blockage was local delinquent Ryuko Matoi who caused local burning youth Rock Lee to become stuck. It is believed this occurrence was accidental.
[ Another story below-the-fold reads: ]
Giant-mechanical crab made mincemeat of by local pigtails!
byline: Myriam Scuttlebutt
- At the same water-park on January 16th, a pig-tailed fashionista known by the name Nui Harime did battle with a giant mechanical crab. Nui reportedly toyed with it for a while before finally becoming bored and putting the thing out of its misery. Further investigation showed that this Nui was responsible for the giant crab appearing in the first place! This reporter concludes Nui was likely just being a big hot-dog.
[ Next page is Local News. The top story: ]
The Saiyan Menace: Evil Overlords, or Nothing To Worry About?
-----byline: Myriam Scuttlebutt
- Sitting down with local crime-fighter Patrolman Jaco, this reporter had the opportunity to learn about a threat that Mr. Jaco felt most passionately about: the Saiyan Menace.
"They're a savage race of warriors from a planet named Vegeta! All they do is fight all of the time, and one saiyan can eradicate an entire planet of law abiding aliens! They're evil, cruel, and would exterminate a whole race just to sell their planet!"
Strong words. Bold words. It was with a healthy degree of skepticism that this reporter went straight to local Saiyan Prince Vegeta for his statement and to provide his half of the story.
The following is his response, unedited:
"I am Vegeta, the prince of all Saiyans, a race of elite warriors from the planet Vegeta! We have spent generation upon generation destroying all of those foolish enough to stand in our way. I alone have snuffed out the lives of thousands, maybe even millions, in my duty to rid the universe of garbage, like your race.
Yes, I am evil. Yes, I am cruel. And yes, I could absolutely obliterate this planet in the blink of an eye."
He went on to say he had a negative opinion of the CERES corporation. He also had a negative opinion of Patrolman Jaco. Although not familiar with him personally, he referred to all patrolmen as "galactic roaches... hoping not to be stepped on."
Given all this, it begets the question: why isn't Tellus destroyed yet and sold off to the highest intergalactic bidder?
Perhaps Prince Vegeta will have an answer, next week! We wish him the best of luck in all of his non-evil activities!
Picture here of Patrolman Jaco and Patrolman Jaco's best artistic rendering of Prince Vegeta, drawn on a napkin.- Sitting down with local crime-fighter Patrolman Jaco, this reporter had the opportunity to learn about a threat that Mr. Jaco felt most passionately about: the Saiyan Menace.
Spotlight on business: Thistle Do Nicely
byline: Myriam Scuttlebutt
- Local combination flower-shop and tea-shop Thistle Do Nicely is located at [insert address]. They do flower arrangements, bouquets, and serve tea in a special tea-serving room. Senior worker Miss Vietnam prepared the arrangement seen here quickly and skillfully. Although it was intended as a demonstration, this reporter was so taken she purchased it, at full market price. Miss Vietnam chatted with me as I waited.
Q: "How are you? Describe your normal day working here. How many customers would you say come in every day?"
A: "I am well, thank you! A normal day would consist of me coming to open the store along with the other full time staff on weekdays. We then set it up, prepare the flowers and the food. On a quiet day, we would just look after the flowers and help prepare ingredients in the kitchen.
The number of customers coming in to buy flowers is seasonal. For example, outside of the Christmas period, we are lucky to even get a handful. During special occasions, we can easily sell out what is in demand. It has improved greatly after the tea shop opened, much more consistent number of customers."
Q: "Do you plan to make any other changes in the future?"
A: "At the moment we are in a good position."
Q: "How have recent events impacted you?"
A: "Normally, it does not affect us at all. It seems like a florist is trivial enough for it to be ignored. However, whenever something happens in this city, whatever happens to us impairs our abilities to perform. That and it is dangerously out of our control, like last Christmas."
Q: "Did that event affect your business? Was there any damage to the store, merchandise, or your staff?"
A: "It did in that we couldn't even get in. Thankfully the interior was fine because of how we were all locked out. As for damages. My staff are also my friends, and some ended up greatly injured. They are fine now, but it was close."
Miss Vietnam works regularly and personally prepared the pictured arrangement.- Local combination flower-shop and tea-shop Thistle Do Nicely is located at [insert address]. They do flower arrangements, bouquets, and serve tea in a special tea-serving room. Senior worker Miss Vietnam prepared the arrangement seen here quickly and skillfully. Although it was intended as a demonstration, this reporter was so taken she purchased it, at full market price. Miss Vietnam chatted with me as I waited.
