estoria | [closed]

[ Horikawa you nearly gave him a heart attack.

He's actually really lucky because if Hijikata didn't recognize his voice or anything he probably would've been treated like an intruder and be attacked. Still, having his curtains suddenly flying open and Horikawa waking Hijikata up with much enthusiasm doesn't stop him from jolting up from bed utterly surprised. ]

How the hell did you even get in here-?! [ He asks his sword that he used for assassination... Yep. Good morning, Horikawa! This is the greeting you're getting. But geez, he didn't even hear him...?

So finally, he lets out an exasperated sigh (he's not that mad okay, it's just... Hijikata, being Hijikata. Anything he does makes him seem grumpy), and runs his hand through his bangs. ]

Honestly... [ He's too old for these surprises? What the heck. ] Okay, okay, speak. Explain yourself already. [ He also may or may not be less harsh on Horikawa just because he's supposed to be his sword... Listen, he broke into his apartment, come on. ]

Edited (i was sleepy when i wrote this) 2015-10-17 06:03 (UTC)

[For all of that exaggerative reaction, Horikawa only tilts his head with a puzzled but polite smile.]

Huh? Isn't it obvious? I came to wake you up, Hijikata-san!

[He also came through the front door, because he's very polite and elegant? Jeez, Hijikata, it's not like he's broken through your window or anything like that! No harm, no foul. Anyway, he isn't dissuaded by the somewhat grumpy demeanour that greets him; it's a fresh change from the whiny one that he's met with on occasion, and he isn't unused to Hijikata's temperament.]

We've been here for a while, so I wondered if you could use any assistance. I've made breakfast and everything! [And he's pretty proud of it too, if he does say so himself. The smells wafting from the kitchen are delicious, and Horikawa ensured that he only made the best of well-rounded meals to wake Hijikata up to in the morning to start his day. There's probably orange juice in the fridge too, just waiting to be poured, so of course he's eager to get the other up to eat it.] You should probably wash up before you eat.

[Because, of course, waking up to a practically-stranger sword uninvited in his apartment, and in his room no less, he obviously shares Horikawa's breakfast priorities. Luckily he isn't Kane-san; in that case, Horikawa would likely have been so bold as to simply take hold of his wrist and pull him out of bed, if need be!]

[ Hijikata rubs the side of his head almost in disbelief. In an attempt to wake up more he blinks a few times, and to make sure this isn't a dream or anything – nope... Still in this weird apartment, and still staring at this kid that's apparently a manifestation of his own sword. ]

Well, it's not as if I have anything against having an assistant... But if you're really going to show up here uninvited just ask next time so you don't surprise me half to death. I don't have a reason to really decline, I think. [ Geez! Honestly! Well, if Horikawa really wants to make himself an assistant to Hijikata like this... So be it. He's a busy man after all, it's actually welcomed. Anyway... He does end up noticing the smell that lingers throughout the apartment now, and he nods. Despite almost having a heart attack he finally relaxes. ]

Hm, it does smell pretty good. Looks like it's time to see if your skills taste as well as it smells. [ Seriously though, can swords cook? What is this! Although, with Horikawa's proud expression that's all too noticeable on his features, he must've worked hard on it. Hijikata could practically sense the eagerness coming from the sword, so it looks like it's time to get this day started, huh. ]

Okay, okay. [ Covering his mouth for a moment to let out a tired yawn. ] Give me a few minutes. Just... Wait in the main room or something.

[ So... Off to the bathroom he goes!? He definitely didn't want Horikawa to follow him, okay. Hijikata... He has his struggles with the modern technology, honestly. He doesn't want to make a fool of himself in front of his own sword? Well, technically he already has when they first met but still – Embarrassing!

Anyway, he simply washes his face before he does anything else and rubs it dry with a hand towel. ] Huh... Where did that comb go... [ Oh. Oops, looks like it fell in between the counter and the toilet. With a sigh he kneels down to retrieve it off the ground (one thing he doesn't notice is some of his hair dipping into the toilet bowl as he does this). He only notices his mistake when he accidentally grabs the toilet hand and pushes it down when he uses it to lift himself up - he feels a sudden tug, and no... It's not even a tug it's a constant pull and he feels his head getting jerked towards the toilet, then sudden pain at his roots.

Oh.

Ohhh no... OOOHHHHH NOOOOO WHAT IS THIS???!?!?!

