(no subject)

[espersions]

Who: espersions, belfire, moribound, popsometags, their cr, their cr's cr...
When: Early April
Where: Source Below: Cerealia's most surreal karaoke bar
What: How do you come to terms with death and disappearance? Get hammered and sing about it, obviously.
Rating/Warning: alcohol, hot tubs, death mentions, and j-pop


Ket Whiss is gone for good, and Minato has returned from his PLAYER ONE GAME OVER moment, courtesy of a hungry monster. And there's the residual trauma of everyone's jungle/elemental adventures.

So, well. Why not have a party?

Source Below is Cerealia's most popular — and most surreal — karaoke bar. It features a costume closet, with hundreds of outfits to try on, for that full idol experience. There are themed rooms: one with overflowing candy, another built to resemble the interior of a spaceship, one full of robotic cats who yowl in time with the music, to a pitch-black room filled with pairs of enormous, glowing, slowly-blinking eyes....

But Team Catastrophe's party isn't in any of these, because none of these losers made a reservation. Instead, they got stuck with the only one left, covered in white tile, with a hot tub in the center.

This is a bad idea on so many levels, but it's not as if that's ever stopped anybody.

(ooc: open to any extended cr, feel free to handwave how you heard about it. the more the merrier!)

---

Comments

[senseandcecilbility]

[You know, when your are the kind of employee who bets on equines named Featherfoot Lollipop, and burns your young master's sofa while smiting demonic messiahs you've got to work extra hard to make it do. Fortunately, Source Bellow needed a few more waiters on this particularly busy evening, and Kevin thought, why not? Being a waiter is just like being a butler's sprout, if butlers had sprouts, and it is not like he is a complete stranger to choir boys singing like harpies drowning in lava.

So here he is, black suit and white gloves, balancing an absurd but somewhat tempting amount of alcohol on a silver tray, just as ordered by the suckers who got that room nobody ever wants. He preparers his most professional and disinterested smile before opening the door and...

Well, perhaps it is time to reconsider his career choices.]

What sort of debauchery is that?

[That was intended as a rhetorical question, but it really isn't. He is, in fact, very confused.]

Current Condition: he could pee vodka

[belfire]

Kevvy!!

[This is what debauchery it is: a naked Kazuya waving frantically from his position in the hot tub, face ruddy from alcohol, with a veritable fortress of empty bottles built before him. You could only see from the shoulders up - probably for the best, really. No one wanted to see his scrawny, partially scarred body]

You came! I didn' know you were invited! [Because he wasn't] Hey, hey, c'mere and have a- oh, you brought drinks. That's initi- inishi... smart! We're runnin' out of 'em! Pull up a... um, hot tub rim or, even a hot tub! Jump in, Kevvy!

[senseandcecilbility]

[Kevvy. Only a very selected few idiots get to call him that. Kevin can't believe his ears. Or his eyes. Especially his eyes. In a single moment of clarity, he offers a small prayer to heaven, thanking God Almighty for the fact that Master Kazuya and his precious young master have never met. ]

Master Kazuya, sir. You are drunk...and you are...

[Naked. And in danger. All that glass is not okay.]

That is unbecoming for a messiah, sir!

[He kneels on the wet floor and - still balancing the tray like a true pro - starts collecting the gathering bottles. R.I.P Kazuya's fortress.]

[belfire]

Uuuugh...

[Kazuya groaned when instead of "pulling up a hot tub", Kevin was being responsible and Kevin instead! His precious glass fortress, demolished! The drinks balanced on the tray - completely out of his reach! Or, rather, was in reach, but when Kazuya tried to lean up and snag one, his hand missed by miles. Honestly, it was like watching a cat high on catnip trying to swat a mouse toy - pathetic yet hilarious]

You're bein'a squaaaaare. Stop bein' a square, Kevvy, be... be... [He blinked slowly, having to pause all physical motion to dedicate everything towards an appropriately party themed shape] Be an oval.

[senseandcecilbility]

No, no, sir. You have completely lost your mind. I am not a square, or an oval or er....a triangular. I am quite human-shaped! Or more precisely, angel-shaped, since we came first. [That is a very important point, okay. Meanwhile, now that the fortress is gone, Kevin has a better view of things he would rather not be aware of.] SIR, DO PLEASE RECOVER YOUR UNDERWEAR!