[ "Local gives thumbs-up to Mexican Food Cart in Entertainment district! "It definitely satisfied my craving," one customer was heard to say." ]
[ "Weather: Probably cold. Air quality: not-the-best." ]
[ There's a section titled: "MUSIC". In it, space has been allocated to Jakuzure Nonon. A photo of her conducting is here.
The article, byline Nonon Jakuzure, continues from where it left off last week, but Nonon's high-handed style of writing seems a little easier. This week continues tribute to Ludwig van Beethoven, the most influential composer who ever lived. A loving description of Violin Romance #2 and how it's a beautiful piece of an affair a solo violin paired with orchestra has is detailed.]
[ Next section is:
HOROSCOPES: by Fortune Teller Pearl Fey.
♈ Aries (3/21 - 4/19); The stars are in your favor this week! Don't be nervous, your dreams are coming into reality. Be assertive and hold on tight, and things will go your way. Your lucky number is 52.
♉ Taurus (4/20 - 5/20); You're looking for love in all the right places! That special someone is sure to appear, all you have to do is look! Your lucky color this week is red.
♊ Gemini (5/21 - 6/21); You may prove to be your own doom... but in better news, this week is the perfect time to buy that special item you've been eyeing! Your lucky letter is J.
♋ Cancer (6/22 - 7/22); You may be more focused on money this week than love, and if you're not careful you'll lose both! Your lucky animal is the giraffe.
♌ Leo (7/23 - 8/22); You're magnetic this week, everyone will be drawn to your charisma! This is definitely the week to focus on building friendships! Your lucky number is 14.
♍ Virgo (8/23 - 9/22); Looks like your love life may hit a rough patch this week. But with a little attention, you can get it back on the rails and make it really shine! Avoid the color yellow.
♎ Libra (9/23 - 10/22); This week is one for justice! Don't let anyone push you around, and stand up for yourself! You may have to. Your lucky animal is the owl.
♏ Scorpio (10/23 - 11/21); There's love in store for you... but it might not be requited! But don't let that stop you, if you fall head over heels go for it! Your lucky color is yellow.
♐ Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21); This is a week for honesty! If there's anything you've been holding back, let it go. Avoid dogs.
♑ Capricorn (12/22 - 1/19); You might feel like you've hit that jackpot this week, but don't loose focus! Or else that jackpot will just turn out to be a crockpot. Your lucky number is 27.
♒ Aquarius (1/20 - 2/18); Have your eye on a special someone? This is the week to go for it and confess your feelings! Even if they don't return them, it will be worth it. Your lucky color is purple.
♓ Pisces (2/19 - 3/20); Trust your instincts this week! They may keep you from making a huge mistake-- and might lead you to love's doorstep! Your lucky animal is the turtle. ]
[Next section is:
Love Advice ♥ with Miss Maggie
"How can you tell if someone could be interested in a date? How do you let someone know you would be available as something more than a friend? What is a good way to ask someone on a date? What are good locations for dates in this city?" - Hopeful Haley
-These are a lot of essential questions you need to ask when you're getting into the dating scene. Good that you're thinking of all of them together like this, Haley, because it's gonna make it a lot easier on you in the long run!
-Okay, we'll tackle this one at a time. Knowing whether or not someone is interested in dating really depends on the person. Some people are actively looking for people to date, but some can be really shy about this kind of thing, or they don't know how to really express themselves romantically! So if you're wondering if someone is interested, the best thing to do is approach them and ask. You don't have to ask them if they'd be interested in dating you, if you want to know before you pop that question! You can ask them something like, "What do you think about romance?" "How do you feel about dating?" "Are you looking for anyone to date right now?" Questions like this will definitely get you your answer, even if they don't actually answer you. If they seem to get flustered or very, very shy all of a sudden, they're probably interested but just scared!
-The next two questions actually go hand in hand. The best way to approach this is to just be honest, and ask them if they'd be interested in dating you! You can either phrase the question like that, or you can ask them out! To ask someone on a date, you need to be confident. There are a lot of different ways to approach it, but you always need to be confident, otherwise they'll just think you want to do friend things! So sit them down, look them in the eyes and ask them! "Would you like to go out with me?" It doesn't have to be exactly like that, but you wanna make sure they're going to know what you mean. Ask them to dinner, or to see a movie with you!
-As for locations, you can take them anywhere! Traditional locations would be a restaurant or cafe, or a movie theatre if you're doing a movie date. But unconventional dates are just as good! Think picnic in the park, a day at the arcade, things that allow you both to enjoy yourself. The point of the date is to get to know each other better, so as long as whatever you're doing allows you to do this, and you're having a good time, don't let tradition limit your view! I once had a date hanging out in a graveyard and it was one of the best ones I'd ever had!