He has to grab the hair that the toilet is trying to take for itself because no way he's going to lose it?!?! A scream of horror can be heard over the sound of the flush, and through the apartment.

Help.

Please help. ]

[It'd be really hard to miss, but it's obvious from Horikawa's expression that once the initial confusion passes, (because the thought of being an active assistant to someone aside from Kane-san is still strange, even if it's Hijikata who calls him such,) his face absolutely lights up. Really, with a smile that wide it wouldn't be hard for somebody to think that they're looking at the sun itself! Those kinds of words give Horikawa just the kind of energy he needs, and he's eager to nod along with everything that Hijikata has to say, offering a "Right, right!" as he excuses himself, and Horikawa returns to the kitchen.

As far as he's concerned this is as good a plan as any, and so he makes sure to move one plate into the stove for the time being to keep the food on it warm. It would be no good to serve a cold meal, after all! Except, he doesn't actually get much further than that, because... with an abruptness that nearly causes him to drop the second plate in hand, he hears a terrible sound... A truly terrible sound.

The plate is dropped to the counter with a clatter, and Horikawa makes a break for the bathroom. What is going on here? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HIS PREVIOUS MASTER, UNDER HIS WATCH!! Nothing! Because Horikawa's about to put an end to it right here and now, as he BURSTS onto the scene with his sword DRAWN.]

Hijikata-san! What happened! Are you alright?!

[All of this is shouted before he has the chance to look over the premises. When his eyes rest on Hijikata he is... well, his grip on his vessel is certainly less urgent, and he blinks at least three times before he actually manages to process the scene in front of him. Hijikata Toshizou... with his hair half-way flushed down a toilet. Oh no... You can't be serious... @God why? Brows drawn together, now his voice is just flat out concerned.]

Hijikata... san...?

[ This is horrible. THIS IS SO HORRIBLE. OUT OF ALL THE THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN TO HIM... THIS...! His hair!!! Getting STUCK in the toilet?! Can it get any worse!?

Of course it can. He can hear Horikawa making his way to the bathroom, oh no, just when Hijikata thought he wouldn't be doing anything utterly embarrassing in front of the boy that's suppose to be his sword. This is awful! When Horikawa BARGES into the bathroom, with sword in hand nonetheless Hijikata waves out a hand frantically to stop him. Please do Not attack. ]

H...Hold up! Don't get ahead of yourself–! It's not that bad...

[ No. It's bad. It's terrible. Completely horrible. Dreadful. Is there any other words that can describe this nightmarish predicament? Perhaps.

Well, it seems like the toilet stopped, but the problem is... ... His hair... ]

I... ... [ Silence. Utter silence.

He's embarrassed. Ashamed of himself. He almost can't look Horikawa in the eye. He's practically screaming inwardly right now. He really wishes this is a dream, but it's not. He already had that reality check when Horikawa woke Hijikata up. Why? ]

Need help...

[WELL THIS IS......... This is really just not what Horikawa expected at all coming into this room, and when Hijikata motions for him to put away his vessel, he does pretty easily. Except, well, it's also pretty plain on his face that he's not sure what exactly he IS supposed to be doing. How does one free someone else's hair from the toilet? What typically needs to be achieved to accomplish that?

The thought of chopping it off for simplicity's sake crosses his mind momentarily, but he shakes his head quickly to dismiss it. Kane-san would be appalled to hear if Horikawa did such a thing to Hijikata! Instead, he scrambles for his pocket. There's one device that he knows can give him an answer.]

Just hold on, Hijikata-san! I'll find out what to do!

[Snap!

He takes a quick picture of the scene, and quickly chooses to send it out to a certain contact.
To: Yamatonokami Yasusada
Subject: Help!!!
Like that, he's certain that they'll get a solution. A fellow member of the Shinsengumi should be fine to ask for something like this, right? After all, they all share the same loyalties to their vice captain, even if Horikawa's may run a bit deeper. For now though, he needs to work on doing what he can for that vice captain!!]

I asked for help. Ah, what should I do now, Hijkata-san? Do you think we can pull it out?

[PROBABLY NOT, BUT... He is doing his best.]

[ Oh, geez... What was that snapping noise? Why is Horikawa consulting his CereVice in this time of panic!? Of course, Hijikata isn't one for using that device but he does clearly remember being told it was used for... Communication. Right. ]

For help? Who or... What do we need for help?