[He delicately pushes that grabby hand away. No, no, no more cheap wine for the Chosen One.]

[belfire]

[There was a brief moment where Kazuya looked horribly bewildered at Kevin's scandalised shout, and looked down to see- oh]

Hey, you can't tell me to put pants back on. [He looked back up, pointing at Kevin unsuccessfully. His finger was aimed just over his shoulder, and he looked almost cross-eyed. There were four Kevins. Four. How dare he gang up on him with his identical twin brothers] I know 'bout aaaaall you guys. Y'all exhibitionists!!

[He pounded his fists on the- oh, wait, no table. Instead he just splashed his palms against the water] Remiel never wears pants! He doesn't wear clothes at all! Aniel an' what's his face! The other angel dude! He don't wear clothes either! None of them do! So I bet you don't either! Your clothes are an illusion!! Don't deny it!

[senseandcecilbility]

[That was unexpected! It is not everyday that a mortal calls him on heaven's well kept dirty secret:

Naked angels.]

Those are...special cases. Very special. And I would not er...call my clothes an illusion. N-not exactly. [Perhaps it is easier to appeal to Kaz's common sense!] Do I look like an exhibitionist to you, sir?

[Blushing and hoping to avoid this conversation entirely, Kevin turns around to look for the young man's pants, which puts the booze tray right within his reach. ]

[belfire]

Yes. You're a secret exhibitionist. I can teeeeeell~

[Alas, Kazuya's common sense was not currently in service right now. But thankfully, the subject was quickly dropped when his eyes caught on the brightly coloured, alcoholic drinks placed right within easy reach. All thoughts of naked angels went out of the window, and with a pleased noise, he went to pick one up.

...

Well okay, he accidentally knocked one over, and spilt half of another one all of his hand, but he managed to claim a prize of one amber coloured drink, with another tiny shot cup floating in the middle. He knocked it back without hesitating]

Ergh.

[Jagerbomb. Gross tasting, but with a kick]

1/2

[espersions]

[ He might be drunk, but he's not completely out of his mind, which means that he's not going to risk electrocution while singing Cher's "If I Could Turn Back Time," so he's currently out of the tub and standing on a folded towel to keep his feet dry.

However this is the towel that, by rights, ought to be around his waist, but that's okay because it's really warm and steamy in here. He's not the least bit cold.

— until, that is, the door opens behind him, letting in a blast of chilly air. He casts an irritable glance over his shoulder... which is when he realizes what it is he isn't wearing. A beat later, he recognizes their waiter: Penguin-san.

... ]

2/2

[espersions]

[ ...


Heh.

He turns around. Enjoy the view: bullet-scarred chest and well... everything. ]

What sort of debauchery were you looking for?

[ How loud do not-angels squawk? Inquiring minds want to know. ]

[senseandcecilbility]

[The answer is: very, very loud.]

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? WHAT IF THERE ARE CHOIR BOYS HERE?

THIS...THIS IS WORSE THAN POMPEY!

[Look, he has exploded a couple of volcanoes for less. Right now, there are only two things stopping him: having to explain any further damage charges to young master...and those bullet marks that shouldn't be.

He tries to recover from the initial shock, though he mostly succeeds at inhaling and then coughing out a bunch of soap-tasting bath steam.]

I will let you know that I seek no debauchery. I only bring your order, sir.

[All this alcohol the kids probably ordered behind your back. That's all yours, sir.]

[espersions]

[ He watches the movement of Kevin's eyes, and the way they (finally) linger on his chest. That's all right; it's not as though he actually tries to hide his scars.

In any case, Kevin's own explosion is satisfyingly Vesuvian. ]

This is all good, clean fun. Emphasis on "clean." You're the dirty-minded one here.

[ ...

wait. ]

Pompey?

[ He's used to weird stuff coming out of Kevin's mouth, but that seemed like a particularly unusual non-sequiteur. ]

[senseandcecilbility]

[Hiding one's face while balancing that amount of booze is not for amateurs, but Kevin succeeds just fine.]

My mind would never conceive of such a lewd orgy, sir! And as for Pompey, the story is well-known. Paganism and sin invited God's wrath. Not to mention a partiality for naked festivities in hot bathtubs! Have you ever punished sinners inside bathtubs, sir? It is terribly messy...or so I have heard!

