The thing about Cerealia is, there really isn't any nature to be found here. Sure, you can go outside the walls of the city and explore the land beyond but who wants to risk a terrible, horrible death just to sniff the flowers? Not you, that's who! CERES understands that, CERES sympathizes, and sometimes CERES decides to take action when such problems arise. As part of the company's current "Healthier and Happier YOU" initiative, they've decided to let everyone get back in touch with nature a little.
Via ViViD.
Of course, this being CERES, the nature they've sent everyone to is more of a swamp. The place is disgusting, a real marvel of ViViD ingenuity and it smells like the dead. There's strange rustling among the leaves from creatures that may or may not want to eat you, and random pits that open up right under your feet with the goal of sending you straight into the marsh. It's not really that fun. There's no welcome sign either, no nothing except for swamplands as far as the eye can see.
Welcome to ViViD!  This is Mosley. One of our programmers forgot to include a welcome greeting for the level this time. How incompetent can you get? He's been fired now, it's fine. Instead, I will greet you today. Lucky you! You've been invited today to participate in CERES's "Healthier and Happier YOU" level where we've combined both physical exercise and relaxing meditation into the ultimate ViViD experience. Isn't that fun? You can... go camping and stuff. Or whatever. I don't... know...
Honestly, I don't even care. Have fun.
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PHASE I [ 6 00 ] Welcome to your new healthy living training ground! What does a swamp have to do with healthy living, you may ask? Absolutely nothing! To make up for it, CERES has outfitted all players with the proper equipment for their new healthy living lifestyle. They also may or may not have let you keep your shoes based on how benevolent the ViViD gods were being at the time. (Not very.)
Oh, and all newcomers will have something additional on their fancy new yoga shirt. It will be displayed loudly and proudly all over the front and back of it. And if you're one of the few not wearing a shirt, it will be on the back of your pants. As in, your butt. It will be on your butt.
What’s ViViD trying to say, anyway?
Regardless, it probably doesn’t matter as much as finding your way through the swamp. Some sort of dry land would be really nice right now, wouldn't it? You'll have to watch out for the mud that will suck you right down under the marsh, and the creatures with lots of teeth that will never surface from the mud but won't hesitate to snap up an unwary foot or two.
CERES is sure you'll be fine. Totally and completely fine.
PHASE II [ 800 ] Eventually, if you try really, really hard, you’ll make it to a house. Actually, it’s more of a shack, really. If you clamber your way out of the mud and the gunk and the marsh into said shack, you will find it to be empty aside from a table. A table hosting a huge pile of... well, health drinks. See, there's totally a health theme in this level. CERES would never make a ViViD level that wasn't thematically appropriate. Never! Health drinks of all sorts and types and sizes can be found here and there’s even a sign too; it simply says:
Take one.
Well, that seems safe.
Unfortunately, you won’t be able to leave said shack until you do take one. And drink it. The door will lock shut and cover itself in more swamp until you do. Yay. Depending on your luck, the drink may do the following to you: ➟ Cause your ViViD experience to glitch. This may involve phasing through walls, seeing everything in 8-bit, or hearing really annoying old video game music everywhere you go.
➟ Cause status effects. This can include suddenly moving incredibly slowly, being turned to stone for a period of time, suddenly being on fire, suddenly being poisoned, etc etc.
➟ Be healthier. Mmm, kale and hummus smoothie. Taste those veggies. If you try to take more than one, that’s fine too, nobody will stop you, but you probably won’t get lucky more than once.
PHASE III [ 900 ] And back you go, out into the swampy wilderness. Don’t give up! Keep going! Eventually, you’ll find the end of this level. Probably.
Eventually, though, you may stumble across something in the mud and the muck. It’s... a little doll?
In fact, it’s a little doll of one of your most important people (or, alternatively, of someone you absolutely hate). It might be someone in Cerealia currently, or someone who isn’t, but either way, the doll is there and it’s clearly them (covered in mud and all). Be careful, though. If you toss it aside, you’ll suddenly see that important person being tossed aside. If you cut the doll, you'll suddenly see that person bleeding. Even if they aren’t present in Cerealia, whatever happens to that doll, you'll see it happening to them. Is it a hallucination or are they actually there? That's a little more up in the air.
And if they are present in Cerealia, well... doing things to that doll might very well hurt them too -- for real, this time, though.
Be careful! Or don't. You do you, as CERES would say.
PHASE IV [ 1200 ] And then, eventually you reach a quiet, swampy area. Not that the rest of the swamp isn't swampy, this area is just extra swampy.
There’s very little happening here in this swampy place; even the birds are no longer squawking. And for a long moment, everything will remain quiet and peaceful, a place of reprieve... until the swamp begins to bubble. Then suddenly, a new friend will burst out of the swamp, showering mud and gunk everywhere.
Without warning, that creature is going to try to grab for the nearest person (it might be you!) and let out a mighty roar when they have them. Then, they'll hold them up to... read the nutrition facts on their shirt? What?
Of course, it will try to gobble you or whoever else it grabs if it finds, say, the salt content to be acceptable (the monster is watching their carbs). If it's not, then they'll just fling you away and move onto the next snack. For those without a handy nutrition facts label on your shirt, well, it might just take a gamble and try to eat you anyway.