[ He doesn't get it but okay!!! Okay, okay, okay...! It's time to calm down, yes, he got this. Inhale, exhale. Hijikata is the vice captain of the Shinsengumi, he can't let this toilet get the best of him..! Or well, the best of his hair, to be more exact.

With an experimental tug of his hair, there's just so... Much of it that it actually seems to be stuck pretty snugly in the hole of the toilet bowl. This is the curse of having very thick and voluminous hair, huh!!!

Let's see... ]

Maybe... If we pull really hard... I guess? [ Seriously though... What else can they do? (that isn't cutting it off) ] Unless you have other ideas.

[ Do you really think Hijikata really knows how to unclog his own hair from a toilet? ]

Yasusada-kun! I thought he might know a solution ー I've never had to fetch anything out of a toilet before, so...

[SO... this is a new challenge for him to overcome, he guesses.

However, because apparently Yamato's most immediate advice is not exactly what's needed in this situation, after a quick moment to tap out a hurried response to the other Horikawa needs to direct his attention solely to the task at hand for the moment. That is to say, it's time to just tug it right out of the toilet. Obviously that is a very possible solution.]

I guess we have no choice, huh? [He's cautious as he approaches, because hurting Hijikata in this process would be The Greatest Sin, but there's only so much he can do like this. Despite his reservations regarding toilet water, Horikawa leans over when he's close enough, and grips tightly onto Hijikata's hair.] Alright, are you ready, Hijikata-san..?

Pull!

[Aaaaaand, he's pulling! GO! GO! GO!]

Oh... ... ... Yasusada, huh... ... ... [ Yasusada... Okay, Hijikata doesn't dislike him and he's a fellow Shinsengumi but... Horikawa is dealing with some SENSITIVE information right now. Hijikata doesn't want this tomfoolery to leave this apartment. Well, seems like sacrifices must be made.

Hijikata already had a tight grip on his hair, so he waits for Horikawa to join him. A part of him just can't believe they're... Actually doing this, and this STILL isn't a dream because the pain is real. It's so real. Also the shame. This is really embarrassing? Why did he have to make a fool of himself in front of Horikawa like this!!!

Well, at least Horikawa is a good kid that's trying his very best to be helpful. What a good sword. ]

Yeah, uh... [ Please work. ] Let's just get this over with.

[ Hijikata joins Horikawa in the pulling!!! Is it working?!? IS IT!?! HE FEELS... SOMETHING SLIPPING... COULD IT BE-!?

Ok nope. Hijikata ended up losing his grip, and (sort of) falling back (...as much as his hair allows him honestly). Honestly, he's getting tired at these sharp tugs at his roots, they hurt? Geez! He's not going to complain about the pain though, he's a strong man and the vice captain of the Shinsengumi. He'll tough it out. Anyway, he glances at the toilet, trying to be as hopeful as possible, to see if the plan worked and ... ... ... Damn! ]

Seriously... [ A SIGH. ] Let's see... Is there anything else you think we can do? Did Yasusada get any ideas?

[ To be real though, Hijikata trusts Horikawa with the ideas and the safety of his own hair rather than Yasusada. ]

Ah... well, not yet. I'm sure there must be something that we can do?

[Honestly, HONESTLY, he was hoping that they could just tug his hair out. What happened to get it so stuck up there? Why can't Hijikata just be Freed? What was done that he would deserve something like this in the admittedly majorly suspect second life chance they have right now? For a moment Horikawa wipes his hands off on a nearby towel, (ew, toilet water,) but he eyes the rest of the bathroom to look for a solution.]

Hm... [Oh, there's something!] I know! Hijikata-san, do you think we could use the plunger to get your hair out? That's what you're supposed to use when the toilet is clogged, so maybe if it's something like this..!

[His expression brightens significantly with this realization, and in an instant he's already picked it up with a much more optimistic outlook than the use of sheer force. Hopefully, it's still brand new like the rest of the apartment, but in any case he holds it over the toilet, seemingly positioning it for their next attack.]

Here, I'll try it now. Are you ready?

[ Gosh Hori, it's just toilet water. Is it really that nasty? ]

A plunger, huh... Should've said that earlier. [ Will it work? Hijikata isn't 100% sure, but you never know! Even though he's sort of in pain, and still grumpy he'll attempt to stay positive about this. Well... On the bright side, to look at it like this, Hijikata isn't sleepy anymore. Wide awake. Beautiful. Great. Ok who is he kidding, he'll need a nap later.

