cuz i'm an albatraoz . ( closed )

[beissen]

Who: heine rammsteiner beissen & rin matsuoka jawdacity
When: ic: day before the waterworks?
Where: gardens
What: one dumb angry idiot teaches another dumb angry idiot how to hold a knife
Rating/Warning: ... one dumb angry idiot teaches another dumb angry idiot how to hold a knife

---

[ even as heine tracked his steps to the location, apprehension clung to squared shoulders like a bleary cloud. he doubted he took the quickest route to get to the damn leafy area, and had taken enough wrong turns to be thoroughly irate at the lay of streets but surprisingly, his arrival was still generally timely.

more luck than refined planning, heine falters upon the entrance to the gardens, sudden tension wrought as steel against artificial vertebrae, and his hands are buried deeper into his pockets. he's never seen a place so green before, and when he stalks into it, searching for either the clearing or the shock of contrasting maroon against the rest of the earthy tonality, his expression is kept stiff.

it was hard not to look and listen to the ambient sound of it all, and until he actually registers it enough to force steady breaths, they come shallow. too many memories, or too many broken promises, all culminating in one big failure. (why should he be seeing this, when the two people that wanted to the most would never be able to?)

so he passes fingers along the white bandage on his neck, and smooths the high collar of his coat. the chain to his gun sways with each step, even if the noise isn't loud, it embodies comfort. comfort attached to the triggers of guns and perhaps that was the exact embodiment of him.

he, of course, hadn't put tremendous thought into how he was actually going to impart his wisdom ( h a h ) on the kid. he brought his knife, his guns. he'll see where rin is at. heine wasn't going to teach theory, because he had little capacity for it when it came to fight -

- he finds the clearing, and a moment later, whether rin was just coming around, or already waiting, the only form of greeting heine provided is pivoting his shoulders towards him. ] Ready, then?

[ the way heine directs his gaze is specifically to rin. the green nature of his surroundings wouldn't be distracting in the long run, but the current lethargy was making it hard to entirely drop his discomfort away. ]

Comments

[beissen]

[ he doesn't pass any more comment on the issue. it was too complicated, and he regrets saying anything at all, and with that it is simpler to ignore any reaction rin gives.

a roll of a shoulder and internalization is returned to solidity, a thing that came quicker, now that the fragile stems were far behind him.

sounds like you're still carrying them around and he knows it's true. but there were no other options, not for him. he can't explain, and he doesn't think he should. that's his boulder to carry and he's gotten accustomed to the weight anyway.

maybe everyone had their demons dragging around. and everyone had their losses. to dwell on it further, to vocalize and clarify is just tedious. instead theres derision towards his look of all things and it's easy to twist a smirk as though the other remarks never even happened. ] Hah, what's that supposed to mean? I'm not colourful enough for you?

[ roses. how odd, to think about actually holding a flower. he'd - rather not, in fact. ] It'd die in a day. Max.

We could place bets. [ unless you want to give him a crash course on plant care. ]

[jawdacity]

[ it's the end result rin had wanted -- heine returning to the easy ebb and flow of banter that they've established as the norm.

but he still feels off-kilter.

rin's a problem-solver. when his friends have issues, he does his best to solve those issues. and if he can't, then he makes sure he provides whatever possible to facilitate the cure.

but this - heine - isn't something easily picked apart. he'll let it lie today, but tomorrow, the day after, the day after that, he's going to figure heine out. and he's going to take all those jagged pieces and see how they fit back together.

besides, they're going to be spending a hell of a lot of time together. might as well make it interesting. ]

I don't think flowers can even die that quickly. [ well, considering heine... ] Unless you shoot it. Which doesn't count.

[beissen]

[ turning away was the better solution, and bitten words and serrated halfgrins were the cover.

he does not know many people who will push to the very extent rin will. maybe before, people knew better than to ask questions, and would settle for any halfassed answers given. with rin, heine felt as though his words were always cataloged with a look that was sharper and brighter than he had given him credit for.

it was an unknown thing, the attempt to be understood. the process of talking to someone who understood humanity better than heine had any right to. his problem solving skills too often involved fingers curled around triggers. he'd likely balk at a porblem that couldn't be solved by punching someone in the nose. ]

I wouldn't know. [ well, considering it's heine...rin's observation is terrible correct.] Shooting anything usually does the trick - [ a beat, a curious tilt and a snort. ] - so what do you mean it doesn't count?

[jawdacity]

[ he can't help it. rin spent too many years caught in the misery of his own skin, unable to reach out to anyone for fear of letting on just how unhappy he was.

it's different, now. he may not have heine's terrible ability to shift from placid to deadly in a moment flat, but he has a heart -- a heart that wants to understand as much as it has always wanted to be understood. maybe that's just as dangerous.

so he lets the difficult moment slide, though he knows they'll be revisiting this topic in the days to come. in detail or otherwise, he doesn't know -- either way, this isn't the last heine is going to hear of rin's incessant need to know about his friends.

better to smooth a furrowed brow than to let the angry secrets fester. rin knows that better than anyone. ]

You can't bet on your inability to take care of a plant and then shoot it to win.

[ a raised eyebrow in turn. ]

Isn't that breaking some cardinal sin, anyway? "Don't waste bullets on sad cute plants that can't fight back" — ?

[beissen]

Cardinal sin? [ that gets a chuckle, and he thinks of bullets, and gunshots and wonders how many he's wasted. or what it meant to be wasteful with those deadly slivers and honestl,y he's got no good answer. ] I'd say letting a gun sit without use is worse.

[ a weapon with no purpose. though that is unclear if that refers to him or his guns but maybe that was the key to understanding him. purpose and usefulness written out against the lack of it and some inane urge to fulfill it all the same. give back to the bitch that gave it to him, with the ferocity of a berserker.

heine couldn't speak too much of hearts. or maybe he didn't want to. (it was too complicated, and didn't he have enough to worry about without the need to understand someone else?) ] Why keep a plant, anyway?

[jawdacity]

[ isn't it the other way around? a gun sitting by without use... that's the way it should be.

every conversational turn is another reminder that heine is different. that heine's priorities have been flipped to an unrecognizable conformation. ]

I dunno. Same reason people keep pets, I guess.

[ they force you to care about a sliver of life outside the expanse of your own body. life that's wholly dependent upon your ability to care for it.

maybe that's taking it too far. rin raised a puppy as a child, and there were times when he loved her more than he loved himself.

but a plant — that's a symbol. a fragment of green in tellus's technological haze. rin doesn't know how to put that thought into words, or he doesn't want to watch heine's expression lighten with condescension were he to try, so he closes his teeth around the sentiment. ]

You could get a dog instead, if plants aren't your thing. A yappy robot pomeranian.