[Which is why he was reminded of Pompey to begin with. He wishes they had thought of the volcano earlier.

He blindly points at the naked Kaz in the corner.]

That poor boy is inviting divine wrath as we speak! Are you not the adult in charge? Shouldn't you set yourself as an example to the youth?

[espersions]

[ Wow. ]

Heh heh. You've got quite the active imagination regarding "naked festivities." You want to join in, admit it.

[ Taking advantage of the fact that Penguin-san's hands are busy holding the heavily-laden tray of drinks, he moves closer and begins to pluck at Kevin's tie, attempting to loosen it. ]

I'll help you out, because I'm just that nice.

[senseandcecilbility]

[The tray starts trembling slightly as Penguin-san averts his eyes and blushes. It is very hot in here, okay.]

You are avoiding the subject, aren't you?

[And his tie is perfectly fine, Jesus! He instinctively steps back, which means the stupid thing has just come loose.

That was not what he had in mind.]

Honestly, I only serve drinks and clean rooms. Naked festivities are most certainly not appropriate.

[popsometags]

[ Oh no. Oh no no no, somebody's ordered a butler. This is completely out of the question, and since there are many drunk people here, somebody's got to take the reins and make sure everything is in tiptop shape! So, Rinne immediately points, swiveling around!

...a little too fast, so that somehow, his towel gets unhooked, and falls right to the floor. ]

There's no debauchery here! Don't worry about us!

[ Please, don't throw them out yet. ]

[senseandcecilbility]

[ As a waiter, Kevin knows quite well that it is not his job to moralize customers. As the angel of repentance, he cannot help but say I told you so in the most diverse forms he can think of and some more.]

Forgive me for saying so, sir, but lying is a sin! What would your poor grandparents think if they could see you now!

[Professional tip: always bring up grandparents to sinners who are stark naked in front of you.

Alas, Kevin has no authority to kick them out, but he feels entitled enough to scold the heck out of them. May God have mercy on their souls.]

[popsometags]

My grandmother would probably laugh and ask where I got the money to be here, and my grandfather would swim up stream.

[ Well, you know. Reincarnation. Grandpa's kind of a fish now, but that's beside the point. ]

Either way, I'm not lying. There may be alcohol here, but we haven't ruined anything just yet.

[ Besides you know, all common decency laws. ]

[senseandcecilbility]

....What sort of grandparents would condone such behavior?

[Or maybe that explains everything.]

The material state of this establishment is beside the point. I-I shall scrub the bathtub later. However, have you no care for your mortal soul?

[You know how angels are. They care a little bit too much about common decency laws.]

[popsometags]

It's complicated. Please don't have me recount my depressing backstory.

[ Which isn't depressing or a backstory at all, but maybe it'll get him to not #AskQuestions... maybe. ]

My soul is as clean as the room will be when we're done. I've managed to keep myself from doing anything I'll regret.

[senseandcecilbility]

[He shouldn't nitpick at other people's backstories when his starts with In the beginning of God's preparing the heavens and the earth...]

Even if that is true...[But he has serious doubts.]...I am quite certain Master Kaz is not old enough.

[What with all the drinking and electricity!]

[adminproof]

[And showing up right next to Kevin without a sound but with a similar tray of drinks in hand, is Saiduq. ...Well, the drinks and tray are slightly floating above his hand too. So much for not using his "suspicious powers" in public, or a venue as (thankfully) private as this one is.

He doesn't even work here. Why is he here? it is a mystery.mp3]

...What debauchery?

[His standards may be...slightly...skewed...]

[senseandcecilbility]

[Who are you, you don't even work here. Kevin is so confused. And what the heck is this person exactly?]

I cannot possibly describe it!

[That, sir, would make him blush even harder than he already is.]

[adminproof]

["Who are you and what are you doing here" is a good way to sum up his entire existence.]

Ah...I will not force the issue then, for you seem to be suffering mental harm as of this moment.

[Alcor never really understood the apprehension around these sorts of things...but he's not the best at understanding propriety either.]

[senseandcecilbility]

[Right now Kevin is more concerned with what than who. His life is mostly composed of angels, demons and humans. It is quite unsettling when he cannot identify what someone is.]

Thank you, sir....Needless to say, that should not be allowed. I wonder if I should tell management.

[Truth be told, he fears management will merely laugh on his face and tell him naked people and karaoke are perfectly normal. ]