Anyway... Hijikata stares at the plunger, thinking: so this is what he's talking about. Horikawa is already taking the liberty to go ahead and try to attempt using that on his hair in the toilet but Hijikata is an adaptable man... He'll go with this flow. Who knows, maybe it'll work! ]

Well, if you think it'll work... I'll trust you on this. [ Just... Work. Please work. Hijikata wants this nightmare to be over once and for all. He'd even pray if he could right now. ]

[Well, yes. It is. He just won't say that because Hijikata is currently stuck in it.

Listen... That's still a bright side? Horikawa came to wake Hijikata up and get him ready for his day, and just imagine what would have happened if he wasn't here! What if the comb had fallen and Hijikata had gotten his hair stuck....... Without Him? That would have been much worse, so if he needs a bright side, this is it. His very own sword.]

Sorry, that was my bad. [He'll make sure to remember for the future though.] Then, here I go!

[SO, being the good-hearted and hard-working sword he is, Horikawa takes Hijkata's words as approval and gets to work. Placing the plunger right overtop of the vice commander's hair, he pushes it down, and starts trying to unclog the toilet with it. It's lovely. So lovely, in fact, that the description is going to get a pass because anybody who has ever unclogged a toilet knows how pleasant this experience is. The only thing that needs to be known is that the hair is stuck under a weird squashing sound that's not so great... Sorry, Hijikata.

Then, the toilet makes a different sound.]

Did it work!?

[Does water rush by, or did his hair just get clogged further ー enough to need a plumber to fix?]

[ If there's one thing Hijikata thought he wouldn't experience in his new life in this modern world it's... Getting his hair plunged from a toilet. It's happening. It's real. The Real Deal. Not a drill. What an amazing thing to be a part of (not really, it hurts).

He has to hold the rim of the toilet seat firmly so his head doesn't bob up and down with Horikawa's plunging motion because he really doesn't want to hit his head on this thing. Isn't his hair being stuck in the pipes enough?

...

Well, that's a new noise. Hijikata only blinks, somewhat in confusion- is it a good noise or a bad noise...!? No... Maybe it's good!? He lifts his head and he doesn't feel a tugging at his roots-...

Slowly and cautiously, he gives an experimental tug at his hair. It's not... Not stuck?! The nightmare is over!!! And yes, Hijikata immediately takes his hair out of the toilet (this is really gross) and distances himself away from the toilet. Hand over chest, an inhale then an exhale. ]

Oh, it actually worked. [ A pause. ] Sorry about that. Ah but... Thanks though. [ Uhh, awkward thanks aside. Now his hair is dripping all over the floor and on his clothes. It's wet and Hijikata is well aware of this. He doesn't even want to really touch it, it's probably gross? It's just toilet water thankfully, but still. Hijikata's next immediate thought is just cleaning this up. ]

Well, anyway... I'm not going to do anything until I wash this... ... So... [ Hijikata glances at Horikawa, mostly expecting him to maybe return to the main room, but-!? ]

[GOOD SOUND!!

Whatever part of Hijikata's hair had been blocking the way for the water is apparently untangled by this venture, allowing it to come free unharmed, and Horikawa to set the plunger aside in its home once again. As Hijikata backs away from the Great Beast who caused this, Horikawa makes sure to wash his hands thoroughly, drying them off again once he's done and quickly checking his Cerevice for good measure. (These really are convenient??)

Whatever Hijikata is expecting from him though, apparently Horikawa's not getting the most obvious hint. Rather than that, his nature is too helpful for him to really be so hands-off now that he's been pulled into this; most of that which would otherwise occupy his time was already finished up when he first arrived, so now this can take his full attention. Rather than making for the door, he pulls the shower curtains away from the bath tub]

That's a relief! Aah, I was really worried for a second there, you know. It would be really terrible if we'd had to cut it.

[A crisis averted!! Kane-san would probably be appalled to hear of their former master losing his luscious locks in such a way. Twisting the handles to turn the water on, Horikawa starts to try to set the temperature to something suitably hot, but not so hot as to burn Hijikata while he rinses out his hair. He raises his voice so that it's still audible over the running water, too.]

