The thing about Cerealia is, there really isn't any nature to be found here. Sure, you can go outside the walls of the city and explore the land beyond but who wants to risk a terrible, horrible death just to sniff the flowers? Not you, that's who! CERES understands that, CERES sympathizes, and sometimes CERES decides to take action when such problems arise. As part of the company's current "Healthier and Happier YOU" initiative, they've decided to let everyone get back in touch with nature a little.
Via ViViD.
Of course, this being CERES, the nature they've sent everyone to is more of a swamp. The place is disgusting, a real marvel of ViViD ingenuity and it smells like the dead. There's strange rustling among the leaves from creatures that may or may not want to eat you, and random pits that open up right under your feet with the goal of sending you straight into the marsh. It's not really that fun. There's no welcome sign either, no nothing except for swamplands as far as the eye can see.
Welcome to ViViD!  This is Mosley. One of our programmers forgot to include a welcome greeting for the level this time. How incompetent can you get? He's been fired now, it's fine. Instead, I will greet you today. Lucky you! You've been invited today to participate in CERES's "Healthier and Happier YOU" level where we've combined both physical exercise and relaxing meditation into the ultimate ViViD experience. Isn't that fun? You can... go camping and stuff. Or whatever. I don't... know...
Honestly, I don't even care. Have fun.
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PHASE I [ 6 00 ] Welcome to your new healthy living training ground! What does a swamp have to do with healthy living, you may ask? Absolutely nothing! To make up for it, CERES has outfitted all players with the proper equipment for their new healthy living lifestyle. They also may or may not have let you keep your shoes based on how benevolent the ViViD gods were being at the time. (Not very.)
Oh, and all newcomers will have something additional on their fancy new yoga shirt. It will be displayed loudly and proudly all over the front and back of it. And if you're one of the few not wearing a shirt, it will be on the back of your pants. As in, your butt. It will be on your butt.
What’s ViViD trying to say, anyway?
Regardless, it probably doesn’t matter as much as finding your way through the swamp. Some sort of dry land would be really nice right now, wouldn't it? You'll have to watch out for the mud that will suck you right down under the marsh, and the creatures with lots of teeth that will never surface from the mud but won't hesitate to snap up an unwary foot or two.
CERES is sure you'll be fine. Totally and completely fine.
PHASE II [ 800 ] Eventually, if you try really, really hard, you’ll make it to a house. Actually, it’s more of a shack, really. If you clamber your way out of the mud and the gunk and the marsh into said shack, you will find it to be empty aside from a table. A table hosting a huge pile of... well, health drinks. See, there's totally a health theme in this level. CERES would never make a ViViD level that wasn't thematically appropriate. Never! Health drinks of all sorts and types and sizes can be found here and there’s even a sign too; it simply says:
Take one.
Well, that seems safe.
Unfortunately, you won’t be able to leave said shack until you do take one. And drink it. The door will lock shut and cover itself in more swamp until you do. Yay. Depending on your luck, the drink may do the following to you: ➟ Cause your ViViD experience to glitch. This may involve phasing through walls, seeing everything in 8-bit, or hearing really annoying old video game music everywhere you go.
➟ Cause status effects. This can include suddenly moving incredibly slowly, being turned to stone for a period of time, suddenly being on fire, suddenly being poisoned, etc etc.
➟ Be healthier. Mmm, kale and hummus smoothie. Taste those veggies. If you try to take more than one, that’s fine too, nobody will stop you, but you probably won’t get lucky more than once.
PHASE III [ 900 ] And back you go, out into the swampy wilderness. Don’t give up! Keep going! Eventually, you’ll find the end of this level. Probably.
Eventually, though, you may stumble across something in the mud and the muck. It’s... a little doll?
In fact, it’s a little doll of one of your most important people (or, alternatively, of someone you absolutely hate). It might be someone in Cerealia currently, or someone who isn’t, but either way, the doll is there and it’s clearly them (covered in mud and all). Be careful, though. If you toss it aside, you’ll suddenly see that important person being tossed aside. If you cut the doll, you'll suddenly see that person bleeding. Even if they aren’t present in Cerealia, whatever happens to that doll, you'll see it happening to them. Is it a hallucination or are they actually there? That's a little more up in the air.
And if they are present in Cerealia, well... doing things to that doll might very well hurt them too -- for real, this time, though.
Be careful! Or don't. You do you, as CERES would say.
PHASE IV [ 1200 ] And then, eventually you reach a quiet, swampy area. Not that the rest of the swamp isn't swampy, this area is just extra swampy.
