The thing about Cerealia is, there really isn't any nature to be found here. Sure, you can go outside the walls of the city and explore the land beyond but who wants to risk a terrible, horrible death just to sniff the flowers? Not you, that's who! CERES understands that, CERES sympathizes, and sometimes CERES decides to take action when such problems arise. As part of the company's current "Healthier and Happier YOU" initiative, they've decided to let everyone get back in touch with nature a little.
Via ViViD.
Of course, this being CERES, the nature they've sent everyone to is more of a swamp. The place is disgusting, a real marvel of ViViD ingenuity and it smells like the dead. There's strange rustling among the leaves from creatures that may or may not want to eat you, and random pits that open up right under your feet with the goal of sending you straight into the marsh. It's not really that fun. There's no welcome sign either, no nothing except for swamplands as far as the eye can see.
Welcome to ViViD!  This is Mosley. One of our programmers forgot to include a welcome greeting for the level this time. How incompetent can you get? He's been fired now, it's fine. Instead, I will greet you today. Lucky you! You've been invited today to participate in CERES's "Healthier and Happier YOU" level where we've combined both physical exercise and relaxing meditation into the ultimate ViViD experience. Isn't that fun? You can... go camping and stuff. Or whatever. I don't... know...
Honestly, I don't even care. Have fun.
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PHASE I [ 6 00 ] Welcome to your new healthy living training ground! What does a swamp have to do with healthy living, you may ask? Absolutely nothing! To make up for it, CERES has outfitted all players with the proper equipment for their new healthy living lifestyle. They also may or may not have let you keep your shoes based on how benevolent the ViViD gods were being at the time. (Not very.)
Oh, and all newcomers will have something additional on their fancy new yoga shirt. It will be displayed loudly and proudly all over the front and back of it. And if you're one of the few not wearing a shirt, it will be on the back of your pants. As in, your butt. It will be on your butt.
What’s ViViD trying to say, anyway?
Regardless, it probably doesn’t matter as much as finding your way through the swamp. Some sort of dry land would be really nice right now, wouldn't it? You'll have to watch out for the mud that will suck you right down under the marsh, and the creatures with lots of teeth that will never surface from the mud but won't hesitate to snap up an unwary foot or two.
CERES is sure you'll be fine. Totally and completely fine.
PHASE II [ 800 ] Eventually, if you try really, really hard, you’ll make it to a house. Actually, it’s more of a shack, really. If you clamber your way out of the mud and the gunk and the marsh into said shack, you will find it to be empty aside from a table. A table hosting a huge pile of... well, health drinks. See, there's totally a health theme in this level. CERES would never make a ViViD level that wasn't thematically appropriate. Never! Health drinks of all sorts and types and sizes can be found here and there’s even a sign too; it simply says:
Take one.
Well, that seems safe.
Unfortunately, you won’t be able to leave said shack until you do take one. And drink it. The door will lock shut and cover itself in more swamp until you do. Yay. Depending on your luck, the drink may do the following to you: ➟ Cause your ViViD experience to glitch. This may involve phasing through walls, seeing everything in 8-bit, or hearing really annoying old video game music everywhere you go.
➟ Cause status effects. This can include suddenly moving incredibly slowly, being turned to stone for a period of time, suddenly being on fire, suddenly being poisoned, etc etc.
➟ Be healthier. Mmm, kale and hummus smoothie. Taste those veggies. If you try to take more than one, that’s fine too, nobody will stop you, but you probably won’t get lucky more than once.
PHASE III [ 900 ] And back you go, out into the swampy wilderness. Don’t give up! Keep going! Eventually, you’ll find the end of this level. Probably.
Eventually, though, you may stumble across something in the mud and the muck. It’s... a little doll?
In fact, it’s a little doll of one of your most important people (or, alternatively, of someone you absolutely hate). It might be someone in Cerealia currently, or someone who isn’t, but either way, the doll is there and it’s clearly them (covered in mud and all). Be careful, though. If you toss it aside, you’ll suddenly see that important person being tossed aside. If you cut the doll, you'll suddenly see that person bleeding. Even if they aren’t present in Cerealia, whatever happens to that doll, you'll see it happening to them. Is it a hallucination or are they actually there? That's a little more up in the air.
And if they are present in Cerealia, well... doing things to that doll might very well hurt them too -- for real, this time, though.
Be careful! Or don't. You do you, as CERES would say.
PHASE IV [ 1200 ] And then, eventually you reach a quiet, swampy area. Not that the rest of the swamp isn't swampy, this area is just extra swampy.