Now, what kind of shampoos do you have? It's probably best if we wash it thoroughly!

[Closes eyes opens eyes Hijikata's hair really needs any help it can get right now okay.]

[ Hijikata wanted to avoid that too. He spent a long time growing this hair out? It's one of his charm points, honestly. This is why everyone thinks he's pretty so he can't lose this hair! While it may have been damaged by THE BEAST, with a simple washing it should be back to normal! Voluminous and shiny. Hijikata obviously uses the best conditioners. ]

Right...

[ Why isn't Horikawa leaving? Hijikata raises an eyebrow as he watches Horikawa make his way to turn on the water... Hijikata just decides to wring his hair out in the sink, getting annny excess water that clings to all his hair. Ugh, kind of nasty but it's not the end of the world. Just... Toilet water. He doesn't want it dripping all over the floor though. ]

Ah, what was it called... They called it a '2-in-1' so I thought that was pretty convenient.

[ So he answers that and then a realization finally sinks in. Horikawa... ]

Wait, hold on. You're not planning on helping me wash my own hair are you-...?

[ Hijikata's a grown man! He can do this himself? But Horikawa is just always so eager and ready to jump into action when it comes to helping- he's noticed this. It may or may not catch Hijikata very off-guard. Just how much did Horikawa want to do he wonders... Does he have a limit? Is he okay with doing just about anything and everything? The real questions. ]

[Best of conditioners my ass. Horikawa frowns a little bit when he hears that, and even tilts his head in confusion when Hijikata continues on to doubt him. Listen, this is just bad news after bad news! Though, he's not really concerned, because as capable as he knows Hijikata to be in the first place, Horikawa's pretty good at being an assistant if he does say so himself! So, he perks up and nods at the suggestion.]

Of course! You called me in to help, didn't you? So, I'll do my best, Hijikata-san! Although...

[He trails off, because this is an important issue to his heart.]

In the future, is it alright if I come shopping with you? It's just that, 2-in-1 is convenient for some hair, but in order to keep hair as long as yours or Kane-san's beautiful, it's best to buy individual product for shampoo and conditioner.

[He KNOWS these things!! Or at least he has LEARNED them! Because the conditioner half of 2-in-1 is nothing less than a let-down, and if Horikawa is going to help wash hair he is not going to want to deal with the tangles that do not come out. At least, he seems to have reached a temperature that's satisfactory to him.]

Edited 2015-10-21 09:32 (UTC)

[ Hey!!! Have you seen his hair? It's very pretty. It's practically natural, he doesn't even need to do that much to keep it beautiful? Honestly, it's a gift.

But okay, he'll trust Horikawa's advice. How did he know so much? It's actually kind of interesting to listen to. ]

Hmm... I guess so. Honestly, there was an entire section for that stuff, is it really necessary? [ Like! So many brands for shampoo! What is this. Isn't one enough, he doesn't get it, but okay... Okay. ]

'Kane-san'... [ There's an eyebrow raised with curiosity as Horikawa mentions that name. Kanesan... Kanesan... Kanesa..da? Swords. Horikawa is a sword, and there's only one other sword name Hijikata knows (that's his own). Hm! How interesting! Hijikata would maybe ask more questions about this since he did kind of realize Horikawa and him haven't really talked much but... Right now, they have a hair problem and Hijikata really just wants to feel clean(er) again. ]

Ah, but anyway... It's appreciated but I think I can do this myself. [ How does one tell Horikawa he doesn't need all this help! It's very appreciated, and while it's even kind of endearing... ... ... Horikawa, he's a grown man... ]

It is. See, Hijikata-san? That's why there is an entire section!

[APPARENTLY this is super important, because Horikawa seems more than determined to get Hijikata to read Every Shampoo Bottle with him next time, especially now that he's secured his position in helping to grocery shop next time. Anyway, he skips over that "Kane-san", because it's obviously Kane-san is, right? And he's not giving up so easily on this next bit either.]

Eh? Why wouldn't I help you? [Listen, he helps with everything!! Plus, he got a pretty important warning, and his brows will draw together as he recalls it.] You know, Yasusada-kun said that you would smell worse than a skunk, I think, if we didn't cut off your hair. I still don't think that's what we should do, but isn't it better if we both make sure it's washed properly?