There’s very little happening here in this swampy place; even the birds are no longer squawking. And for a long moment, everything will remain quiet and peaceful, a place of reprieve... until the swamp begins to bubble. Then suddenly, a new friend will burst out of the swamp, showering mud and gunk everywhere.
Without warning, that creature is going to try to grab for the nearest person (it might be you!) and let out a mighty roar when they have them. Then, they'll hold them up to... read the nutrition facts on their shirt? What?
Of course, it will try to gobble you or whoever else it grabs if it finds, say, the salt content to be acceptable (the monster is watching their carbs). If it's not, then they'll just fling you away and move onto the next snack. For those without a handy nutrition facts label on your shirt, well, it might just take a gamble and try to eat you anyway.
Great. A health-conscious monster. That's just what this level needed.
BONUS [ xxxx ] Finally, you’re free of the game. Without warning, you’re dumped into Cerealia properly and you’re able to scrub the mud and gunk from your clothing (wait why did that come back with you and where are your normal clothes?). You're able to then make your way to your new place of residence (or old) and...
There is a tiny tree there waiting for you. Isn’t it cute? And if you take care of this tiny tree, it will eventually bear fruit! Tiny fruit. Itty bitty fruit.
Depending on which tiny tree you get, it will be one of the following: a tiny dildo tree, a tiny bacon tree, a tiny kazoo tree, a tiny carolina reaper tree, or a (dumb) tiny hats tree.
Everything will, naturally, be tiny. Enjoy your new healthy CERES gift!
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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no subject
And now he's being complimented for his Mary-Sue level anime eyes, which is alarming?! While his hand is still being held?! This is so much physical contact that he's never been privy to until now, so forgive him if he looks a little nervous. ]
My eyes? Ah, but so are yours, Kashuu-kun... [ is that a weird thing to say... probably. He's internally screaming right now. ] But, I can see things that are relatively close to me. The scenery is a bit of a blur, but... it shouldn't be that much of an issue. Aha, I won't have to worry about running into trees now, at least.
no subject
ANYWAY, here goes Kashuu, continuing to trample all over the personal boundary lines that other people set up. At least he's not touching Atsushi's face-- again. Right, he kind of already did that too, didn't he?]
Thanks! [Even if it's a weird thing to say, Kashuu seems pleased to hear it?! Compliments: the quickest way to get into his good graces. Just look at his dumb expression light up!]
Ah, but that's good, that's good. I'll guide you for a little longer just in case something pops outta the mud again, but you can let me know whenever your vision's all the way back to normal, okay?
no subject
I'll definitely let you know when I can walk on my own. Thanks again, Kashuu-kun.
[ Even this ugly trek through the mud is nicer with someone around...! A silver lining to this shitty cloud. ]
Ah, and... you don't have to answer if you don't want, but. How old are you, Kashuu-kun...? I'm 18, so maybe around my age...?
[ lmfao keep dreaming atsushi ]
no subject
But ah... poor... POOR ATSUSHI. Kashuu doesn't even think to lie to soften the blow?! Mostly because he can't tell this poor punk is actually excited to know someone around his "age".]
I'm about 530, give or take some years! [And he says it so simply too, like that's just totally normal?!] But I've been told I look around that age, so I guess that kinda counts, right?
[No, no it doesn't.]
1/2
Ah, 530? That's definitely—
no subject
[ Finally, this hits him like a ton of bricks... rest in pieces, Atsushi. ]
A-are you alright, Kashuu-kun?! Are you sure you aren't off by a digit?! Ah, but that would still make you 53... Are you sure you didn't have anything to drink in that cottage?!
no subject
Mm... I mean, I might be a little off? But I was forged back in the 1600s and it was 2205 before I got pulled into this place, so it's a close enough estimate. ["Forged". It only gets worse from here, too.] —I didn't drink anything, either!
no subject
[ Now he's Concerned... what has this place done to you, Kashuu...
Here's Atsushi, stopping in his tracks and carefully maneuvering himself in front of Kashuu... and putting a hand on his forehead. ]
Could it be that you're not feeling well...? [ atsushi?! ]
no subject
I'm feeling fine! [...] Hey, you know that people from all kinds of different worlds are here, right? I mean - you got that whole powerpoint presentation, didn't you? Some of it's just a bunch of lies, but that part is true.
[He comes from a world where swords are people, so that's a thing?!]
no subject
[ It's still a point of contention, and it hurts because it's more of the same: 'there's no place for you, you bring calamity simply by existing'. But everyone else seems to be convinced that that isn't the case, and even Kashuu said so, didn't he? That they'd go home, eventually.
So he keeps his expression from falling too much, and tries a half-smile as he peels his palm from Kashuu's head. ]
But, I guess that makes you something like an immortal...?