There’s very little happening here in this swampy place; even the birds are no longer squawking. And for a long moment, everything will remain quiet and peaceful, a place of reprieve... until the swamp begins to bubble. Then suddenly, a new friend will burst out of the swamp, showering mud and gunk everywhere.
Without warning, that creature is going to try to grab for the nearest person (it might be you!) and let out a mighty roar when they have them. Then, they'll hold them up to... read the nutrition facts on their shirt? What?
Of course, it will try to gobble you or whoever else it grabs if it finds, say, the salt content to be acceptable (the monster is watching their carbs). If it's not, then they'll just fling you away and move onto the next snack. For those without a handy nutrition facts label on your shirt, well, it might just take a gamble and try to eat you anyway.
Great. A health-conscious monster. That's just what this level needed.
BONUS [ xxxx ] Finally, you’re free of the game. Without warning, you’re dumped into Cerealia properly and you’re able to scrub the mud and gunk from your clothing (wait why did that come back with you and where are your normal clothes?). You're able to then make your way to your new place of residence (or old) and...
There is a tiny tree there waiting for you. Isn’t it cute? And if you take care of this tiny tree, it will eventually bear fruit! Tiny fruit. Itty bitty fruit.
Depending on which tiny tree you get, it will be one of the following: a tiny dildo tree, a tiny bacon tree, a tiny kazoo tree, a tiny carolina reaper tree, or a (dumb) tiny hats tree.
Everything will, naturally, be tiny. Enjoy your new healthy CERES gift!
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no subject
[There was a pause where Kazuya looked torn between amusement and total bafflement. Had he heard rightly there? A written exam to be a hero? Like... what even?]
How does that even work? How can you rank heroism through that? Like, okay, I can sorta see "physical" because, like, a strong hero is more efficient than a weak one, but at the end of the day it's guts and moral courage! Standing up and doing what's right, even when you're terrified, beaten down, or up against something bigger and stronger than you...
[It was obvious Kaz was speaking from experience here - well, multiple ones, really. He'd been a weak, normal human once, and had spent that time frantically scrambling about in the dirt, thinking he was going to die from a demon that was far too powerful for him to face - but one that he faced anyway, because if he didn't, who else would? Nobody would, and people would die, and like hell Kaz would ever stand by that. It was a courage that came from the heart! To think someone quantified that with a written exam! His amused bafflement quickly transitioned into offence!]
You can't measure that with a written exam! [He huffed loudly, crossing his arms and even stomping his foot - though that only made a squelching, swampy noise, as opposed to the loud bang he'd been hoping for] That's complete bullshit, man!
[... then he realised that he just effectively called what this guy who could vaporise a monster in two seconds flat was part of "bullshit". Uh-]
I-I mean, it... that doesn't seem well thought out.
no subject
By the end of Kazuya's honest assessment, Genos has one hand under his chin and the other crossed against his chest supporting his other arm. ]
Perhaps not. You make valid points, Kazuya. I do not mean to defend the Hero Association, however I should explain it better. Higher rank heroes are given special privileges as well as larger compensations than lower rank heroes. The point of the exams are to weed out those who become a hero for "unjust" reasons.
[ Honestly, Genos is only a hero because Saitama had made it a condition for him to be one in order to become his disciple. Had it not been for that, Genos would be very much so like his master and sort of be a "hero for fun". ]
no subject
[Maybe it was a difference in culture, that Kaz was struggling to wrap his brain around it. Maybe the definition of "hero" was different between their two separate worlds. It was this thought that had Kaz restrain whatever else he might say, instead conveying most of his uncertainty about the whole thing by pulling off an epic pout]
I just don't get it, I suppose... well, either way. I mean, even with that messed up business, you seem like a good guy, Genos. [He actually perked up a little] Like, you look pretty intimidating and, uh, "I can snap you in half with my pinky" scary, but you're actually decent. Totally proper Hero material without some weird test to prove it.
no subject
Thank you. I agree with you that perhaps the Hero Association has it's problems but the meaning behind it is still to protect people. Heroes like myself who do not care about the fame or the money are in a fair in number, I assure you.
[ Well, he really can't assure that but Genos isn't going to look down upon the majority for the minority. Even if some of the questionable heroes he has met (or not met), or just mainly Sweet Mask and Metal Knight, should attract some concern. ]
However, you are definitely excellent hero material, Kazuya. My master and you are similar in how you both view the Association. [ There might be some projecting there seeing that Saitama is more or less indifferent but...Genos. ]