[It's not like you're having an ENTIRE SHOWER Hijikata, you're just dipping your hair in the tub like you dipped it in the toilet chill out!! Horikawa's already sorting through the two in one and other body washes (for the sake of the smell, really,) because he does not want to give this up.]

Sorry, Hijikata-san. If you really don't want me here, I'll go, but I thought it would be best if I stayed?

[ Well, he can't argue with that logic. ]

Yasusada said...? [ Oh. Instant frown. Yeah, Hijikata definitely doesn't want that. Though, a skunk of all things? Is (clean...? can it be called clean...) toilet water really that bad? Even so, Hijikata does want to prevent this! However, it's just still really weird having someone else that's just so willing to care for Hijikata's hair... He still wants to refuse Horikawa's help but one: he doesn't want to smell like a skunk and two: Horikawa seems to really know what he's doing!

So... There's a pause as he mulls over those thoughts then finally answers Horikawa. ]

Alright... You seem to know what you're talking about, so I'll allow it, alright? [ Look, Horikawa... He's allowing you help take care of his hair? This takes A Lot of trust, you know. Amazing, right.

Though, someday Hijikata will be able to understand this new modern world – hopefully with the help of Horikawa! How does Horikawa know all this stuff... Please, teach Hijikata the wisdom of modern technology. He definitely needs time to adjust to it all, so of course help is appreciated even though he's a type of man that would rather do things on his own. ]

So then. Let's just get this over with... Honestly, because of this I'm going to get started on work late. [ Work is important? What the heck. The horror!

Anyway, first he has to check the water for himself, not too hot and not too cold- good job Hori! Maybe he should sit down on the edge of the tub? That's not too dangerous, right? How does Horikawa want to go about this anyway... It'd just be easier if Hijikata did it himself, but he'll trust Horikawa's judgement okay... Okay... ]

[Success... Success! Horikawa grins, practically shines at being allowed to do this. He's being helpful? And for his former master no less, so honestly it's like a blessing has been given to him. (And yes, while clean toilet water might not smell like a skunk, the not-so-clean pipes his hair had been caught in...... WELL,) So yes, a lot of trust to wash Hijikata's hair is definitely Amazing.]

Don't worry, Hijikata-san! I'm sure there will be plenty of time to do work after this. Here!

[He pats beside him to sit down. Unfortunately the ground over the bathmat, so no comfortable tub sides today. But this is definitely what's most efficient! While he's at it, he stands back up for a moment to collect the shower head and bring it back down to their level. This hair is going to need a lot of rinsing. If Hijikata actually does so, Horikawa instructs him to flip his hair over his head so that it all dips into the tub, and without further hesitation, begins spraying it down with (clean) water immediately. Don't worry, it's plenty hot!! Anyway, with that out of the way...]

Hmm, what do you do here anyway? There aren't really jobs like what we're used to here, are there. [At least not recommended to him. Lingerie columnist it is!]

[ Yeah, you better be honoured Horikawa... Getting to wash Hijikata's beautiful (toilet) hair... Amazing, truly. ]

Okay, okay... Let's just hurry up and not waste anymore time.

[ Because it's still in the morning, and Hijikata's really tired? This morning has taken a lot out of him, okay! He needs some morning tea and maybe a few minutes to relax after all this. So Hijikata sits down and listens to all Horikawa's instructions so they can get this out of the way as quick as possible! No time to waste! No time to lose! Also this morning was embarrassing enough as it is, really. Hijikata just wants to move on with this so they can forget about it... ]

Hmm... Let's see. I took the jobs they recommended to me when I first arrived, Cybuddy dog groomer, kendo instructor and... Lingerie shop attendant, was it... [ Yes. Three jobs. He took all of them because why not! It keeps him busy anyway. ] Although, I wish I had more information on what a few of them was before I actually took them.

[ But oh well, Hijikata has sealed his fate... ]

[Horikawa does, honestly. Honoured, and moderately tired because this is not how he thought he would be spending his morning visit. The food he made is probably getting cold as they speak :(

Anyway, it's good if Hijikata wants to get it over with. That makes two of them, so one set of rinsing, lathering, repeating, with the shampoo and conditioner is completed pretty easily while he listens to the jobs listed off. One of them, however, causes his attention to snap up from the default amiable humouring he's used to giving off in times like this.]