—Have I been talking to someone really important, this whole time...?!
no subject
THAT SAID, the half-smile is met with a teasing smile in turn, because he can't let this opportunity pass by... That sort of reaction brings out the same streak that surfaces when he makes fun of Hijikata for flushing his own hair down the toilet, but Atsushi is infinitely more endearing.]
Are you surprised? I guess it's not every day you talk to something that lives for so long, right? So! What do you think I am? I'm suuuper curious.
[Mostly because HE KNOWS ATSUSHI WON'T GET IT RIGHT.]
no subject
...Sometimes!!!
So he's going to think Very Deeply about this, and look Kashuu up and down as best as he can. Thankfully, he has enough of his vision back that he can do that. ]
Well, you said 'forged', so... You're maybe...a saint? A guardian deity...?
[ He feels ridiculous for even suggesting this, but. You know. ]
...Are you some sort of God?! [ SHIT... SHOULD HE BE MORE REVERENT ]
no subject
That said, he looks pretty delighted by that guess?! LORD, he's definitely having too much fun.]
Wow! A God, huh? Is that really the sort of thing you think of when you look at me?
[Probably not considering he looks like a scrawny person in their late teens or early twenties, but a sword can dream... His ego is hungry and needs to be fed, anyway, so he's sure not gonna turn down this potential opportunity.]
no subject
[ Because all Gods are drawn like old men who've spent far too long in the mountains talking to foxes or something. Apparently that's the 'wise' look, but who knows...! Kashuu might be a hip, modern God...! ]
You're 530 years old, after a— [ yo hold up ] —I've been calling you '-kun' this whole time, but... was that blasphemy? Should I be calling you 'Kashuu-sama'...?!
[ Cue awkward scrambling. Please don't smite him, Kashuusama... ]
no subject
...
But fortunately for Atsushi, Kashuu's a moron who can't really keep these things going for any extended period of time. He'll need to take some lessons from Tsurumaru, clearly. Instead of playing along, he just places a hand against his cheek, looking even more delighted if possible.]
That's the first time anyone's ever called me that before! It's nice. [...BUT.] But it's not cute, right? That kinda thing is saved for people with the whole cool and collected image, so I don't think it suits me. [Oh, and the important part-] I'm not really a god, anyway.
no subject
But unfortunately for Atsushi, he's also a moron who sometimes puts his foot in his mouth, so. Here's him deflating, and muttering a low: ]
Kashuu-kun... you might even be an amanojaku...
[ Which is rude as hell, that's an oni who tricks people— clearly Kashuu is not so uncouth!! Just kidding, just kidding. ]
So... what are you, exactly? If you're not a deity...
no subject
Geez, that's super rude. I'm not any sort of oni! I'm a tsukumogami. [So... in the same potential bracket of animated objects as one-eyed umbrellas and futons that smother people, apparently. MUCH BETTER.
Though he at least things to clarify-] A sword!
no subject
[ Ok, maybe it's not as impressive as being a full-fledged god, but still: if they remade Spirited Away, Kashuu might be one of those background creatures, right? That's— ]
—That's amazing! Really amazing. No wonder you said you were strong, then...?
[ Listen, he's still a teenage boy, of course he thinks swords are cool. ]
no subject
He puffs his chest out a little, lookin like a dunknuts, but oh-so-proud.]
Right! Most people find me hard to handle, but in good hands I'm one of the best in my class! So you don't have to worry about getting hurt or anything while you're with me. I'll take super good care of you, pro-mise!
no subject
[ He sounds genuinely thankful about this! But of course, being a true Boy Scout, he won't leave it at that. ]
I'll definitely try to keep up, so... you can also depend on me, Kashuu-kun. I have a few tricks of my own up my sleeve, so... I'll try to protect you, too.
[ Friendship!!!!!! With a 530 year old!!! Close enough. ]
no subject
Ooh? Well! It'll be better if you don't get the chance to impress me- [Considering that'd probably involve one or both of them ending up at risk of being eaten...] -but I wouldn't mind seeing something interesting!
[He says that, but he'd be keeping a hawk eye on Atsushi the entire time... CAN'T LET NEW FRIEND GET HURT.]
How's your sight doing, anyway? Are the trees still blobby?
no subject
[ Which is a good sign, right? He even lets go of Kashuu for a few seconds to move around for a few seconds...
...where he promptly gets another snap to the foot.
...But he avoids it!!!!!!! ]
—Ah... ahaha... [ Dry Laughter. ]
no subject
...You kinda have bad luck, huh?
[Grabbing hold of his hand again. NOPE, not letting this one out of his sight.]
Let's stick together, okay? Since you drank that stuff, you'll probably be able to leave through the exit portal once we find one.