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Who: swordhaus + cr
When: throughout april
Where: the three apartments swordhaus uses..
What: april catch-all
Rating/Warning: probably nothing, but i'll edit as necessary.

[ sword mafia at home. ]

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[The worst part of fevers is the way time sometimes seems to drag endlessly, and sometimes it passes in great big chunks without any sense of change or movement in between. You close your eyes, and when you open them again you have lost three hours with no recollection of how that even happened.

That's the state Souji is in now. Time drags and skips and stutters and slips, and the world around him seems unreal and fluid, too bright and strangely muffled at once. At one point, he decides that he needs to get out of his room and go get some fresh, cold water, so he drags himself up and totters in the direction of the kitchen. Then there is one of those moments he can't remember, and a moment later he's sinking to the floor next to the sofa, head spinning unpleasantly as he fights his useless lungs for air. His legs feel like they're made of water, so maybe he just ought to... stay there for a while.]

( Like many of the others in the apartment, Mutsu has also found himself feeling under the weather, though, compared to some of the others, he’s not nearly as bad. He’s somewhere between less sick than the holy swords and the guy dealing with tuberculosis on top of Cerealia shenanigans but more sick than a certain peanut sword. Still, he isn’t the type to get beaten down so easily so he’s managed to hold out well on his own! He can still help out! He’s still useful!

For the most part, however, when it comes to said guy dealing with tuberculosis, Mutsu has tried to stay the same, that is, keeping his distance as much as possible. It’s no secret that Mutsu likes this particular Souji more than certain other Shinsengumi members in the colony but still, he isn’t going to go off making friends with any of them so easily. That goes for their swords too, if he’s honest.

But today, he finds himself alone with Souji and he’s tried his best. Right now, he can pretend he’s too exhausted or sick to help but… Souji’s pretty sick right now, isn’t he? I mean, he was sick already and now he seems to have caught whatever is going around too…

He’s a distant spirit when it comes to the Shinsengumi but he isn’t uncaring or heartless. He starts off hovering from his safe distance, poking his head around doorways just to make sure Souji isn’t keeling over onto the floor. And gradually, he begins to step closer… like a wary stray, trying to work up the nerve to get closer…

It takes a while but eventually, after some time, Mutsu finally appears, kneeling by Souji’s side with a single cup of hot tea. Setting it down, he slides it over carefully and quickly pulls back his hand, setting it in his lap and watches Souji with scrunched shoulders and furrowed brow.

He’s not doing this because he cares!!! He’s just worried??? In a general sense! )

… Do ya… need anything…?

( A blanket? Medicine? An adult...? )

[That's a cup of tea. Souji blinks at it slowly, for a minute thinking it's supposed to do something. His mind puts steadying hands around it, lifting it to his lips, holding it there as he sips it. He smiles a bit wistfully.

But cups of tea don't actually come with those hands - though they don't normally happen without explanation either. As he reaches out and takes the cup in his own, significantly less steady hands, he looks up and locates the source. Mutsu. He just said something, didn't he? Souji forces down some tea, but at the moment it's too warm. He's too warm. The chills will probably return in a while, but right now...]

Water...? [He spills a bit of the tea as he carefully sets it down, though at least it doesn't sting too badly on flesh that already is burning from the inside.

Looking around, realizing that he's actually sitting on the floor, he adds:] I think I was aiming for the sofa, maybe. [It's less a demand for help and more a suggestion. It's not as if he hasn't noticed that Mutsu has tried to keep his distance, that there is something clearly bothering him about getting too close, and he's tried to respect it. Well, sort of. But Souji has never been good at leaving well alone, and affection and the best interests often lead him to poke and prod and try to fix things where he's not wanted. A flash of Tatsunosuke's terse face drifts by - he really hadn't been good at backing off when it came to those brothers, had he? But hadn't it all sort of worked out well at the end, right?

(Had it? Had it really? He's not so sure.)]

...I'm being a bit of a bother, aren't I?