Ah ー lingerie attendant? [There's a little bit of recognition flashing in Horikawa's voice even as he starts to pour what he deems an adequate amount of shampoo into Hijikata's hair. He knows that word? He just thought that word moments ago? He can't help but sound a little excited now, actually.] I'm a lingerie review columnist! I guess we have similar jobs then huh, Hijikata-san. Maybe I can help you get more business like this!

[ Oh no... Not the food... It'll be okay. They have that thing called the microwave, right? Technology does have miracles. :)

Also it's kind of weird talking about their jobs while washing hair, but you know... It's bonding time now. Hijikata can finally learn more about Horikawa's life. ]

Oh? [ Of course he knows that word? He can read okay, it was on his cerevice! Which... He still barely uses but maybe one day, when it's not so weird and off-putting. ]

Which means we can work together, can we? Hmm, that doesn't sound too bad actually.

[ Also to ask just because maybe it'd be better to take this conversation outside of the bathroom: ] Almost done?

Just about..! [Spoken absently, because to do this as quickly as possible he has to make sure he focuses and using as much hair product as he can manage on Hijikata's hair before rinsing it out. He definitely has visibly brightened at the agreement of working alongside one another again though.]

Mm! I hope I can be of assistance! Though, I still have a lot to learn when it comes to this.

[Which kind of makes sense. He's a sword used for assassination; adaptable as he may be, lingerie's a foreign world to him and he's still kind of learning what this kind of job entails.]

Here, rinse it out with this and I'll go get a towel! [Aaand he hands over the shower head. Take it away, Hijikata.]

Hmm... You're job is probably more specific, isn't it... They just want me to sell the product.

[ Which isn't hard stuff, really. Reminds him of the good ol' days... Sort of. Anyway, Horikawa seems like a capable sword so he will learn the art of lingerie reviewing easily- right?

Okay, about time! Hijikata is looking forward to getting this done and over with. Hopefully his hair won't smell *yasusada voice* like a skunk either... ]

Hey, do you need help finding one? [ Although, he's already taken the shower head and is rinsing out his hair. Yet maybe it should be obvious where the towels are usually for someone like Horikawa..? So maybe not. ]

In a way, don't you think that's very similar, Hijikata-san? You have to sell the product, but in order to do that, I can let people know that it's out there! If it happens to be something that they're interested in, they can come see you, and in that way I hope I can bring you lots of customers!

[He's definitely excited about this? Much more excited about reviewing this mysterious lingerie now, though, he's still got to work out a solid method. Apparently this review stuff takes a ton of work, though maybe if Hijikata doesn't mind, Horikawa can certainly think of a few ways that they can help mutually? In any case, his next reply comes from out somewhere in the hallway.]

That's alright! [And sure enough, he rounds the corner with a fresh blue towel in hand.] There was some laundry around earlier, so I folded it and put it away for you.

[So, you know, he already found where all the stuff goes.]

[closed]

uGH HORI YOU'RE GROUNDED...

wtf you cant ground me for doing my job

you cant tell the vice captain what to do.png UGH IM LAUGHING I HATE THIS

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M RELIVING THIS EXPERIENCE HIJIKATASAN WHY

THIS IS IT... THIS IS THE FEARED DEMON VICE CAPTAIN...

NOW HE WILL LIVE ON... IN THE CEREVICES AND THE SCRAPBOOK

NO............. WHAT IF YAMATO SHOWS KASHUU AND SOUJI THIS I CANT HAVE THAT @hakodate takme back

It Is Done. i'm sorry for your loss, at least i still think you're cool?

Hori.............. my rep.......... m gonna die

i'll restore it for you B) all they need is to hear your haikus to see?

.........HORI NO..........you can look at the haikus but they do not leave the apartment...

its okay!! i can memorize them!

HORI.... Why.. no, why would you theres not reason for this

because like i said? it's how we'll restore your rep? listen!! they'll see how cool you are

HORI... NO.. WE CANT DO THIS? dont do this. ill die

whats wrong LISTEN thats what im trying to fix!! helping

ugh hori... thats not how you fix it cant you just tell them how cool i am... what the f

stop i am PROVING how cool you are B) they will see

hides haiku book under bed. what haikus.

points at eyes points at you. i'm comin for em

pls Do Not Do This hori

dw is playing games with me tonight i see

ugh its time to beat up dw we need to lingerie bond wtf?

how dare it try to foil us tbh

i cant believe you forgot you wrote this tag last night

ugh stop i had a hard time