[Included after this is a short list of three restaurants and three cafes found in the city for specific suggestions.]
"My dear friend is in need of help, how does one confess to another who, while likes them, appears to be a little oblivious? I am not pretending that the friend is myself, this is truly for another." - Amiable Arnold
-Arnold, you need to tell this friend that they need to be straight with them! If the person seems oblivious, that just means they need it spelled out. So instead of trying any shy or cute things, just come out and say it! "Friend, I would like to be your girlfriend/boyfriend!" They need to be honest about their feelings, that way nothing is confused or missed by this oblivious person! Try not to be aggressive though. Just a calm, honest talk with them should do the trick.
"Why are humans so strange when it comes to loving? And also should humans marry Saiyan war mongering royalty?" - Careful Conner
-Conner, humans are probably strange when it comes to loving because we're so different from one another! Everyone has a different idea of what "love" is and because of that, they all have their own ways of expressing it! And it's probably going to look even weirder to someone who isn't human, since non-humans all have their own idea of what love is too! The stranger it is though, the more genuine it'll be! So don't let our strange human love rituals put you off if you're interested! You just gotta jump into the human love game feet first because I guarantee you that you'll find someone to love!
-Because yes, humans should absolutely marry Saiyan war mongering royalty. It doesn't matter who or what you are, you deserve love, and if that love comes from a different species then don't judge it! Embrace it! Put it in a gentle choke hold of other-worldly affection and show it that war mongering royalty - Saiyan or otherwise - can love just like humans can! Or vice versa, if your heart is set on some galactic monarch looking to rule the cosmos!
[ there's a note that requests for love advice can be submitted anonymously or not to Myriam Scuttlebutt's inbox. ]
[ Next section is labeled: "Letters to the Editor" ]
Dear Editor of the Cerealia Times & it's readers,
My name is Pearl Fey, and I'd like to apologize for my actions with the past newspaper. I edited as many as I could find with a pen, which was an overreaction and rather rude. I'm sorry if anyone read these altered papers, they were not as Miss Scuttlebutt and the rest of the Cerealia Times' people intended. And to Miss Scuttlebutt and Miss Tattler for these unsanctioned alterations, I meant no harm and I apologize if I caused any.
And to the readers, I urge anyone else who takes issue with the Cerealia Times to contact Miss Scuttlebutt directly, instead of doing what I did. Which was take it upon myself to "fix" the paper and not contact her until afterward with an angry text. Be sure to send her an angry text instead of vandalizing the paper!
Sincerely,
Pearl Fey
(This letter was verified as written by Pearl Fey by the editor.)
[ There is a response:
"On behalf of The Cerealia Times, its readers, and the free press, Miss Pearl Fey: your apology is accepted.
Censorship is the biggest threat that exists to the free press. Censorship comes in all forms. Sometimes, censorship is the work of an appointed officer, acting on behalf of some authority, that strikes out material intended for printing because the information provided is against the interests of the authority. This is why a free press is so important to a free society. In places with a guaranteed free press, readers are guaranteed the information provided to them is relevant, accurate, and free of biases.
Sometimes, errors occur in the printed material, and these are genuine mistakes. Every journalist makes every attempt to avoid them, but they are a fact of human existence: nothing is perfect. If you are a reader and you have identified a mistake, the correct response is to report it to the editor so that a later edition will issue a clarification, correction, or in very extreme cases, a retraction and apology.
The incorrect response is to take matters into your own hands. Last week we reported the misguided Rock Lee, who took it upon himself to confront and harass a reporter for a perceived wrong that he afterward apologized for. This week, a Miss Mia Fey harassed the editor with unfounded threats of a lawsuit, even when explained how the law protected the paper, which does, and always will, operate within the confines of the law. The threat of legal action, forcing a newspaper staff to devote time and resources to providing a legal defense when it could be using them for reporting, is another form of harassment just as sure as physically confronting a journalist as she does her assigned duties of reporting the news.
If you're reading this, we thank you for your support of The Cerealia Times and hope you too will join us in celebrating the benefits of the free press.
-Editor, Myriam Scuttlebutt." ]
To the Editor-in-Chief of of The Cerealia Times,
I am writing to you to formally show my disapproval of your gossip section. I had hoped that this newspaper would bring out the truth, but you are contradicting your own mission by adding a gossip section to each issue. Your paper is nothing more than a tabloid to me now.
I will not be correcting any of the baseless lies that you have already printed, as I'm 100% certain that you will continue printing these, anyway.
As the primary contact for the paper's distribution at one of the local cafes, I refuse to have our customers read these speculations about people. It is not worth their while. As such, we will only be providing issues of your newspaper if and when each article provides proper evidence to back up its text.