( Look, there's nothing wrong with chill on the floor, Souji. Stay where gravity can't bring you down anymore. It's all good! In a house full of sick people, no one will judge. He's quiet when he hears Souji's request and disappears again without a word, returning this time with a glass of water which he'll set down beside the swordsman. Again, he makes sure to pull away again and listen from his place. )

The floor's not that bad. ( But he gets it and he'll move in to help Souji get to his feet again and onto the couch.What a wonderful piece of western furniture. 10/10 would recommend maybe they can get one for the citadel. Also, this is closer than he'd like to be to Souji but if it's to help then that's okay? This is acceptable. Just like when he helped bring him back to the apartment when he came back from home... And just like before, he can shrug off Souji with his usual smart aleck response, )

Kinda the wrong sword to ask, ya think?

( They're rival spirits! They're traditionally bothersome for each other! But he doesn't mean anything harsh by it. )

[Souji drinks about half of that water in one go, almost but not quite choking on it, but looking rather relieved about it. Then he reaches out and places it on the sofa table before allowing himself to be helped awkwardly to his feet, blanket slipping around his shoulders but most of it managing to follow him. Sitting down, he slowly and awkwardly tries to pull it from beneath him and back around his thin frame once again.]

That's true. I'm a bit of a bother to you just being around here, right?

[It might've been a passive-aggressive barb coming from someone else, but nothing about Souji's tone suggests anything than gentle concern and maybe just a hint of warm amusement. Looking up at Mutsu, he reaches up and almost absently grabs onto his clothes, and while most of him roughly seems to have the strength of a kitten right now, his grip is surprisingly steady.]

You know I don't see you as an enemy, though, right? Though I understand that it might feel a bit... different to you. [And maybe he has a bit more self control in these matters when he's healthy still, but obviously fever is great for loosening one's tongue if nothing else.]

That's right.

( Mutsu, in turn, sounds about the same. A part of him is serious but he's always been a playful spirit, trying his luck with some of These Guys. So, yes! He's serious but not in a mean way-- more like he's going along with the joke. And that should be it, right? That's the sort of relationship he has with thse guys. A few offhand remarks, the occasional fight, a good chase, and they go about their ways not being friends.

Souji is fine. He can stay right here until someone else comes home and he'll do his part to make sure this guy doesn't fall out and hit his head on the table or anything like that but he'll stay in his space-- a safe distance away. That is, he would, if Souj didn't so suddenly grab onto his clothes. The reaction he gives, in turn, is a raised eye brow. What are you doing? Let go??? )

Gee. ( He'll keep at it, trying to keep this light and as casual as possible. No point in making things worse, right? ) Ya aren't as bad as I thought ya'd be.

... Or as bad as the other yous. ( That's... a compliment??? ) Ya're a lot weirder or something?

( Compliments???????? )

But just 'cause we aren't enemies doesn't mean we're on the same page.

( Can he go now???? )

[No, Souji is not letting go yet. In a world that seems fluid and kind of unpleasantly unreal, Mutsu is something to hold on to, a real voice speaking to him and keeping his thoughts from drifting away from him like seeds in a high wind.

It's weird, how Mutsu can fade in and out of the memories he has of his old master, how sometimes there is something in his voice and mannerisms that is so alike, and yet he is every bit the individual that Ryouma would've wanted him to be. It strikes him that to someone like that guy, it would be a personal failure if his sword had turned out like Yamato, clinging to his image and the past era he was part of.]

Not enemies... [He repeats the word slowly, as if his thoughts take time assembling and enclosing in words.] He never really tried to attack me... tried to recruit me, actually, but I think maybe he knew that it wasn't actually possible. He just needed to give me a chance, because that kind of thing was important to him.

[He's still aware that Mutsu is there, yes, but everything around them is more nebulous. They could be sitting on the banks of the river, in the sunshine - the sun is very hot, he really wishes they could find some shade.]

He'd shoot others sometimes, though, if he felt he needed to. Never more than necessary. I liked that about him.

( His master never tried to recruit Okita but... he can't say that he's surprised to hear that in some universe out there, his master tried. Everyone deserved a chance. The world he wanted to make was a world for all of Japan and so everyone deserved a chance to share a hand in it.