Great. A health-conscious monster. That's just what this level needed.
BONUS [ xxxx ] Finally, you’re free of the game. Without warning, you’re dumped into Cerealia properly and you’re able to scrub the mud and gunk from your clothing (wait why did that come back with you and where are your normal clothes?). You're able to then make your way to your new place of residence (or old) and...
There is a tiny tree there waiting for you. Isn’t it cute? And if you take care of this tiny tree, it will eventually bear fruit! Tiny fruit. Itty bitty fruit.
Depending on which tiny tree you get, it will be one of the following: a tiny dildo tree, a tiny bacon tree, a tiny kazoo tree, a tiny carolina reaper tree, or a (dumb) tiny hats tree.
Everything will, naturally, be tiny. Enjoy your new healthy CERES gift!
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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you are so RUDE???
He looks down at the shirt, then back up to her. The expression he gives her is clearly not pleased with her outburst. ]
Do I really look as though I could be quite this fat? Really, the one who should have these statistics is Arthur.
[ 2true. ]
NO ITS YOU!!!
Well, you look quite lean...is this Arthur really that big?!
[HE MUST BE ENORMOUS at least that's what she's imagining now. Thanks Merlin.]
NO YOU?????????
Well he could do to lose a few pounds. [ It's said so solemnly that... it sounds so true. ]
NO U!!!! (blush)
She's even dealt with fake crap before too, ah.]
O-oh...I wish this friend of yours luck, otherwise he'll be in serious trouble. Like if he was here, right now...
[Why do all your people always fool her, Liah.]
don't blush after u weirdo
I don't really think he wants to admit it. [ This is almost funny... at least while she doesn't know he's talking about his Prince this way. ]
Maybe if he was here he would have to because he'd be sinking by now, right?
[ Said with a completely innocent smile. :)
and it's because she's dumb don't blame me?! ]
TOO LATE
The first step would be to admitting it, if he wants to be in better health. [She doesn't even know he's talking about a prince. Or that he's actually the legendary Merlin and the person he just called fat was King Arthur. England never told her that his legendary heroes are losers?!]
Goodness, he would be! [Inspecting everywhere--] Would you actually rescue him, I mean all should be fine, but you might end up with a fast game over as well.
[Ah.
AND...look it's not her fault either everyone is not honest!]
KICKS
See, I thought I'd try that and only bring him an apple for breakfast but he only demanded meat and cheese. [ this sounds so wrong i'm so sorry...
and England probably hoped for more, sorry England. ]
I kind of have to, though uh... I wouldn't go down that easily you see.
[ Maybe if he just gives her a cheeky grin she won't question it, it seems to be working so far.
They can't help it tbh ]
I'M FRAGILE
It's a good thing she took that seriously right now?!] Too much meat and cheese? [Adds fuel to the fire...
yeah, sorry England. One day these countries will have cool heroes. Today is not that day.]
Really? Do you work for him too? Well... [Actually she doesn't say it. She was thinking that he's so thin he might just float.
Wow...so this is her life.]
then stop x-(!!
Maybe one day he'll prove he's actually not awful but today truly is not that day. ]
...You could say that. [ Though he's trying to avoid saying the P word right now. So instead he says-- ] He's a... a knight, you see.
[ Sure is. ]
no :>
He totally needs to fix this, this is all his fault!!]
A knight...ah, so you are from an era much earlier. And you are...[Wait what's that word. She doesn't remember, this whole knight and page business is not something she really dealt with.] Knight's assistant?
[WAILS.]
slaps
[ Why would he fix it?! He can finally have some freedom excuse you... ]
Earlier than what? This place? [ Well, assistant was a nicer word than servant, so: ] We can go with that.
wow my butt is never safe
[OH...good point actually]
Yes! Or I am not sure when this time is, but this era has different technology. [See, she's good at this.] Ah, I think I understand now.
you wanted this P:
So I don't think you really do but... [ He rubs the back of his head. ] We can maybe worry about the later?
GASP!!!! but what if i wanted it to be gentle!
That is a good idea... [Since swamp?] Let's find a way to beat this place.
you wouldn't be so rude to me if that were true?!
[ The swamp is causing some problems, it's true. ] Wait-- You have to beat the place?
[ Excuse him for almost yelling that out because what kind of logic is that? ]
CRIES....okay maybe
[Yes indeed. Also maybe birds flew out because he was so loud?!] It is kind of a video game, at times.
you know it to be true
Ah goodbye birds. ] A what--?
[ WHY IS THERE SO MUCH TERMINOLOGY. ]
SOBS...
BYE BIRDS.]
Ah yes, video games are not really of your time. It is a form of entertainment that uses a virtual world.
c8
So none of this is real? [ He takes a quick look around, but-- ] It looks real.
[ Are you messing with him, Vietnam??????? ]
:<
None of this is real, but yes it does look like it. It's because it's programmed to be so in such a way. Once you leave this place, you will realise that it is all just make believe. This is not the only place it can create. But yes, technology has advanced that far in this time.
[SHHHH SHE WISHES.]
no subject
That's... incredible! Is it only for things like this or other things as well? I know if Gaius were here... [ He shakes his head. ] For an old man he's pretty into learning new things made from science.
[ For an old man.................... ]