Best,
Athena Cykes
(This letter was verified as written by Athena Cykes by the editor.)
[ There is a response:
"A tabloid is a name for a size of sheet paper used in printing. A standard broadsheet found in most American papers is 12 inches wide and 20 inches long. The Cerealia Times uses this format. A tabloid is 11 inches wide and 17 inches long. The Cerealia Times does not use this format, therefore it is not a tabloid.
The gossip column was introduced for several reasons. One, many publications in this modern age feature a gossip column as entertainment, even if the bulk of their stories is objective in tone and lacking the emphasis found in the gossip column. Make no mistake: the gossip column does have standards.
Two: in this brave new world of Cerealia, where we relocated are so far from everything we once held dear, the gossip column was judged as a worthy attempt at providing levity to those in a grim situation. Perhaps readers would be able to experience a little relief to read stories in a more informal style, about the celebrities that walk among us. Our aim was only to ease the spirit and lighten our readers' hearts.
...But, perhaps we have failed.
Results of a recent survey suggest most readers genuinely enjoy the gossip column. However, we invite our readers to write a little more in-depth about their experience. Do you disapprove of the gossip column?
On a lesser, but still important note, we wish to note to Miss Cykes that a newspaper is protected from revealing its sources when those sources wish to be anonymous. Without that guarantee, people would never contribute to a paper for fear of exposure, and betraying that trust would be a fundamental break with the principles of good journalism. Where sources are public and open, they are noted.
-Editor, Myriam Scuttlebutt." ]
[ The next section is titled:
"GOSSIP"
There is a simple note that says:
"Miss Tattler's column does not appear this week.
However, the 300 credit offer for someone who maintains a three-month long relationship with Sir Integra Hellsing is still available. Pictured below: Sir Hellsing. "
[ Below this is:
"CORRECTIONS:
Last week, the gossip column listed Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey had broken into an apartment. This was true, however they have both made statements that the apartment in question belonged to a missing friend by the name of Apollo Justice, and that they were breaking in to investigate and find information as to his whereabouts. Also that there wasn't anything in there worth stealing, and even if there was, Apollo would probably have let them take it.
We apologize for any confusion." ]
[ Next page is dedicated to "Missing Persons" and reads as follows:
"An unverified person styling themselves "Lord" Cain C. Hargreaves is searching for his butler, a mister Riff Raffit. He is described as "quite tall, broad-shouldered, with fair hair and blue eyes, probably wearing a well-pressed suit in blue or gray. He's left-handed, strongly built and maddeningly altruistic."
Riff Raffit is of such reportedly high character he is likely to be seen "...rescuing a kitten from a tree, aiding a gentlewoman with her garden or teaching underprivileged children how to box." Any reports should be addressed to "Lord" Cain C. Hargreaves. No reward has been offered for this information. Mr. Hargreaves has expressed that as his employer, he is considering docking Mr. Raffit's paycheck."
"Friends are searching for beloved pillar of the community Apollo Justice, pictured here:
"A reporter for the Cerealia Times, Inaba Himeko went missing several days ago, only to reappear with the sudden message that she had returned to her world and then been brought back. We have no explanation for this phenomenon, but will continue to investigate and report in hopes it will help the search for any individuals who also go missing." ]
[ Below is a box which reads: "Want to print a message in The Cerealia Times? We print announcements, statements, job advertisements, etc! Contact..." (and there's a text reading of the link to Scuttlebutt's inbox.) ]
[ The following positions are listed:
Publisher: Myriam Scuttlebutt
Editor: Myriam Scuttlebutt
Lead Reporter: Leia Rolando
Reporter: Myriam Scuttlebutt
Reporter: Inaba Himeko
Photojournalist: Myriam Scuttlebutt
Correspondent: Myriam Scuttlebutt
Gossip columnist: Miss Tattler
Music columnist: Nonon Jakuzure
Horoscopes: Pearl Fey
Love Advice columnist: Miss Maggie
It specifies that letters to the editor can be delivered in person to Myriam Scuttlebutt. (No details of where or who she is.) ]
[ Another blurb reads: "Story sources and employees wanted! Inquire at..." (and there's a text reading of the link to Scuttlebutt's inbox.) ]
[ A final blurb reads: "Did we get it wrong? If you wish to correct a factual statement, leave your correction at..." (and there's a text reading of the link to Scuttlebutt's inbox.) ]
no subject
no subject
[ The best hacker girlfriend ever. ]
no subject
[Archer is showing off his old fogeyness.]
no subject
I was also interviewed about a certain message we posted by someone associated with this paper.
no subject