One thing he's admired about Souji is the respect he gives Ryouma. And certainly, Mutsu wouldn't mind talking about his former master with him but this feels different. This isn't a quickly and casual conversation. He can't control this and laugh things off in good spirit while maintaining his usual sort of distance. No, this feels... personal. It feels too much like their first conversation which left him with that hard feeling in his throat and his eyes watering. He's always loved to talk about Ryouma to anyone who would listen but it's different when someone else is doing the talking. It makes him so very nostalgic...

With one hand, he reaches to remove Souji's hand from his clothes, trying to gently make his escape, )

That's the kind of guy he was. ( Just... that kind of guy. ) Never drew a weapon unless he had to...

Never cut anyone...

( Was that last part about Ryouma or himself? Maybe both. )

Listen, ya should rest.

[He does let go when Mutsu actually grabs his hand, taking his own back and then just sort of sitting there with it half raised in a strangely childish posture. It's pretty clear from the way he's blinking slowly up at Mutsu that he really isn't all there at this point, his mind run ragged both by the fever and the erratic sleep he's been getting. At first, Mutsu's face really does seem to phase in and out of the familiar image of Sakamoto, but then Souji can see that clearly the man is standing behind his back. And of course he's somehow lucid enough to be aware that he's not really there, but not nearly lucid enough to see what difference it makes.

He meets the gaze of the hallucination briefly, and the Ryouma sighs and shakes his head.]

Nnnoooo... I never ever saw him draw you, you know? Well, I guess you do - your master wasn't any different, right?

[He shakes his head, and the movement causes him to sway slightly.]

Even though I pulled my sword at him so many times, attacked him, tried to kill him... he'd block with his gun if he had to, or once with a rock in his hand, things like that.

I always thought- I thought... I was taught that you should never draw your sword unless you're prepared to kill. And I thought maybe he was just never prepared for killing to be the only way to solve things. That's pretty amazing.

[The Ryouma that isn't there is right behind Mutsu now, watching him with this strange mixture of pride and... not quite regret, but something close to it, and Souji doesn't even think before he asks:]

Were you ever ready to... I mean, at the end, did you draw your sword - huh, Ryouma-san? [If he was in possession of all his wits, he'd never ask a question like this - he isn't that cruel. But there it is. His eyes are obviously staring past Mutsu, glazed over and strangely bright all at once, with compassion and with wistfulness in equal measure.]

( It doesn't go unnoticed and Mutsu leans back. He... doesn't want to be here right now. He's got this bad feeling in his gut that if he stays here any longer, something is going to happen. Lips tight, breath held, eyebrows knit closely together, he's following this conversation but he doesn't like where it's going. It's too close, too personal, and something he doesn't want to talk about and is fine with keeping silent. After all, he kept quiet all of those years, right? Unable to talk to anyone at all... and now that he has this body, the means to communicate? He didn't need to talk about it anymore. He doesn't want to.

Souji sways and he doesn't move. He can't. He doesn't want to get any closer. More than anything he just wants to get away. Far, far, far away from the Shinsengumi. In his mind, he's just thinking, "this is why." This is exactly why he doesn't want to get close to these guys. Because it's wrong. It's not right.

And then he crosses a line. Souji crosses that line and there's a piercing pain in his side. Crossing that line is an offense so when Mutsu reacts, its self-defense. He lashes out, both hands on Souji's shoulders and pushing him back hard. )

It's none of your business. ( Whether or not he was drawn. Whether or not Ryouma did anything. It's none of his business. ) It's got nothin` to do with any of you guys so keep it that way!

( The pain in his side doesn't compare to this all encompassing pain in his chest right now. Yes, he's angry, but more than anything, he's so sad it hurts. )

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For Mutsu and feverish funtimes...

no

no choice

there's always a choice!!!!!

mutsu be like https://thelordofthenerds.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/glasscase.gif

UGH SET HIM FREE LEAVE HIM ALONE

/STAPLES 4872984732 SHINSENGUMI TO HIM

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hooooly shit, I thought I had replied her? ugh

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